Holy crap! You said EVERything I was gonna say but even better!

Geeze Lillian.... you've got so much going on. But kind of on the same lines as Garrie, take it in small bites.

Do something you CAN do first, and I wouldn't do so much talking about it, just do it... and if your husband cares at all ( I don't know that you ever said how long you've been married) he may come around.

I think I'd rethink that whole 'open marriage' bit though. When there's sex involved, you join spirits in the most intimate way with another being which puts an exclusive relationship at constant risk. And I don't know about you but it's the most important relationship here on earth to me other than my children. My husband, with all of his broken parts, is still my most prized belonging and I wouldn't want to share him with anyone.

I got a little confused though, now......whose kids are you watching? The girlfriend's? And is she living with you? She's infringed on your friendship too much, it may be time to move on, she's not being a very gracious guest.

Be good to yourself. Figure out what it is that you want and start moving toward that goal. But there's much too much confusion going on at your house.

This probably sounds so disjointed but my thoughts came in little pockets..... sorry.