I had to step in here as I have had 4, maybe 5, times in a psychiatric hospital. I was in for depression, substance abuse (alcohol), and a suicide attempt. Alcohol was a way of attempting to self-medicate for the craziness going on in my head. In reality all it did was make things much,, much worse. Be patient with the process of finding the right combination of medicines. After E.C.T. the depression became more manageable and they were able to find the right meds to give me my live back. I have come to understand that my problems are physically based and I will need the meds for a live-time, just as a diabetic needs insulin.
If you want to talk more about the in-patient experience let me know. Just know you are not alone in all this, although you may feel it. Many of us have been through it but are timid about opening u about what we have been through. Take care,