Thank you for your replies and your understanding. Not easy to write but life isn't alway easy. Yes I want people to have an idea of what parents of addicts go through. They need to come out and seek support instead of blaming themselves for the choice their child chose. I didn't cram a pill (s) down my son's throat, or stuff white stuff up his nose or stick a needle in his arm and don't know of any other parents that have done that either. But there they are feeling guilty and shame over their son's or daughter's decision. My hope is they will come out from seclusion and see that they are not alone.
The saying that "one door never closes without another opening" is so true. I was doing chemo for ovarian cancer when we learned about my son's addiction. It wasn't difficult to be hard on him because here I was fighting for my life while he was throwing his away.
I don't have a hill to climb to seek refuge but I do have a front porch with views of the mountains in a rural area. Morning I have my coffee on the porch as I rock in my rocking chair and the evening a glass of tea. This is my peace.
Yes the women on this site are amazing. Their stories have touched my heart and the replies are so truly concerning that I just know these are wonderful woman.
Thank you, sincerely thank you for all your kindness.