Lola, I've heard of this happening and I'm not sure where I stand on it. On the one hand, if God had a calling for him to be a priest, then I would want my husband to do that. But then again, if he took vows with me first, then doesn't God expect him to honor those first? It's a tough call, for sure, and one I'm sure I'll never have to make!! I'm not judging either one of you, it just makes me ponder... I guess your husband was given the green light by the church,
and I do believe that whatever the church binds on earth is bound in heaven, and whatever it releases on earthe is released in heaven, so I'd say it was ok.
Sorry if it broke your heart, though. I'll pray that God is opening that window for you! Maybe your true soul mate is searching for you.
((HUGS))

Gosh, some heavy stories here.

I think some men feel marriage means the two of you are joined at the hip but to many, that means he goes where he wants and you are drug along by that hip!

Is he trying to relive his childhood or something? Is his family still living in Alabama?

I've always said I could live just about anywhere (except Gallup, NM) but not if I was unhappy with my spouse. That could be double agony.

Exactly what I meant about the choice between temporal and spiritual. The rationale I took was that a vocation to serve God within the priesthood would always be far greater than the vows he made to me. When God called, I could only submit.

I have found my soul mate in my husband and I don't think I'll ever find someone like him again. We correspond so it is not as if I have lost him completely. The relationship is not as husband and wife but an amiable one. We have been blessed with good children and lovely grandchildren... all are mirror of facets of our married life which we will continue to have regardless of change in status or form. I am not as lonesome as in the first few months. I am busy all the time and for the moments I am not...miracles happen.

Kate....I'm so sorry for your sadness and unhappiness in your marriage. Marriage is alot of work and sometimes a person just gets tired....on both of their ends. You get tired of struggling at everything! But I think everyone comes to a crossroads in their marriage at sometime or another, especially if they have been married for many years. All those annoying habits that you ignored or overlooked in the earilier years of marriage become magnified in the later years. One has to give pause and really remember why you got married in the first place. You just wanted to be together...a commitment. I have been married nearly 30 years....some years were tough. I moved several times with my husband's job promotions leaving family, friends, and jobs. But with the negative things about moving, also came postive things too. I agree with Bluebird's response on many levels. We aren't the same people now (and thank-goodness) as we were when we were young married couples. Hopefully, we grow together and not apart. I wish there was some kind of compromise for you and your husband. You have a tough decision and some deep soul searching to do. Take the time to do it. I wish you peace and happiness in whatever your decision maybe.

My heart aches when I see people who are so unhappy in a marriage. On the one hand, everyone deserves some happiness in life; on the other hand, marriage is a commitment.

I strongly believe that it takes both partners to make a marriage work - and it is work. However, there are times when a marriage will dissolve in spite of both partners' best efforts. And in some marriages, it is one partner who is working hard to keep it going while the other partner does nothing or sees no reason to change.

I think that each person has to decide for her/himself what is best.