Hi Kathy,
I can relate to what you are saying about leaving your house if you read my recent posts. I struggled with the same and did move out of my spacious house/property into a much smaller ranch on a busy street. I am paying lots of money each month to live in my new place while my husband enjoys our property with many less expenses as that mortgage was paid for. This has been my choice and I don't begrudge him. Sometimes I really miss my old house especially on "grouchy" days when I find fault with the new one with not enough space, not enough electrical outlets, not enough privacy, etc. etc. etc. But then I try to remember the freedom and lack of drama that I have here vs. there. I can come and go as I please, leave my stuff around without someone complaining, turn up the music, do the housework naked, whatever I want! That definitely was not the case living with my husband in a turmoiled relationship.
I know how hard it is to leave the place you have put so much into and sometimes I think maybe I just should have sucked it up and stayed. Then I think NOT!
There is a book my therapist has recommended that I just ordered. It is called "Too good to leave, too bad to stay"
It is written by an experienced marriage therapist and is designed to ask questions about what you really feel and want. I can't wait to get it! Maybe it would be something you would like too.