Have you heard the song on the country music stations by Martina McBride "I am so blessed?" I had a wonderful time at watercolor painting class. My paintings are a different part of my personality. Whereas my book expresses the darkest secrets, the paintings express my greatest joys. Given all the pain and suffering I write about, it may sound odd to hear that I felt like the luckiest woman in the world today. I get to live the life of a writer, and I get to paint, things I longed for since childhood. I've ridden horses, hiked the High Sierras, strolled in the Garden of the Gods, lost God, found God, and reconciled with my family. I’ve felt resentment and forgiveness. I’ve been ruthless as compassionate. I drove a woman to class who just moved here from Germany; she is due in August. How honored I felt when she said I was her first friend in America! Anything I can do to give her comfort while she sorely misses her family and home country during her pregnancy. I visited my husband at his work, flirted with him, and bought him a present (a badly needed new wallet, with a gift card from Starbucks in it) And I feel so at home in Colorado, like I've lived here all my life! I think about my cousin Annie often. You know from the book that she drove her car into a tree on a clear night. Her promiscuity, drug and alcohol addiction, and 3 marriages before the age of 30 were a result of her abusive childhood, and being molested. I thought about how happy to be on earth. I could have moments of Survivor's Guilt because I am here and she is not, but then I realize I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment, and for that I give thanks.

[ April 21, 2005, 09:27 PM: Message edited by: lynn329 ]