Years ago I lost my 4 y.o. nephew to a very rare form of leukemia. There was a book I found that helped me survive the agonizing crushing weight of my grief. I send a copy to friends who are going through a loss, and I thought someone on this board might like to read it.

It's called "How to go on living when someone you love dies."
I'm sure amazon.com has it.

Here are some of the profound things I learned from this book:

(1) Grief and losses are *cumulative* -- meaning everytime you grieve, you are grieving for ALL of your losses. That's why it gets harder as you age.

(2) A loss is a loss is a loss. Marriages, pets, jobs, mother, daughter, etc. There is no such thing as "it doesn't count" in grieving, and it's not a competition. I think this is especially helpful when someone loses a pet. Our society has a very "it's just a pet -- get over it" attitude, which is not cool.

(3) While a terminal illness can be devastating, it allows loved ones to begin the grieving process early. Sudden loss is far more difficult to recover from.

I hope this book helps someone get through the process of grieving. As my friend Jen says: "There's nothing for the grieving but to grieve." (And she's a doctor!)

Warmly,
Sally