Francine,

I'm so sorry for your struggle. I will try to answer your question as best I can.

It is rare for people with anxiety disorders to commit suicide, however it is more common in those struggling with depression, and often the two go hand-in-hand.

You mentioned you left a therapist who was helping you when you went to Germany. Are you seeing a therapist in Germany?

You also mentioned you are taking medication for depression and panic attacks. There are many different types of medication, and if one is not working for you, I would urge you to talk to your doctor about trying another.

Fear is a tough nut to crack. The "normal" response to fear is to get away. But the fear related to panic is different. My experience has been that the more you run from it the harder it chases you. I found that changing my response to the panic fear (not an easy task) diffused it. Sort of like the analogy we use in the book, "Panic is like a haunted house, the only way out is through it." It's not an overnight cure. You have to unlearn behavior that's been automatic for most of your life, but it can be done. Better yet, it gives you a tool for when panic hits. Rather than just waiting for the panic attack to end.

I hope this has been some help to you. Please, hang in there.

Jeanne