A new post- yesterday was the sad (10th) anniversary of my Mom's passing. She was using for the first time, and inhaler prescribed by the dr. when she was having breathing problems due to(undiagnosed) emphysema (after the fact diag.) , and her airways shut down, with the most dire circumstances despite the best cpr my brother in law gave and the best attention from ems called to my sister's home...can you imagine their pain in this regard. I've felt guilty about this for all this time, because Mom called me the day before and I could tell she was having problems, and advised she go to the doctor. She went the next morning. The doctor did not know her whole medical history,had seen her in the past but not regular - and made excuses(she didn't take care of herself, she was depressed after your dad's passing, etc...just a load of crap) after, she did not recover from her coma that ensued after we did make the decision to take out the breathing apparatus, knowing her wishes in that light and her living will. It was a very long passage of pain for all of us, the doctors (in the hospital, neurology and pathology) in light of that were clinical but understanding to our pain and made Mom as very comfortable as possible, considering the situation. A long passage of 10 days til her burden was relieved. I wish I had had the courage to go after that doctor, he was very cavalier and made a lot of excuses at Mom's deathbed. I know others have had the same path when the DNR issue is a part of the equasion, and I am not garnering any sympathy in that path, please believe me. I just still am sad. I miss her often and know she is in a better place, but I am still very angry at myself. Yes, I know I should seek counselling there.. and I know it wouldn't have done any good to go after her primary care dr. .I have been told much in that light, in all the aspects...it won't make it right, and I have made some sort of peace, but still it's hard. When does it ever get easier in this regard...thanks for listening! Does it ever get easier.. Sorry to unburden so. this is one good place to put your heart and soul on a plate and never feel compromised, and I really appreciate that. I like just being able to voice this after so long, and I hope you guys understand.