I would like to add my 3 cents. (inflation ) My brother gave his son up for addoption when he was 5 years old. my brother was in the military and had been stationed overseas almost since the birth of his son (1976ish). My brother's wife fell in love with someone else, and asked for a divorce and to be allowed to have her new husband adopt my nephew.
Years later, my brother remarried and had three girls. He says he thinks about his son all the time, but that he gave his promise to let him have a new life with his new father. His daughters would like to know their brother, but do not know his new name. These things have caused a lot of sadness on our side of the family. And even though my nephew (whom i have never met) is now an adult, my brother feels he still has no right to contact him.
I have had kids in my classroom that have gone through these kinds of things.
Don't get me wrong. I think the father in this case did the right thing. i think my brother did the right thing. But I also think the natural parents should have a little of the child also. even if it is just so (s)he can tell the child he did it for love. So the child can hear it from the parent. to help the child move forward, instead of always wondering.
Okay, so I gave more than three cents worth. i hope i did not offend anyone. I just wanted to give our experiance.
Sandy