Hey gals, I'm curious to know if any of you have experienced Racism & Sexism at work (or anywhere). I've experienced both, to include reverse sexism.

Also, how important do you think attractiveness counts, especially over 40?

I've noticed that the men at work are racist, why? B/C the majority of the lawyers and staff are about 95% caucasian. The only african american secretary we have is very attractive, yet very stupid (I know this is awful to say), and the men just swooooon over her! She could destroy an entire transcript and the attorney would say "oh, don't worry honey"! Yet, when she leaves the room the men make racist remarks like "little black girl."

Us secretaries talk a bit amongst ourselves about this, but since it is a law firm, we don't want to be subjected to discharge.

Thus, I'm really noticing that the more attractive an invidual is -- the better treatment. Also, should an individual dress code have more style or seem very expensive -- better treatment.

I was at a garden center over the weekend, wearing sweats after a 5K fun run/walk and noticed that younger more attractive people were given preferential treatment over myself and older ladies. So, I returned a birdbath I purchased b/c they were so rude!

On the flip side, during the summer when I wear items with a bit more skin (yet office appropriate) the men do look and sometimes longer than they should, I do feel uncomfortable.

Some of the women at work wear low cut pants w/ their bellies out (or even very tight clothes) - yuk! I wish they wouldn't b/c this gives an improper message, even if they are married!

I try not to one-up the female attorneys, they don't like it when the secretaries dress like attorneys -- they want to be separate and noticeable. I purchase most of my clothes from Ann Taylor and Loft or Harolds (www.harolds.com).
I leave the attorneys to their power suits.

Okay, back to the subject, many years ago while in the military I experienced a good deal of sexism directed toward women, and racism mostly directed to african american men and women. Unfortunately, the later was the recipient of both sexism and racism. On two occassions I was the brunt of reverse racism, that was over 15 years ago. Yet, recently I was in Wal-Mart and the cashier told me to return my cart, and I said "No." I would have if they were nice, but I had checked out and they were rude. This lady told another cashier that that white lady better put back that cart or she was going to call the manager! Well, I don't know if she called the manager, but I did!

I don't believe in racism nor sexism, or that for which they stand for, yet I do believe that they do exist and sometimes simultaneously.

I apologize if I offend anyone with this subject matter, but I don't believe it belongs in the workplace either.

Thus, I ask again if any of you gals have experienced racism/sexism and your thoughts. Also, do you think the more attractive (and younger) are treated w/ preferential treatment?

So, I'm 40 now, and this all is just very curious to me. Thus, in addition, what did you do when your turned 40 to feel/look attractive?

Wow, this is a very deep social question. I think it would not be possible to answer it completely in less than 5 volumes.

But YES on all counts. Yes, I think there is racism and sexism alive and well in the workplace and in American culture, and more poignantly in other countries. Just wait a few more years, you're only 40, and you'll be noticing creeping ageism as well. It is far more insidious--especially for women.

Yes, I think young attractive women are better treated than older women. Yes, I've seen reverse discrimination both racist and sexist in the workplace. But whether it's fair, or right or wrong or not, it exists and we have to find a way to deal with it every day without burning our bras from the top of a soapbox.

Trying not to be too philosophical....but we all have to find a way to deal with the inevitable inequities in life. The government may legislate and the people may protest to their heart's content, but lovely young women will always be a desireable commodity. Youth is desirable and old age is not. Perky tits are better than aged saggy ones. Equality may exist in the letter of the law but it does not exist in the minds and hearts of people. Youth and beauty are very powerful qualities. They drive the laws of nature and reproduction. You cannot reasonably expect them to be subjugated in the workplace.

I think that once you have passed a *certain age*, particularly as a woman, you begin to see for the first time the kind of favoritism that young and attractive people produce in the responses of the culture around them. Maybe because it is something that you yourself had, and now find slipping away.....it is indeed a very bitter pill to swallow. I think when we can't find ways to deal with the bitterness of that loss that we become crabby crotchety old ladies.

I too have experienced all of this and more. I struggle with it daily. I see lovely young women treated well and in the same circumstances I am brushed away as a noneity. It is supremely insulting to know that you posess the knowledge and compassion and wisdom that they lack, and yet they are held in high value and you are dismissed with little regard. It is part and parcel of the unfairness of life.

I don't suppose that any of this answers your question exactly, except that, Yes! we all deal with this. It hurts.

[ March 27, 2006, 05:55 PM: Message edited by: mrs_madness ]

I have not personally experienced discrimination due to age. Actually, I think attractive people in general, whether male or female, black or white, young or old, get preferential treatment. There are disadvantages to being attractive and I've seen people treated very badly simply because they were cute. Our society dictates what is deemed attractive. When I see someone get preferential treatment, I don't get upset about it - that's life.

Of course, I don't work in a male-dominated field plus I work from home, so I don't have day-to-day contact with my co-workers.

Daisygirl

Sexism and racism are always going to exist. As long as ignorant people breathe, it's going to be a part of our life.

I've never experienced feeling less because of my age. Maybe it happens and I just don't notice. I do hate to hear an elderly person called old lady or man. I think that's so insulting.

Mustang, I guess it's what you focus on. If looks are the most important thing, when you age it's going to bother you. If you focus on the spirit, it will never grow old or go away.

MustangGal I do believe there should be a dress code for the office, living here in Vegas in the hot summer the girls and women dress shamefully at times. Then they wonder and whine when they suffer stares, remarks and giggles....Any woman who has been in the public eye from the time she was a young, shapely attractive girl to now when she is an older woman knows that there is a definite obvious difference in treatment. Anyone saying otherwise is living in a dream world. Not fair but factual....If we don't feel the same about the way we look now that we're older how can we expect anyone else to??