Sounds like it might be best from Grandfather...it's his daughter after all. And he did help raise his own children once upon a time.

But if he's going to suggest too much pick-up child to stop crying @ 6 yrs. old, then he/you better have some useful tactics to help out when child starts whining and wanting to be picked up. Sounds like step daughter needs lots of encouragement to try things differently. Is her hubby open to new ways of doing things?

Same situation with one of my nephews, who is 3 yrs. old. I commented to my sister, the mother. She said that her hubby just can't be bothered to deal with prolonged crying, whereas she can tolerate it better. So, I just left that subject alone since obviously it's a difference in child rearing practices.

Di, I think I was carried less than 5 times at that age. I'm the eldest and there were already 2 other younger siblings plus another one in mummy's tummy at that time. Clearly, my parents had to figure out their priorities and figure out different ways of comforting /calming a child at different ages.