I've written a short story or two about mine, but not a book.
Louisa

I was legally separated from my husband of 41 years on June 27th.
I did the legal separtion so I could still receive the ex's insurance even tho' I'm paying for my half.
He works for the State and you have to make special arrangements if you divorce which are a pain the arse!
I receive half of his retirement, the insurance payment is taken out of that.
Works for me!!!
Lynne
PS I worked with insurance companies for many years telling them to pay the bills for their consumers, and if they had their way, they'd want a law that would immediately delete the ex wife (or husband) from any coverage with the insurance company.

Lynne, sounds like a pretty good deal. How are you coping these days and adjusting to living alone? Mind sharing?

Thanks for asking Dotsie.
I'm doing better than I thought I would.
I get a lonely feeling that is hard to explain.
My ex was never home and I never felt lonely.
But I think this has to do with the fact I know I'm the one who has to make sure everything is in line for my future, and that's tough.

My house sold, and we will be closing August 4th.

I'm renting a new condo and I love it.
Renting because I need to know what it's like to be out in the big bad world because I married at 18.

According to my Financial Advisor I'm going to be just fine.

I'm kinda floating not knowing what my goal is right now.
I've always been a person who's had a goal, and has always met it.
That's when the lonely feelings start.

I do plan on meeting a dear friend(my bridesmaid)in my hometown of Eureka, California for my 60th birthday.
I will fly down, and she will drive up from Sacramento, California.
We plan on looking up old classmates, doing some sight seeing,(I haven't been there in years)and then driving down to her place in Sacramento.
I will spend a few days with her.

I will be doing this in October, so it won't be so HOT!!

Don't ever believe that it rains in the Pacific Northwest all the time!!
We're breaking records every day, and I'm not enjoying it.
If I do decide to buy a home, I will have A/C installed.

I know there are a lot of NW people out there that think that is silly, but after the nite I had last nite, I will get A/C!!!

Everyday is a new day for me, and like my saying says, those big girl panties elastic is getting mighty loose.
I'm pulling on them a lot lately!!!

Lynne

Sweetie it gets easier and easier and this is one time when time does actually heal. Glad to hear you aren't sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and you're making plans. Heres hoping you have a ball. There will be good days and bad days and thats to be expected.

I've never lived anywhere that you didn't need A/C. Amazing.

It sounds to me like you have planned very carefully and will be fine. Just know many of us know how you feel.

Lynne, you're probably thinking...she asks and then she disappears. This is one of those posts that I made a long reply to, then it got lost when the forums were down.

What your financila planner shared with you should give you a little peace. I know it isn't all about the money, but knowing you are in good shape financially lifts a burden.

We are facing the empty nest. I know, nothing like getting divorced, but it is a transition. we have been told by others who have lived successfully through it to make plans to dosomething out of the ordinary each month. That way you always have soemthing to look forward to.

Lynne, I think this would be good advice for you too. Glad to see you are heading to California to visit a girlfriend. Sounds like a perfect plan!

Someone equated separation versus divorce the other night in Church with a "s--t or get off the pot senario." I had to laugh!

In my state you must be separated for one (1) year b/4 filing for divorce. Separation and divorce are two separate actions and most divorces are not very amicable due to child custody and financial issues. Thus, a divorce could drag on for years.

If one (or both) divorcing spouse is a government employee (State, Federal, County, Military, etc.) benefits may be carried on after the divorce (however w/ military must meet the 10/20 rule and they expire should the recieving spouse remarries, if at all). This is usually incorporated with the Final Decree of Divorce as a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), which also must be reviewed and approved by the administrator (government agency) b/4 presented to the Family Court.