Of course your friend has every right to end a poor relationship and to refuse to let someone take advantage of her, but I hope your friend speaks up about things that are bothering her in future.

In fact, I'm not certain it's all that gracious to be seething inside over and over and not saying something. I lost a long-standing friend over this issue when I discovered that she had been keepng a big secret from me. (Her husband got angry with me over a minor remark I made but no one ever told me about it until a chance encounter left me shaken after he started shouting at me.) If I make someone angry, please tell me. Don't pretend that everything is all right and then leave me wondering if you (general you) ever tell the truth. All she had to do was tell me I owed someone an apology and I would have been over there in a flash. Now I don't trust either of them; they were never going to tell me. What else have they never told me?

The other relatives need to do the same thing, though: stop the freeloading now. Sometimes you can't make people better but you can stop them driving you crazy, so I'm sure your friend did what she needed to do for her peace of mind.