I'm giving up on 5 people for our party in one week. They are all first cousins that I included because I love them and miss seeing them. None of them live more than 30 miles away. We seldom see each other or even talk on the phone but their parents, who are all in their late 70's and 80's are coming. It would be so nice for all of us to see each other again, especially since my Aunts and Uncles are getting older and who knows how long they will be around. I guess that means once the old folks are gone we will probably never see the cousins again. At least the ones that don't know how to RSVP. Oh well, I guess they just don't care about trying to keep the family together. It is really sad. Many of the others are coming and we will still have a great time. I just wish a little courtesy would have been given.

When my Grandmother died the Aunts, Uncles and Cousins scattered, including us and we never see one another living so far away. Its sad but things change if you move away.

I really enjoy all of our family and I am also a softie. This situation recently happened to me and I emailed much as I could, then left phone messages and eventually gave up. I figured that they must be thinking...."goodness hasn't she gotten the hint yet!!". So I concentrate on those friends and family who do make the effort to respond and I am not ignoring, but not going out of my way, for the others. I will always send a christmas card, that sort of thing in order to keep the doors open, because you never know what is going on in their lives to hinder their ability to respond so I dont take things personally and just get on with my life.

DebShines, you are a wise woman. That is my policy with a brother who is not participating in our family (2 other sisters). I know for a fact that he has issues, I was in the same family after all. I hope one day he will get it.

Hey thanks Daisygirl. Perhaps your brother needs to belong to a forum like this one, I know the short time I have been a member has opened my eyes to aspects of myself, some which need changing but mostly my new friends have also given me insight into some pretty good things about myself - THANKYOU.

Hi Pam and DebShines, I think we are made out of the same mold. I'm usually the one who tries to keep up family and friend ties. I don't get it. My mom, who is 85 years old, has so many friends. Many are still from school and her childhood. She still goes to class reunions. I hardly have any contact to my school friends. Maybe the older people valued their time together more. Nowadays I think people are so caught up in the present, they forget their friends from the past. I've tried to find some of the friends from my street where I grew up, but no luck.
I think this quote says it all:
Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.
-- Scandinavian Proverb

Hannelore, I love that quote. Thanks for sharing it.

I'm another one who always keeps getting family and friends together. I have a groups of girlfriends that I've known since first grade and we still attempt getting together monthly. This month, we're letting the hhusbnads in on the fun. That's a rare occasion, but we should do it more often because the guys all get along too.

Anyway, there are people in my family that I call until the very last day to see if they are coming because I want them to know how much I wnat them there. I do the same with very good friends too, but I wouldn't do it with cousins, or people I might not see as often. Not RSVPing is rude, but I certainly have people in my life that I know will rarely RSVP so I hang in there with them.

Why can't some people make decisions about whether or not they will attend? It's as though soemthing better might come along?

Boy what a trueism that quote is Hannelore...When my mom passes, half if not the entire town will turn out, she still has all her school chums and old neighbors from when I was a little kid. She seems to keep in touch with them all. If I died I'm not sure anyone but my son and this family would be there but then I've moved around alot and the curse of us that do that is loosing friends, neighbors and relatives. We become a single entity, alone and not truly known by anyone....wouldn't you agree?

Yeah, Chatty Lady, we too have moved around a lot and you do become a single entity. It does give you the opportunity to make new friends but it seems to me that a lot of souls are comfortable with their groups and don't go out of their zones when new people are in town. Having said that, we have a few close friends in every port where we have lived and I ensure we keep in touch via the net or letters. When we had smaller children it was easier to meet people associalted with school etc. Now the children are bigger it is more difficult to meet people when we move. you might be surprised at the number of people who would turn up at your funeral. When my Dad passed away, a man to whom Dad had been best man at his wedding turned up. They had not seen each other for 40 years and the man only found out about Dad through the death notice in the paper. What a shame that they had not kept in touch, what is the point of showing your feelings to a dead person. I mean it was touching to us, but would have been better if they had kept in touch while alive to enjoy each others company.

Gee DebShines, I thought people clicking together like that happened only in Germany. I was so surprised to read that you experience the same in Australia. Hmm guess people are pretty much alike around the world. How true; what a waste to visit someone at his funeral. What a waste.
I find I have more in common with younger people. Maybe I'm a late bloomer, ha ha. It just seems they are often easier to get to know. They don't hesitate to invite a "Newbie"..People from my age group are more careful, or whatever.
Chatty, no way can I imagine you as a single entity. I read your daily itinerary…you lead such an active life. Wish we were neighbors…I'd probably bug you with my visits…and I don't care if your dogs sleep on the couch.