Glad you made it through the day, Danita. I must say you are a very strong and brave woman to handle your ex back in your home for the day. Playing hostess and hiding your feelings. You deserve a big pat on the back and a big hug. I know I couldn't do it.

Thanks for the pat on the back starting over - :0)....

It's a "God thing"...I just felt led to invite him over. Our divorce is just so new - and I know it was good for the kids.

Him and I have parted "amiclably" (however you spell that darn word)...of that I'm VERY blessed. He has taken care of us financially, and that is no small thing. I can be gracious in return within my own capicity.

I sat next to him on the couch - and just wanted to rest my head on his shoulder. I can't believe that the man I've loved for 23 years - is a stranger now. It just breaks my heart. I had a good cry when he left - my daughter was so sweet - she just comforted me and thanked me for making it a wonderful day. Even writting now just makes be bawl.

I guess it's different when you divorce from a person you fought with or hated -- I used to say that there were two things I knew for sure about my life...

1. I was saposed to be married to my husband
2. that I was sapposed to be home with my children.

I guess you can say that my world has been pretty well rocked.

So all I know for sure now...

Is that God loves me and he has a plan for my life.

I guess that's being reduced to a simplier philosophy.

Hanging on to the hem of his garmet,

Danita

Danita,
Oh hun...I can remember that first Christmas and me standing there thinking "Who am I? Who is this man sitting here on the couch? I use to love him?"

He looked familiar but the energy was so cold. There was nothing to remind me of our 10 years together, my life was so out of tune. My ex looking at me as if I were Satan himself because I chose divorce over letting him continue to cheat. My small children being thrown into a world of running here and there for the holidays in order to see everyone, and putting on the "we're doing GREAT!" face. What a farce. We could barely eat.

No support except my own and most of this went to pay for childcare. At least it was that way the first year. And that was the hardest year of my life.

I remember so well looking at him as he came to pick the boys up. I kept trying to reassemble some lost scenes; you know the ones where he and I were lovers, parents, mates, and best friends. Only I couldn't. Buckets and buckets of tears had to be shed before I pulled myself up and moved forward. I'm so happy to hear that he is giving you financial support.

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.

My wish for you in 2007 is peace and understanding. I will be holding you so close to my heart, dear friend.

Danita, there may be other days that hit you hard when you don't expect it. It'll be a surprise and a challenge until one day you notice that you're okay, just fine, never better, and you'll smile and feel warm inside and know you that you've healed. I wish I could tell you when that will be.

Bless you and your children. We all love you.

Some holidays are harder for me than others. Xmas day was fine but I woke up feeling better this morning than I did yesterday. I'm secretly happy it's over and wonder how I'll do for New Years. I got books from the library today and planned my food (I just have to buy it) so I'm prepared. I notice that I do better alone than spending a holiday with someone elses family, which makes me feel more alone. Maybe I've figured it out! Maybe...

And too, remember that learning to enjoy your own company is half the battle. I rediscovered myself after my divorce. All my past likes, dislikes, movies, clothing, food, travling...all the things that had been pushed aside for years. Even my choice of reading material. So enjoy yourself! I know I do.

Don't you just love the excitment of a NEW YEAR and all the possibilities out there just waiting on us? WOW! I DO!

Danita, I also know exactly what you mean. I was also married 24 yrs. I loved him till the end, in many ways still do, but he had obviously moved on and is now married. I still cry sometimes after 2 yrs and just want to ask, was it worth it? Are you truly happier than when we were together? Were you really that unhappy?-because I was happy.....I truly don't understand men.

I am so glad you can see God's hand of grace in your life. That will get you through. I like the image of the Schulamite woman who held onto the feet of the prophet and wouldn't let go. I have kept that image in my mind through my ordeal.

Anyway, we are always here when you need us!

Danita, I am shedding a few tears for you as I post. I recall sitting with you at Barnes & Noble, chatting about our families and I could just feel the love you had for them. So the fact that the marriage is over breaks my heart.

I am so grateful for your daughter's love. Pretty amazing how they pull through in a pinch like that. They are much more perceptive than we think. May God bless her for comforting you and knowing you did what you did for them.

Oh how I would love to sit and chat with you at this time in your life. Are you coming to Baltimore any time soon? I know you have ties here...

Keep talking with God. He will reveal your plan in His time. I'm certain of that. Until, keep coming back and sharing with your sisters at BWS. Love you honey!

By the way, you look like a million bucks.

Thanks everyone for your compassion and encouragement.

This too shall pass.

I am very blessed...I know that for sure also!

hugs,
danita

The days ARE getting longer now.... does that help?