I'm interested in your view of jails. I agree a bit with the concern about nursing homes, but I'm curious how many posting here have been in jail? (Don't need to raise your hands...;))

I guess I don't keep up much with news, but the jail I visited was nothing like you described. No computers for certain. Nothing for the women to do all day but chat with one another. A small basketball court with two balls. The guards weren't exactly what I'd call friendly. (One lady got yelled at for following the guard too close up the stairs.) And that was a minimum security prison.... Oh, not much shower options and definitely no pools. One tiny little window at the top and that's it.

Money is spent on nursing homes to make them as comfortable as possible, to provide nursing for their health, etc. And yes, it's way expensive. My 99 year old grandmother had to be put in a nursing home six months ago for the first time and we hate that she has to be there, but it is no longer possible to keep her at home. Her daughter bought a house a few blocks away and one of her grand-daughters is a nurse there. Comparatively she gets great care, but no, it's not like living at home - at all.

We Americans are a wee bit spoiled in my opinion. We live in a great "Have it my Way" Burger King/McD's generation - most of the world around us does not have that option. In our great affluence, I wonder if we (self included, I've seen my Starbucks bill) haven't lost sight a bit of "reality" as seen by the other 3/4 of the world. We complain when we don't have enough living space. As bad as the economy has been, not too many of us (yes, yes, some have) have had to put three families in one house - or even two for that matter. Our poor can get access to running water and shelter and clothes, food at food banks, etc.

Someone once said, "If we have food and clothing, we should be content with that." Why? Because in reality relationships (including relationship with God) and people are where true treasures lie - not in things that quickly are destroyed. My love (hubby) spent four years in a tribe in Africa. I've never been that far, but I've seen enough here to think I need to beware of my own tendency to greed.
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Children are a wonderful blessing. Perhaps my life was harder than some (and definitely easier than others); I never regretted pregnancy, nor labor, nor changing diapers. Life isn't about my likes and dislikes. I had kids! Wonderful, amazing kids with eyes and a nose and a mouth (oh, yeah - got mom's mouth....) They are AWESOME because - well, because they are themselves. The other little stuff, the thorns and pricklies, the occasional heartbreaks and tears are SO worth it, because they (my kids) are in my life. We Americans all too often seem to cherish the temporary and neglect what is important and lasts. If the rose pokes us, we prefer to pull it up by the roots, rather than continue to enjoy it's perfume. People are amazing and wonderful, when we take time to enjoy them. Some need more love than others and some (ok, all) tend to malfunction at times, but that doesn't make them less incredible and amazing.

Parents are amazing. Your mom gave you birth - and by now, most of us are blessed to know that that was no easy thing! Far harder than that, our parents raised us. Yeah, they made mistakes. (I'm glad my daughters are quick to forgive....) We made mistakes when we were kids, too.

So now comes the most amazing thing of all - we get to love them all over again. We get to love them like they loved us when we were little. This isn't a negative and it hurts me to see older people think that they will be a burden. They are not. Yes, some of us have little kids and can't do as much as we'd like for them (our elders), but where there is love, love finds the doors and windows needed - whether through friends or other relatives or perhaps just letting go of what we thought was important to allow what IS important to take root and grow. I do not think it should be a guilt trip if someone is "just" caring for physical needs. A father working 3 jobs to put food on the table should NOT be condemned for not spending enough time with the kids. If he's putting all his time into a big house that is not needed or fancy car, etc, then yes, he should realize it's the kids that are important (not the car or the sports or whatever.)

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I don't think prisons are that great. My friends' brother spent some serious time and the letters he wrote of the horrors he endured and survived aren't repeatable here.

But if the nursing home "system" needs changing, then change it. Start today. Four or five of you create a group and start brainstorming. The group will grow. How can more volunteers be added to offset the workload on the nurses? (A friend is a nurse for a nursing home. She has a 6 year old. She has told me time and time again she is going to quit because her 40 hour week became a permanent 55 - 60 hour week. She gets exhausted. But inevitably when I ask, Did you quit? She answers, No. I can't, because they (the people living there) really need me there.)

What can be done to evaluate nurses within a nursing home on a FAIR scale? For kindness, thoughtfulness, etc in addition to quality checks. A lot of places they are overworked. (Maayybe, we can train our teens and young adults to spend less time watching tv and playing video games and more time volunteering....Of course, "training" means we are involved.)Is the nurse working a 40- 50 hour week with occasional long shifts or is she/he overworked (and thus short tempered)? Are they trying to "survive" keep the patients alive and physically healthy, but not ABLE (NOT, not willing) to care for their comforts, etc? What things (such as bedtimes) could be turned over to volunteers? Can boy scouts, girl scouts, schools get involved? Make a goal that every person who can handle it gets at least 5 hours a day interaction with another person. If our parents aren't near to us, who can we find (churches, etc) to commit to visit them daily - can we trade for someone else's mom?

It's REALLY easy to say what needs to be changed (cough, cough, of course **I** don't need to change anything in **me** - please note my sarcasm), but not worth much if we're not willing to - without pride and boasting - go in and make the difference. (Please realize I'm speaking to myself as well.)

Internet makes it easy. Create the equivalent of a workable "franchise" styled plan for change in the nursing homes. Build the concepts as you would a business, then get volunteers to help with the legal end, etc. Then start implementing it one nursing home at a time, with the goal of having all nursing homes across America connected with helpers through this non-profit organization (that you started) by the time WE need to get in a nursing home....;)just joking.)

You should have no problem finding volunteers to help with this since most people have a good chance of ending UP in a nursing home.

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The other change is to care for our children, if we can. (People coming out of abuse, sickness etc, need healing first, but again, love finds a way.) What love we lavish on our children is the love we will receive from them. If we've wronged them, today is a good day to start making amends. But we have to be honest.

We have taught our young people that not caring too much is ok. That it's ok if we're not getting along with our spouses (not talking abuse here) we can get divorced. We don't see divorce as a great, horrible painful evil that is akin to death. It's "just divorce." So the pain caused to the children and to ourselves and spouses is done and like the nerves in our bodies that slowly deaden when we burn them bit by bit, our "love nerves" that once told us of pain and danger no longer work as well as they should, because little by little we've ignored the pain. The problem is that eventually the destruction is manifest in far more serious ways. A child was second place to the job, the music, the "whatever" (instead of the job and the music, etc being FOR the child and spouse, it became a means of self-exultation, self worth and pride) and so the child learned to ignore his/her pain. Then the parents' pain comes along, but the child has lost the capability to feel as he/she should.

These things never take my posts cause they're always too long....anyone wanting to give me free "concise" lessons, just let me know....!:)