Some time ago, I read an article about "drainers" and the negative effect they have on us. The author explained that we pick up the negative traits or habits sometimes simply to "belong" to the group or person, depending on the circumstances. I agree totally with this.

I was a parrot for a while (hard to believe, isn't it?) with a particular person I hung around at work. We not only socialized at work, but outside of work too. Then after reading the article, I realized that everything that came out of my mouth sounded just like her, and more importantly, it was negative. I realized that half the things I complained about weren't even valid. For instance, someone might say, "How you doing today?" and I would respond, "Oh I guess I'll make it." What a downer...good grief. I could have just as well said, "Great! And you?"

I stopped right then and started listening, really listening to her conversations with others and made mental notes of what would have been my response to these conversations BEFORE I realized I had become a parrot.

I didn't like what I saw. I had not only become a daily whiner, but I had lost my own identity. Why had I done this? Because I wanted a buddy, a pal, someone to travel with, that had common interests, and habits. She was ideal for this, if you overlooked the negativity. I had become so use to it, I hadn't even noticed I had become HER.

I pulled back from the socializing, both work and home. I started doing things with other people, and found that I enjoyed myself a lot more. One of the things that helped was when I quit smoking. She smokes, so that was my initial excuse. After a while, she found another "buddy" and moved on. Thank goodness.

I am much happier, I am my own person again, and I am a little bit wiser. The constant negative responses are gone, or more or less controlled by me now, and I view things in a better light.

I hope this experience helps someone else. You know I don't normally share personal experiences with you all unless it has some humor attached to it. But this is important I think. At least I can say it has changed my outlook and life is brighter now! The old saying, "you are who you hang with" is soooo true. Anybody else found this in their life?

JJ