Returning to full time work at age 42 as a single mother (I'm now 50) has been a tough road. Even though the ex paid his court ordered support, 4 of us were forced to live on (with my salary) less than half of what had previously supported 5 of us. Needless to say, with high school and college and the cost of living in New Jersey, I've remortgaged my house to the hilt and have very little in the way of retirement funds. The reality is, I'll never be able to retire in what I considered the traditional way. When I hear my ex bought a condo in Florida, and is retiring there with his new live-in in two years, it just makes me sad. So, now, I'm trying to do those things (whatever I can afford) I put off to raise the kids, while still having to work full time and carrying a whole lot of debt. boy, now I know what my father meant when he said he was worth more dead than alive - that may be the only way it gets paid off! Has anyone else suddenly realized that retirement will not be an option?

You betcha. We're in exactly the same boat.

Lots of debt, no assets, no retirement, kids in college. We'll never be able to quit working. However my husband's company has a 5 million dollar life insurance policy on him......

That's how we ended up living overseas. A job opportunity that was: US tax exempt, free housing, no car, no electric bills, no property taxes. But now we're stuck. We'll be shuffling between foreign countries for I expect, at least the next 10 years. We absolutely CANNOT afford to return to America and start all over again--with nothing. We'll be missing our kids, our grandkids, our families; traipsing around in various countries where we don't speak the language and have only half a clue what is going on.

I worry too how my kids are going to survive in an America where it's so hard to make enough money to make ends meet, benefits are becoming fewer and fewer, and employers give you the boot because your job skills are obsolete every couple of years and so much work is being *outsourced*.

I find it all very frightening.

No debt here, but not much income either, so there really aren't any extras. I doubt I'll ever have the funds to retire.

I'm so glad to hear that I am not the only one feeling this way, fearing the future. I also don't see how I will avoid working until I die. I am facing divorce after 24 years. I have worked of and on, but not as the bread winner. I have no health insurance, no company benefits, no retirement, no savings. We had just bought the house so there's no equity when we get it sold. I will be forced to rent somewhere which means money just flying out the window into someone else's pocket. I'm 49. I never went to college, and don't have the funds or time to start now. I am working 7 days a week just to squeek by. Unfortunately, I make too much to get food stamps or any other aid....I fall 'in between' everything and I don't know how I will ever recoop from this divorce. I am looking at work from home opportunities but haven't found any that are legitimate. I have a book I wrote with an agent. I am praying that writing will be an avenue of extra income for me. This certainly isn't the life I dreamed of before I got married....

I have been teaching for the last 21 years, now at 58, I am desperatly thinking of retirement.However, not because I do not like my job, but for fear that i will not be able to enjoy the retirement years of doing what i want, when i want it. Traveling, arts and crafts, tai chi, languages, so many places to go,people to meet, and wonderful things i do not even know...
Since June 2002,I have been fight the probeta/Guardianship circuit for the right to be my mother's legal Guardian (please read, Forced guardianship, Miami-Dade Florida), the things I have seen at the nursing homes where she has been forced to stay, and the things I know now the judges can do, under "their discretion" makes it a lawless land of the not so free. I want to move out of the United States, I am afraid that I may find in the same situation mother is in, and that I may not have someone to fight, like I am fighting for her. All I want is to provide her with some dignity, and love. Nobody should die alone, in a cold away from home institution, unless they do not have any choice. Yes, I too have looked into these wonderful retirement communities, but I now have it cleared, money does not save you from becoming a victim of the Guardianship system; instead, it makes you a target...

starting over, congratulations on the book writing! i hope and pray it provides you with the financial security you need.

we, too, are in a big crunch when it comes to retirement. when we sold our dairy herd 2 years ago, the loan officer at our credit union tried to put us out of business altogether. we still raise cash crops and cattle. we are still trying to recover from the damage he did. add that to the fact that the overall atmosphere in farming has become very discouraging for the average family farmer. expenses have skyrocketed while prices for what we produce continue to fall.

we also absorbed a lot of my father-in-law's expenses while trying to get him out of the farm and covered our son's debts trying to get him into farming. talk about the sandwich generation!

my inlaws refused to do any forward planning in regards to the farm so now we have to deal with sister-in-law, too. we had to take out expensive life insurance on my inlaws to enable us to keep the farm in the family for our sons to continue to work. all of this could have been avoided if they had done the planning they should have done 20 years ago.

it is so frustrating to have worked very hard for so many years and now we feel like we're starting over. i am starting a web based business, dh is selling bull semen and we are constantly searching for another way to make a buck.

i know we are not alone, that these problems are found everywhere but that doesn't take away the frustration of it all.

