Grief’s Cloak was written close to the one year marker of my husband's death. We had been married for 42 years.
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I thought I had taken off grief’s cloak,
so that its heaviness would be lifted and
that my pain and sadness would fade away.
I needed to do that in order to find out
where and who I was without you.

And then I found my joy, my spirit -
my own special light.
I grew wings, felt myself fly, lifted;
excited by this newfound sense
of discovery and freedom.

The cloak disappeared as I soared.
Dipping and riding the waves of the air’s currents,
able to change direction
without fear coursing through my veins.
I was discovering life’s possibilities.

There is a rainbow of creativity emerging from me.
I could land gently to take in a new experience,
and then fly off in yet another direction,
moving ever forward on my life's journey.

But, was I also trying to outrun grief?
It was waiting for me up ahead …
the task of mourning wasn’t finished.
As the anniversary of your death approached,
Grief clipped my wings and brought me back to sorrow.

Grief’s cloak is a reminder that my sadness
is real and can't be wished away.
And, if not acknowledged, it will weigh me down.
So … Welcome back Grief.
I acknowledge your presence!
My sorrow is a reminder of what was,
what is, and what will be.

The story of us is woven into the fabric of my wings.
You will be part of me forever …
And, we shall always be connected.

Flying apart, now in different forms and space;
you ahead of me, lighting the way...
providing the wind upon which I soar.
Gently guiding me, yet giving me
the freedom to steer my own course…
As you always did!

Laurel D. Rund
1/6/09

"And to make an end is to make a beginning”
T.S. Eliot