I can only relate to this from the side of the addict. I wasted 4 years of my adult life (from 55 to 59) pouring alcohol down my throat, landing in several hospitals and rehab programs. Finally something clicked (as well as an appropriate mental health diagnosis) and I somehow managed to land with my feet on the ground. All I wanted to add in this conversation is that from this side of the fence you need to know that you are not at fault. No one forced that wine down my throat, I did it all to myself. It is the addict who is doing this to himself for some reason I'm not sure is fully understood even by the folks who study and research the field of substance abuse. I know it may be next to impossible (especially for parents who love to assume quilt) but please, please, instead of beating yourselves up give yourselves the credit you deserve for living through the pain and getting up to try to find peace a day at a time. Again, you are not at fault, your loved ones have a disease called addiction and only they can step up and 'treat' the disease. You can't do it for them.