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#81307 - 02/02/06 12:39 AM Had one for about 5 years now
mammajude Offline
Member

Registered: 01/04/05
Posts: 102
Loc: San Diego, Ca
Our nest has been empty for about 5 years or so. It was really hard for me at first. Even though my youngest daughter wasn't home much toward the last years she was there. I went from cooking for more than two to just two of us. That was an adjustment as well. I really miss my kids but enjoy my freedom now. I had kids with me at home since I was 16 so its my time to enjoy myself.. supposedly but now I'm dealing with my husband not working..etc.It never ends....

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#81308 - 02/02/06 03:26 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Saw a T-shirt the other night that read:

Someone help me, my husband is retiring without a hobby!

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#81309 - 02/02/06 03:31 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I totally get that!! Mine didn't work for a whole year and had no hobbies. I'm really a pacifist but oh, did I want to kill him!!

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#81310 - 02/09/06 09:20 PM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
My Husband's hobby is HIS JOB!!!...seriously...all the man likes to do is work...I am beginning to REALLY worry about what will happen when he retires...how do you force someone to find a hobby?

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#81311 - 02/10/06 03:18 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
AvlonBlondi, you never FORCE anyone to do anything. That is the beginning of a disaster. You cajoll, you suggest, you explore, you teasomgly taunt him and hopefully he may find something he enjoys doing. My problem was my ex when looking for a hobby always wanted something we could do together....I just was hoping to get him out from under foot once in awhile....Guess I finally did. [Wink] [Big Grin] [Razz]

[ February 09, 2006, 07:20 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

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#81312 - 02/10/06 03:46 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Mine took a year off and got weird. Wasn't the same man. And, he wanted me to fix him lunch every day. I don't even fix myself lunch!

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#81313 - 02/10/06 04:05 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Dianne that's what happened to mine! He was off for a year and I was really beginning to think he was the nutty one (all these years I though it was me). I felt like he was watching my every move. AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

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#81314 - 02/10/06 04:08 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
Trust me Chatty...I've had 30 years of trying to suggest and entice etc etc...the man is just all work and no play unless he's on vacation...and even then ...it's a stretch...trying to get him to relax...I figure we're about 10 or 12 years away from retirement...so I have a little time...but the whole idea of having him around all the time scares me a little...I remember how difficult it was for my Mother when Daddy retired...and he at least played golf...when my husband is home ...he starts everything with.."What are WE going to do today...what shall WE have for breakfast .."I love him with all of my heart...still...I enjoy doing my own thing during the day..with my girlfriends, my daughters...does all of that come to a grinding halt when he retires?...I have heard so many ladies say exactly what Dianne said...they get
"weird"...OMG...something new to worry about now...

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#81315 - 02/10/06 04:10 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
Maybe I should take the Scarlett O'Hara approach..you know..."I can't think about that today...I shal think about it tomorrow..."
[Big Grin] [Wink]

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#81316 - 02/10/06 04:16 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
When I try teasing, enticing and cajoling, he gets interested all right, but not in a hobby. Well, not the usual kind of hobby anyway.

smile

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#81317 - 02/10/06 04:24 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
[Big Grin] [Big Grin]
Sounds like mine.

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#81318 - 02/10/06 05:56 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
hahahaha...you girls crack me up....

and you are right about about the other part too...my biggest worry I guess is that I'M going to become his hobby....perish that thought!! [Big Grin] [Wink]

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#81319 - 02/10/06 08:10 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
Ever since I married DH, we've had an empty nest, as his kids were grown and gone already.

Thankfully, we both have way too many interests so we both stay busy. We really earn out early-to-bed habit!

He golfs, welds, builds stuff, creates websites and webmasters.

I read, do crosswords, cook, bake, belong to local home extension clubs at local and county levels.

We both play Cribbage, watch movies, visit his kids, garden,do home improvements, love on our five dogs, make soap, shop at Lowes (LOL!!)He tells everyone he has become a professional Lowes shopper and has a GREAT eye for their yellow clearance tags!!!!

May I make a suggestion? If you had children, what kinds of things did you do before that?

[ February 10, 2006, 12:52 AM: Message edited by: Di ]

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#81320 - 02/10/06 06:50 PM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
I hear you Di...and I know what you are saying...the thing is..my husband and I have plenty of common interests and have a pretty active social life together...and I , on my own, have girlfriends and volunteer work, and love to garden, cook, read, sew etc etc..the problem is that when my husband is not working or with me doing something that I have planned he is clueless as to how to pass the time...last year he was home for 3 weeks with a slight back injury...one day during the second week I made him a nice breakfast and set him up with the newspapers and headed out to have my nails done and grab a quick lunch with my girlfriend...the man called me 13 times in the space of 2 hours and 15 minutes...don't get me wrong here...I am crazy about this man...but I don't want to become his siamese twin after he retires...I like to do separate girl things...and I am just dying for him to find some boy things to do...I have a few years to play with before this happens...so hopefully he'll mellow out a little and learn to chill out.. [Smile] Thanks for letting me vent here [Smile]

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#81321 - 02/10/06 07:30 PM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Blondi, if he only relaxes when he travels, I guess you'll have to travel all the time when he retires. Not so bad...

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#81322 - 02/11/06 01:43 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
Hahahaha....we'll have to win the lottery first.... [Smile] Also...I gained 4 lbs last week while we were in Aruba!!!! I'd look like the broad side of a barn if we did that all the time.. [Big Grin] Nice fantasy though Dots...thanks for the suggestion!!!

[ February 10, 2006, 05:57 PM: Message edited by: AvalonBlondi ]

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#81323 - 02/11/06 04:57 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Ever notice how the women with frisky husbands wish they weren't and those who husbands all but dead frisky wise, wish they were frisky. Then there are the porno kings....seems no one is ever really content, [Wink] and thats life!!!

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#81324 - 02/11/06 05:01 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Life is so unbalanced!!

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#81325 - 02/12/06 02:34 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Bluebird, I am forever telling my kids that life is all about balance.

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#81326 - 02/12/06 02:38 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Balance is a big thing for me. I don't understand why everyone doesn't strive for it.

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#81327 - 02/12/06 03:21 AM Re: Had one for about 5 years now
NHJackie Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
I don't think everyone has figured out what balance is and how to achieve it. You can't really strive for something you don't understand how to achieve.

Does that makie sense to anyone else?

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