Yep... we're starting to talk divorce. Hubby tells me there is nothing left inside to rekindle, romantically speaking. He says it hurts him, because he never, ever thought that he could ever stop being in love with me... but that part of us has died in him.

He loves me, he says, but he's not in love with me. He cares about me as a friend... but not as a lover. He's tried, he says, to rekindle the romantic love, but there's nothing left inside of for me. He's madly in love with Amy, and that's all there is to it.

I would think... if he really cared for me as a friend... he wouldn't be slobbering all over her in public, right in front of me, for me to get jealous and feel horrible. We all went to a party yesterday, a nice barbecue with friends, and his behavior was so bad, so dishonoring of me, that I finally broke down and wept.

They were all very sympathetic... someone took me home... and when he and Amy finally came home, quite drunk, he kept saying the same B.S. over and over again... I'm sick of hearing it... now he wants me to feel compassion on him, for his pain, because it hurts him to not love me that way anymore....

What a crock of shit. And he doesn't want me to move out, because he says when we all work together, we make a great team. I'm thinking that when I wash the dishes, cook the meals, mindthe kids, shop and do the laundry, it frees them up to screw around and such. Neither one of them even bothers to feed the dog or the cats.

I'm not going to be their maid. No way. I'll be kind to the children, but I'm not their f*cking maid. My plans are to find some way to support myself and get the hell out of here.

I have no idea how I'm going to accomplish that. I'm just hoping they can behave themselves well enough so that I don't beat one or both of them to death before I'm free of the situation.

Wish me luck.