I'm right there with you, ladies,

Staying at home with NIchole, I neither had nor have medical insurance for myself, no life ins, retirement nor savings. I, too will work til I drop. But hey, what else would I be doing? I don't golf~~~~! My father retired early from a teaching career at age 55, sold their house, and built a nicer, bigger one on Kentucky Lake, where they spent their retirement...('course he always worked building houses and such during summers), but here I am, at nearly 59 and haven't even gotten started on my career!!! Oh well, lots of people started blooming at 60 or later!!!!!!

Maritza, that's a hard place to be in. There is no type of intstitutional setting that can replace home. If you are thinking of early retirement, is there any way through social services, that you could bring your parents home, then have people to come in and help? My friend did this with her son, and the state provided the in-home care expenses rather than pay the exhorbitant intstitutional prices. You have to dig a little, because they don't want the general public knowing they provide this service, I believe because of the trouble they have monitoring the service provided and also, it puts other people outof a job. Good luck to you!

How are you friend, Flipper? Sounds like you're having your fair share of trouble - as if you already haven't! What web business are you getting into? Bull semen, now that sounds like a fun job!!! Good grief! Those must be some good-lookin' bulls! Say - how 'bout getting them into show biz - the cheese industry in Cal. must be making a fortune on their commercials !!!@#@!

Oh yeah....you could have casting calls for bulls in the greater Minot area and become bull-agents for the all the movies they make!

Searcher,
Does cheese comes from bulls? Hmmm. Maybe the cheese commercial folks need some sex ed.

smile

LOL Smile,

Well, in the commercials, the bulls are talking to the lady cows about marriage and such over the fence. They're really funny. In some, these cows live in Mn. and talk like Minnesotans - when one cow decides to walk to California....Then in another, bulls in California are talking to the cows about playing on their football team....if you catch one of these , you'll laugh. The whole thing is about Happy Cows making good cheese because they live in a better climate!

Or probably they live in Wisconsin, but have that same accent....

I enjoy the commericals everytime they come on...accent and all.

Really funny aren't they? What genius thought of them, I wonder.

Say, one time my Sam thought of this great commercial. 'member when the commercials were about snickers bars and there was always some bad event which caused people to need a snickers bar? Well, Sammy thought: A car driving along a North Dakota highway under blizzard conditions- the car slides off the road - pan to driver , happily driving along but nervous about the weather - then slides off the road into a ditch. Looks up and around, to observe the snow plow coming along at record speed and buries him in the snow. Driver looks terrified, and then realizes that he's ok. Opens the glove compartment and out falls 10 snickers bars!!! Cute, huh?

No retirement here either. Nor health/life insurance. Thankfully no debt except for house and utilities which are WAY too expensive! In fact, DH just cashed in on his retirement so then what? We are needing it to do much-needed home projects that could not be let go any longer...like septic tank, gas lines that leak etc. The house seems to be falling apart since we moved here 10 years ago. Plus, need money to live. My soap business had better start increasing or I'll have to resort to working for someone "out there". ICKY!!

We will only get to live on soc sec. when we reach that age. (DH 55, me 48 now)Where IS that rich aunt??

Hi everyone,

I hope you don't mind me poking my head in here and putting in my two cents.

Many, many people are facing the question about finances after retirement.

Newsweek (oct 2003) stated that 50% of the working population will be involved in a home-based business of some sort by the end of 2005.

These people are looking for tax advantages, a flexible schedule, and money for retirement.

