There is so much damage in telling a child they might go to hell for such and such. Control and fear. It's so awful.

Celtic Flame,

I don't come from a Christian background, but I'd like to answer anyhow. You raise your child with love and respect for others. You show that there is love in your heart and your home, and that this, at the core, is what religion should be about. I'm sure at some point your child will notice that your life is not quite what the church preaches. I believe in the power of love to overcome fear -- fear of "other", fear of not fitting in, fear of questions that can rock the fundamentalists to their core. Teach your child about love -- that's the best anyone can do.

Hi, Celtic: I am Catholic. A very orthodox one and in the practice of my faith, Catholic cathechism dictated and has taught that we accept everyone with respect, compassion and sensitivity to all circumstances as all are created in the image of God. To do otherwise would be unChristian. It is unfortunate and it saddens me that there have been occasions where you have met conduct which opposes all of that which goes against the core of the very simple tenets of love and Christian thoughts.

It is inevitable that your son who attends a Christian school will be taught tenets of Christian faith, all of which are fundamentally rigid. As he continues to attend school within the structure of a Christian setup, his intuitions will develop accordingly. That is the purpose and hope of any faith school. Before I can proceed further, I would like to ask whether your son's family circumstance made any difference to cultivating friendships in school.

And would this be a Catholic school?

hay meredithbead,

thanks i agree with you that fundamentals of any religion is about love, and it dose overcome so much.

I would like that as one of his spirituale principles but also as a moral principal that he live his life by. He never heer's or see's me distrespecting anyone in or out the house or showing any obviouse predijuce. I hope i get to the unobviouse or sutler ones addressed before he gets old enough (they gotta be their i am human lol)

If your not christian what perswasion are you, and you don't have to answere that publicly or privitly. I gess i am just looking lol.....still keeping my options open.

Celtic_flame

Hi Lola,

Yea at lest once a year I meet the opposite of the Christian tenant of unconditional love and respect. If I am lucky it's only once a year. It's always in the street in public, it's always noisy and potentially violent as its necessary aggressive. I am always a sinner and dammed to hell.....It's quite intimidating, first time since I had the child with me rocked me to the core just trying to make sure he would be ok and not even scared by the carry on. Regardless of the so called "unconditionally loving" people filled to brim with hate spilling all over the streets and everyone in its wake. This is the more vocal of the fundamentalist opinions. The subtler less scary and a bit more civilised but strange nevertheless. We get patronised to death....the constant attempts at brainwashing....the quieter but still adamant attitude of damnation of the soul...Not as obviously harmful but not necessarily loving or respectful either, as it's based in the belief that I am fundamentally wrong and dammed. It's a one way conversion them necessarily trying to change me. I am fine and don't need or want changed in some respects. The necessary’s I will do in time as part of my evolutionary learning.

If you’re from the UK then you know the craic over here and what’s going on at the minuet.

L is at pre-school he's only coming up to 3. I originally enrolled him at an integrated school but their wasn’t a place for him. He's at a Catholic pre-school at the minuet, I wouldn’t want to split him from his buddies but I would, depending if I could get a better education on all levels for him. The 1 draw back of integrated school is there is not a clear religious direction of any kind and the practical education can be patchy. Yet they are full to the point you can't get a child a place on occasions, perhaps reflecting the changing times in NI

I had been brought up catholic myself, I had a big trouble accepting the creed. In terms of the "one true god" it kind of leaves out half his non catholic relatives and the rest of the non-Christian society. Hence he's as yet not christened into any church.....

I consider going catholic or protestant depending wear the child will get the best deal. I don't reject Christ far from it and it's one of 3 religious icons I do have in my house.

I was in another relationship where the child was christened catholic but went to a protestant school, due to his mum's religion and no place at an integrated school........Yes lifestyle dos interfere with friendships within Christian backgrounds. It's hard to work out if it's just about religion and its influence or about society and how slowly things change.

My other friends with teenage children in the same practical situations mostly have their children, by their own choice turning away from religion completely because they couldn’t reconcile that their parents wear doomed to an eternity in hell....

Does that make it clearer or helpful for you? Before you answer?

Hope things have changed a lot within the religious schooling for all our children’s sakes

celtic_flame

My two pennys worth about the school issue.I am in the UK (in Scotland)As an East coast Scot the pace is different.More presbyterian we call it the Kirk.I fully understand this is different in part of West/Glasgow.Indeed a geneology programme recently illustrated it when a man went to N.Ireland and interviewed relatives.You lassies in NI are in the thick of it I know .
My own opinion is that fear of poverty due to non acceptance during migration caused tje divide.Yet who built the railways through UK in Victorian times? Mostly Irish Catholics.Little children should not have the issue to cope with...childhood is so short.Yet its that which makes the "man" I believe God is love.And this season allows us to express it.
Mountain ash

Hi, Celtic: Catholic school catechism has not changed significantly from our time because the doctrines remain unchanged and I do not think positions will shift at all. Where catechism has evolved is in the stronger portrayal of a loving God. A God whose love is inclusive. A far cry from the much emphasized feared image of God we were once taught in childhood. I do remember the scruples brought about by the old school thought of fire and brimstones from baby catechism, and to some degree, have suffered from it as a child. It is a relief that children grow up and come to reason in the process. Thankfully, it is through reason with which we exercise our free will as adults and make our choices therefrom. It is so liberating to discover that each soul has its own journey to make and it is only in God, who knows the recesses of our hearts, we remain accountable to. In our respective journeys, despite the many hurdles put upon by differences of faith, the expressions of spirituality and lifestyles, we can find peace in the thought that no one but Him can judge us. To bear that thought also gives strength and courage to carry on living despite voices and conduct which discriminate and hurt.

