Recently an ex that I've discussed here before with quite negative responses to my question or issue called. My hard headed, hot pants self decided that I was strong enough to meet with him on a 'just a friendly chat' date. My goodness!

Of course my resistence intrigued him and he began laying the lines on so very thick. He sure has a way with words. His words made vivid images of our past carnal conquests appear before me like a virtual foreplay. I kept my cool, for the most part. But, the third martini made me loose my bikini.

Now I'm mad at me and sad that I've re-opened that tender wound. Silly me, I know. Now my mind is fixated on the things he promised he'd never do again. Now my mind wants to play these tricks on me and have me believe that he's telling me the truth. My heart has been through sooo much and I just don't think I can, even if he's telling the truth.

Chatty, I know you say that I shouldn't think from that end but plz don't be judgemental here. I've known him for over twenty years and seven of those years I've spent loving him, or what I 'thought' was love.

How do we know when it's time to trust again. I know many folk have forgiven their mates over and over. How do you know when it's ok or real or should that just be a natural feeling that no words can explain?

Our conversations that's followed that whew! evening have indicated lots of positive change...lots of introspection on his part and time passed to boot.

HELP! I don't know if it's just my hot pants telling my heart stories or what the hay is going on here. Could this be some dormat form of loneliness rearing its ugly head?

Sugaree Hotpants!

[ March 19, 2005, 01:14 AM: Message edited by: Sugaree ]