It is NOT too late for you to be able to build a nest egg for retirement.

Network marketing is the home-based business model that is projected to be the "wave of the future".

This means of having a "personal franchise" is being encouraged by such rich men as Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad, Poor Dad). Here are some comments that are on the back of his book about NWM (The Business School for People who Like Helping People)

Robert explains that building a network marketing business..

..is a revolutionary way to acheive wealth.
..makes it possible for anyone to acquire great wealth.
..is open to anyone who has drive, determination, and perseverance.

"Because I did not gain my fortune from building a network marketing business, I can be a bit more objective about the industry. This book describes what I see are the real values of a network marketing business - values that go beyond just the potential of making a lot of money. I finally found a business with a heart." Robert Kiyosaki

It does not have the stigma of the past.....and in 5 years, most people can build a pretty strong income. A PIG income (Perputal Income Generator) (money continues to grow)

Just food for thought. I believe in the industry with every ounce of my being. I have seen 6 friends personally grow businesses that would blow your mind. They will not have to worry about retirement.

If any of you are interested in finding out more -I would be happy to suggest some books and websites.

There ARE options out there - just wanted to share one with you.

Danita

Danita, I would appreciate your sharing some web sites about this. You must think I'm a 'dead-beat" - we still haven't met for Scrabble, and I've spent a lot of time reading the info you sent me - I am in limbo right now not knowing whether we will stay here or move back to CO - but I'd sure love to do something to bring in some income. We're ok for now, but I don't feel we have enough stashed away for retirement purposes. What a dilemma!

Dreamer,

I have had no such thoughts about you! I think the ball was last in my court to get you a yahoo ID. I have been sooooo busy!

Here are a couple of resources:

1. Start with http://www.dsa.org

This is an organization that "professional" network marketing and direct sales companies belong to.

2. Listen to this presentation online, done by Don Failla, author of the 45 second presentation. This is a 50 minute interview VERY worth listening to!:

http://achieveradio.com/showpages/achievers.htm :
**You will have to scroll down to the 8-11-05 interview with Don and Nancy Failla.

Statistics show that the health and wellness industry is projected to be the next TRILLION dollar industry, and that products will be distributed via network marketing v.s. traditional marketing.

If I were looking to join a NWM company - I would want it to be a consumable, daily use product that supports the health and wellness boom.

D.

p.s. other "audio broadcasts" on the above link that are very good:

Shad Helmstetter - Self Talk
Michael Clouse - network marketing

Arbonne success stories:

Donna Johnson
Cindy Pipkin
Deborah Brewer
Rachele Nichols

[ February 21, 2006, 02:22 PM: Message edited by: Danita ]

Don't want to cover this important thread topic but since we're talking bull, have to share this story...

When my son Darick was about 4, he decided that since he had a penis and his sister didn't, he had the power. During that little stage (his sister eventually shot holes in his theory) he had a fascination with the bulls in the pen by the barn. He started sitting on the fence and hanging around a little too close to those big animals.

He kept going back no matter what I said, so one day I stood him by the fence and told him to look at the rear end of the belly of a big bull that was about eye-level to him. I told him that this was where the bull's penis was. Just at that moment, the bull decided it was time for show and tell and gave quite a good show.

Darick, having already decided that 'penis is power', stared at the bull's moving performance and apparently figured that the bull had entirely too much power! He started to shake and cry, then turned and ran as fast as he could away from the fence crying, "I want my Daddy!" I never caught him hanging around the bulls again.

[ February 22, 2006, 04:16 AM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]

Danita, thank you so much for all the good information. I can't wait to get home from "work" (it's really 'dead' in the tax office so far today) to dig into them!

Dreamer

Flipper,
I can't help but laugh at your bull stories (A.K.A. BS.) Reminds me of my growing up. We had a farm and ranch operation and Daddy gave the funniest names to all the animals.

I can never remember them except one. His favorite cow had a prolapsed uterus that hung out of her private parts (if cows have private parts) making her look almost like a bull. It kind of flopped when she walked so Daddy named her 'floppy cock.'

