OMG!!! I just got off the phone w/an old friend from way back.....about 35 years.Although we have been communicating for the past 3 or 4 years or so. She and I both do/could not have children and she is a widow of 2 years now.

She HIT me with: "Di you had unfinished mothering. Your Mom died at an unnatural point in life, but you were not finished needing her/being mothered. Hence, your 'neediness' happens". (DH has said how needy I am lately)

This friend also said that we continue to look for it but cannot find it in others. No way can that ever happen. So, I asked her how to remedy that. She says the best to do is accept it for what it is and move one.

Now gals........I'm 48 years old and I've just learned this about my life. I love 2000 miles from "home".......all my family is back there and I am here with a DH who only knows me 10 years. I cannot expect him to "fix" me since: 1. He did not know my past as I lived it and 2. He's not my mother

The analogy she gave was likened to a puppy who is removed from the mother immediately. It's so unnatural that the puppy will not be "ok".

This friend also mentioned that I reflect TOO much about my past. That I hold onto stuff when I should be getting on. Granted my past was so wonderful but I do think/reflect on it a lot.