lala, this is good information and I'm going to ask the two other sibs if they have any answers. I'll cut and paste your comments to them, if you don't mind. Unfortunately, much of the situation you described in your family sounds like what's going on here.

Iris and Howard see Mom about once a month. They say she's doing okay for the most part but she gets so depressed, she retreats so far that she isn't totally aware of the real world. They don't think it's Alzheimer's.

And Philip is a thieving lazy pig.