thank you all! I came away highly flattered that I was accepted "hands down" into the program. I got to perform A Touch of Gods Hand in a cathedral (where the auditions were held)...what a thrill! This was the song sang at my late husbands wake....our children accompanied me.

After a night sleep, and a drive around, though, I'm 95% sure I will not move here. First (and maybe foremost) is the fact that the cost of living is more than I can do. If it was just me, without the kids, it would be different.

So as much as I would love to have the degree and experience of playing that level of music, I cannot justify the financial risk to the family. Somewhat breaks my heart...still, the honor to have come this far with it has been a journey of waking up...to plough forward...proof to myself that all things *are* possible.

Blessings,
marla

MArla, that's okay. Maybe it will be in your future. You have to do what is best for your family.

Accept it as the boost it was meant to be! Congrats. You've got to feel good about yourself.

Marla,
Maybe you could look around for a sponsor of some kind. Seems like most scholarships are for young people, but there must be someone who would help you.

Maybe you could take a detour or a sabbatical. But don't give up. Maybe you could do it with distance learning or something.

If you are talented enough to make it this far, there has to be a way.

smile

Marla,
That's so exciting! If you can find a way to make it happen, fantastic. If not, the boost to your self-confidence is staggering and wonderful. At this time in your life, you need the kudos, the boosts, the strokes. You need to hear, that on your own, as as individual, you're respected, admired and trusted with such a post. It's so easy to get wrapped up in your husband's identity and forget you have one of your own.

So congratulations!

I think holidays like Easter and Christmas are the hardest for we widows. So many couples at the church services looking all smiling and happy together. They may not be and may hate one another but its hard to tell when they both have their "in public" faces on. One woman I had just met said to me, " you and your husband come over tomorrow, we always have a big bar-be-que." When I said that I was single she looked at me like I just announced I have Leprosy. I then said, sorry and thanks but I can't make it and she looked relieved....

[ April 15, 2006, 08:11 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Oh chatty - that was so cruel of her. I'm sorry you had to experience that -- especially at church!!

Sometimes things just aren't what they are supposed to be are they <shaking head>

It seems I meet right in church, the most people who display the least Christian tendencies. Go figure!!! Like I would be a threat to anyones marriage....I think NOT!!!

Chatty, what's up with that? DId she think you were with someone at the time?

Remember, churches are not museums for saints. They are hospitals for sinners.

It doesn't matter if you are a widow, or single through divorce or by choice. Some people just can't handle having a single person in the group. Sometimes I wonder if that is why some women jump into poor relationships to avoid having situations like Chatty faced yesterday. If you're not comfortable by yourself it can really rattle you.

I hope you are feeling better today Chatty.

Hey not a problem. She sees me with the same group of people weekly and I think she may have thought I was married to one of these men I'm friends with. She and her husband are beautiful people with perfect children and house etc. and they entertain alot but some say she is terribly jealous if her hubby even speaks to one of the dammed (single people, LOL) I had to laugh to myself that any woman still found me a possible threat to their young husband. I am so comfortable with just being me I felt no hurt feelings but can see how someone else may have been hurt by her ungraciousness. Believe me I've dealt with her type all my life when I may have actually been a threat....

[ April 17, 2006, 07:38 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]