I'm having a terrible time aging.

I'm 48 1/2, never had kids, married a man with adult kids whom we have never spent Christmas with (in 10 years), deathly afraid of DH dying before me and being alone, have no health insurance, all my family lives far, far away, etc. I'm tired and lonely, too. Yes, I belong to a couple of clubs but.

Why does the "world" have to put so much emphasis on "families" during Christmas and Thanksgiving time. All I hear is "kids this", "kids that", "home for Christmas". We have NO kids and NO home for Christmas. I have not decorated for 10 years........well, maybe 9. But that's it.

My face is wrinkling, my hair is graying, my eyelids are droopy, I have a hobby/job that I do at home but it's just not "enough". I have trouble focusing on a job so I do NOT want to work "out there".

Now, for the bright side: I can probably work part time, I have freedom to work at home, I have a DH who puts up with my HRT "experimenting" of being on again/off again with the pills, we have five WONDERFUL doggies without whom I do not know if I could be happier.

So, that is my whine.