Hi Smile, I think arguments and anger is acceptable in relationships. I also think we can conduct those arguments without yelling. I don’t have kids, but I know that our dogs have absorbed the yelling; they think that we are yelling at them, so they cower. When I was a kid, I could not stand to over hear the yelling. Yes, there are ways for couples to disagree without being abusive. I had to learn this myself: how to disagree with my current husband without being abusive, without calling him names, without slamming doors, without threatening divorce. I learned that we can express emotions without it being dangerous. A counseling tool often used in relationships is this: “I feel _____ when you _____. Such as, I feel neglected when you watch too much TV. Using this tool tends to express feelings without attacking the other person. I used to be so angry that my now husband once asked, “Why are you always so hostile?” Until I learned the reasons for my hostility (anger from childhood abuse misdirected at myself and others) I could not be open and honest about what I wanted to express. Yes, I too used to hold onto resentment until it came out in a fury. I did that at work too. For example, instead of saying to my employer “I felt unappreciated when I heard that you called me one of your “Little People” I carried the resentment like a chip on my shoulder until I almost got fired. Well, when I finally told my employer that I had heard her say this about me, she apologized, which was the response I was hoping for. As for my husband, when we argue we are careful not to be abusive, and we often diffuse the argument later when we laugh at the stupid things we said to each other. That is not meant to minimize the points we were trying to get across during the argument. I've also learned that although I am right most of the time, I don't HAVE to be right. Sometimes I let him think he's right until he learns otherwise!