Despite her 'problem,' She lived and gave milk forever.

I really admire those who stay on the farm to 'feed the world's hungry.' I'm sure it's not easy, but you and your family are doing a great thing.

Thank you.

smile

[ February 22, 2006, 06:28 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Smile, I love the name your dad gave his cow - I can just see it as I've seen some pretty wierd things over the years and thats no bull! (B.S. does run thick around here at times, though.)

Thank you for your farmer appreciation. It warms my heart because we don't get a lot of that.

[ February 22, 2006, 09:46 PM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]

I read an interesting artticle that could be great for the farmers, and about time too. It stated that if we turn to "corn" for energy they won't be able to plant and harcest enough of the stuff...Now if the powers that be just don't find a way to line their own pockets and stiff the farmers some might actually make some real money and won't that be wonderful.....Well as you know I love and foster all kinds of animals but never a cow or a bull, think I'd need a bigger house, LOL.

[ February 22, 2006, 11:15 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Chatty, you definitely don't want a cow or bull in ANY size house - talk about B.S.! We do have a calf for you, though - a preemie born this week weighing in at about 20 pounds. I haven't been to the barn but dh says he is a real cutie - appears to be fully developed but the size of a small dog. Mama doesn't want him so dh is bottle feeding. We might give it to the neighbor kids as hubby doesn't want to devote the time it takes for a preemie and the kids and their dad love to do all the extra tlc.

We are hearing a lot about corn for fuel and other uses, but the technology is slow. We were supposed to get an ehtanol plant but the European investers backed out so they are back to square one with financial backing. In the mean time, my son's corn crop stays in the bin because none of the local elevators will take it, even for feed. Frustrating!

[ February 23, 2006, 12:54 AM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]

That your son has unsaleable corn is simply heart breaking flipper. Especially when somewhere in the world people are starving.

If storage becomes too expensive, he might donate it to Feed the Children. You probably know, but Larry Jones founded that organization because farmers were paying to store crops that they couldn't sell. He got truckers who would haul them to a central point for distribution to hungry children in foreign countries. It is now the largest charity of its kind in America.

Before things reach that point though, I think we need to start a boomer prayer chain for your family and your farm. I'm starting it right now with a prayer for blessings beyond anything you can imagine.

smile

Smile, I can't tell you how much those prayers mean to me. I know farmers have a reputaion for complaining so I hesitate to say just how difficult it really is. We have had one crisis after the other in the last few years so the stress level has taken a huge toll on all of us. Thank God for a few miracles thrown into the mix or I would truly be ready for a straight jacket.
THANK YOU FOR CARING!!!!!

Thanks, too, for reminding me about Feed the Children. I am starting a web business that will educate people about farming. One thing we will be doing is giving 40 acres of crop sales to a food related charity so I will research Feed the Children for the list.

My hubby and I don't anticipate retirement either. I'm 56 and he's 54. Just don't see it as an option. Not enough money to live on.

Am having to contemplate going back to work to pay off the enormous medical bills I now have from two surgeries because we have no medical/health insurance. I think I am somewhere over $50,000.00 in debt from the surgeries. Need to find a way to pay for them.

The middle class is getting the squeeze and we are loosing fast here. I didn't realize so many of us this age were in the same boat or thoughts about not being able to retire.

Sandpiper

Flipperjo, Larry Jones is really quite a wonderful person and I believe his charity has been determined to spend less on administration and more on the recipients than about any other.

He is from farm country (possibly a farm family) so he understands farm issues. Feed the Children resulted from his observations of the heartbreak of farming juxtaposed with the tragedy of starvation.

Sandpiper, I think any of us could be wiped out by a major illness. Even with insurance, illness can be financially devastating. Health care is so far over priced, but we are all so dependent. Even a relatively minor surgery can cost tens or even hundreds of thousands.

Of course retirement without health would not be worthwhile.

