To all,
Jeanne here.
Such heartbreaking stories. One wonders, did anyone experience the true innocence of childhood? I'm sure many did, but when I talk to people, to women, I find that all have experienced some sort of abuse. It seems to me that what varies are the levels. For some it may have been "inappropriate touching" by an uncle or a teacher. Certainly that cannot compare with what's been discussed here, but it still has an impact.
Which brings me back to the question we tried to get answered while writing the book...nature or nurture. Are anxiety disorders the result of childhood trauma, or the environment in which one is raised, or are anxiety disorders the result of a chemical imbalance within the brain? It turns out there is no definitive answer on this, although the general feeling in the medical/psychiatirc community today is that it is a combination, nature and nurture. I suppose this makes sense. That would explain why two people, who experience the same things as children may respond differently as adults. If one's brain chemistry is predisposed to anxiety disorders, thier response to abuse, or being raised by a paranoid or catastrophic- thinking parent, or so many other things, might differ from someone who's brain chemistry is different.
I think for me, that was the case. For years I was in therapy, and although it helped me, I still experienced my symptoms which greatly influenced every aspect of my life. Later I used medication, which did alleviate many of my symptoms, but I still struggled, I still couldn't do all of the things I wanted to do. I didn't really feel "well."
Still later, it was the combination of mediction, therapy, and a lot of reading, research and ultimatley an understanding of "me." An understanding of my disorder, an understanding of "why" certin things trigger panic for me, and then concentrating on the "why." I found that most often my fears revolved around a loss of control. For a long time I concentrted on why I was so terrified of loosing control. But figuring that out gave me no relief. So I realized I had to deal directley with everything that losing control meant. That's really when my recovery began.
Jeanne