As I have mentioned in my previous post: it is inevitable that your son will be taught within the structure of the Catholic faith. It is the basis on which any faith school is established. As your son, continues to attend it, his intuitions will develop accordingly. At the same time, however, that which is learned from school can be reinforced by what is taught from home without call to pit one against the other, whether the child comes from a conventional family or otherwise. We can only be reminded that at the rate Catholics have been divorcing these days (myself included), amongst other situations, there are many cases of “otherwise”. But, many children from these “otherwise” families come out well with a full heart and spirit. And by the same token, we must also be reminded that many children who are in conventional families do not.

It is upon that thought where the heart can find inspiration rather than be bereft with fear for something which might not even happen especially so if a child is raised with the love which a mother’s heart so strongly bears for him. I would like to think, that what we are intent on teaching our children do not come willy nilly, for lack of a better word. A fact which must be appreciated is that what we teach from home, in partnership with what is taught our children outside of it, acquired from a faith school or elsewhere, will be on the basis of our respective personal struggles, whatever they may be and however they may be unpopular. It may not be what those in the mainstream would want but if the teaching is sincere and honestly given, rooted in love of God and for others, which mortal soul would be in a position to dole judgement?

Well, Celtic. I do not know if I made any sense or helped at all. You posted with an open heart and I hope I have done likewise.

hay mountain

good to hear from you. Its been at lest 20 years since i heard the word kirk lol way to long i have been away from scotland. I read that and thought of the mounthly discos i went to when i was all off 12 at the high kirk at Stevenston cross good memories lol.

I saw that programe to Dr who man,( i love him and that programe) a fellow native but was preety stuck for words when he found his family heer and who they had been and whot they now are.

Yea a lot of the divide in the North,st points in time was dowen to ecconomics and lack of jobs than much else, but look at the damage eh.

The noth south devide just bafling when you sift throw the history Eh! Goodness know what started it all waayyyyy back, diffrent stories from diffrent people.

It's more important whats going on now than then in my wee oppinion but it dos help you understand or confuse you more in some cases lol

celtic_flame

Hi Lola,

to its credit the move towards a more tolerable loving god is one I really welcome and much needed within the whole organisation.

Sadly, the fire and brimstone is still burning bright in NI unfortunately. It will take a fair bit of time to catch up with the rest of the UK and these voices are so loud the more considered views can't compete against the din.

The doctrines remain unchanged and will do for a long time. If they ever do change it take a long time to do so. I may be out of date but hasn’t their been more accepting moves regarding birth control....I think that’s shifted and softened in recent years. Trouble is, once taught it's hard to let go off the teaching. One friend springs to mind sadly a load of kids later she still set against any form of birth control, it has certainly been hard on her health. But it's her choice.

Thank goodness no one human can really have the final judgment over our soul, it's one job I wouldn’t apply for and I agree it is a comport knowing that even though human judgment does hurt, it's less important in the long run. In 100 years that human judgment won’t matter at all (I use that saying way too much lol)

One point you made struck out it's the journey of the soul mines and (separate but together in some regards) wee L's. He's got his own journey to make if I choose carefully and add to his journey in positive way's but still be mindful it is ..his.. journey and make it he will it be ok.

Trying to be positive about the future in his spiritual religious upbringing is about all one can do. Meanwhile, I will prepare myself for what I have already seen and heard in the past, makes for more measured responses when the time comes when they are needed.

Its funny but poignant, it was L first Christmas play yesterday they were just doing Christmas songs in his schoolroom my partner and I entered the room and the support teacher greeted us and said "hay L theirs your mummy’s now" the principal picked up seconds after and singularised the mommies to mummy!!!! It would have gone more unnoticed if she said nothing, I also didn't know why!!! Was it because of the other parents present, or the Canon (first I had met him) in the corner who appeared for the show, did she even realize she done it? Who knows, but those moments I reflectively protect my partner, who just shrugged it off and we both continued participating in the activates.

so thanks for a well thought out and inteligent responce

celtic_flame

Lola, I once attended a retreat and was aske dot write about the God of my youth, then the God of my adulthood. In a nutshell, the God of my youth was one of fear, and the God of my adulthood is one of love. What a difference it makes when worshipping. I'm so grateful for all those who planted seeds for me to keep searching for that rocognition. That's one of the resasons I feel so called to plant seeds for others. That, and the fact that Christianity is always only a generation away from being distinct unless we continue to spread the good news.