Queen I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We all must face loosing our parents at some point, and no matter when or under what circumstances it will leave a void in your life. I speak from recent experience, my father died April 19th. We had his memorial service a week ago today. We still need to plan when/how to distribute his ashes. Many people have told me the past month that they are glad I still have a sense of humor. I think that helps most. Having friends and family around helps too. Holidays will be hard, my dad usually had his birthday celebration with 2 of my children, they all have BDs within a wk of each other in May. We celebrated last week and when they blew out the candles we all knew daddy was there blowing too. I too have been left with a mom to watch over. I tell my dad each night that I will promise to take as good a care of her as he did. It makes it hard on me because for 30 years of my life (minus 5 while in college) I was within 10 minutes of home, and saw them frequently. 18 years ago we moved from DC to Towson and we didn't see as much of each other. But it will still be hard especially this summer when we are at the family beach house. He and I used to spend hours doing picture puzzles. I won't have that quiet communication any more. I am busy as daddy's estate rep and I also am mom's legal rep. I now pay her bills, dad's affairs as well as my own families. It is keeping me busy. I still have times where I will break into tears as I remember I'll never do this or that with him again. You will too, and that is normal. People often don't know what to say when family die. It is best if they just be. We often avoid speaking of the person. I believe it is best if we do speak of them and remember all the good and funny times we had. It helps to do this with people who have similar memories of our lost one. Just know I am thinking of you. If sometimes helps to speak with someone who is going through the same thing. I'll be thinking of you....