I wish there was a solution, but I've not seen one yet. It seems the more the government gets involved, the worse it gets.

smile

[ February 24, 2006, 06:12 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

searcher; thank you for your advise, my dad died in the late 70's, mom was independent until she had a problem with her eyes, had treatment, and we decided that it would be best rather than going home that she would stay at a Rehab./Nursing Center on a temporary basis. I soon started to noticed buising and cuts,i complaint, then mom told me she had fallen, i asked they denied it,and so on, until i found her on the floor, mid day of a Sat.(i had left not long before, after helping her with her bath, hair, lunch, etc.) I made the mistake of telling the adm. that i was going to report them to the elder abuse hotline, she would not allowe me to use the phone, and in fact, by the time i made it home a couple of blocks away, she had called and filed a complaint against ME. long story short,it snowballed into guardianship court,boy, those judges and close atty. know who to do it...she was deemed incompetent- so that she could not speak on what she wanted,lost her home to pay the court appointed guardian and their attorneys, was court ordered to stay at the same place,lost her bilateral sight,and continued to be abuse. 5 months later of my letter writing and complaining to the court,the guardian and to a paid supervising person to ME as if I was a criminal; the judge ORder mother out of the same place i filed a complaint about- withing 24 hours. that was in 2002, i have continued to fight for her, was on tv, written myself to the bones, spend thousand of dollars... fast forward july 2005 i was appointed mother's guardian. they left her homeless, blind, stuck at a nursing home, as a medicaid patient. mother worked all her life, in fact, had a business. yes, i want to bring her home, the judge is covering her -because she knows i will not let go.Ck out 7 News Investigative report by Carmel Cafiero titled "Going For Broke"which air 02/04/05, i have the same judge who put the 80 year old woman in jail for 5 months...lots to tell, nobody listens....thank you for doing so, maritza

IMO, the traditional meaning of retirement is going to change, first of all in the fact that many people will either choose to/or have to keep working in some capacity, and second, for those who do have the money to not have to work, it will be more active and a whole lot less of the old stereotype of someone getting bored out of their tree around the house, or playing shuffleboard somewhere. If the "retirees" are in reasonably good health, they will most likely be travelling, continuing their by-now-solidly-established physical fitness routines as appropriate for their bodies, or starting up a small business/consultancy of some sort if they haven't already done so. But for those who DON'T have boatloads of money(not even close), we will have to exact some sort of income until the day we drop. That doesn't have to be all bad, however, especially if one can find some mode of being self-employed. Computers are great for this!
As for myself, I have a saying, "Artists never retire - they just might change media!" meaning that age should never have anything to do with doing artistic activity. Many artists work until their eyesight fails them altogether, well into their late 80's, 90's, etc.
My husband started collecting SS two years ago, but he picks up jobs here and there. We've basically lived on one part-time job for many years. We can do this as we live simply and there's an amazing amount of stuff that we DON'T spend money on. We never went for the whole nine yards as far as having the expensive house(we've never owned property of any sort), cars, clothing, etc., nor cared to, so simple living has been in our daily life for a very long time now, whereas there are many people who are only now starting to get the idea that it might be appropriate now to downshift, to allow for changing lifestyles and reducing overhead. Our health continues to be very good, which we hope will continue to be the case for a very long time. One big medical expense can wipe out the best-laid of plans. We have never had health insurance our whole lives - we instead instigated the DIY model which consists of very healthy living.

Well I am suppose to be retired since quiting my phone job...perish the thought!! This is my retirement schedule:

Monday ...
work in Mystic Publishers office days and Henderson Writers club at night.

Tuesday ...
water aerobics, run all errands, hair, groceries, clean the house, do laundry.

Wednesday ...
Water aerobics and back to Mystic Publishers office.

Thursday ...
water aerobics and to the Nursing home to cook a meal and interact with the residents, singing, art, reading aloud whatever!

Friday ...
back to Mystic Publishers office, post office mailing off manuscripts.

Saturday ...
animal shelter for loving all and cleaning up the animals. Dinner with friends (maybe)

Sunday ...
Church and if lucky a visit with my sons family.

**Every night until about midnight I am editing manuscripts in my home office...I also get on line with BWS, NABBW and others sites every chance I get...
I also get called at all hours to pick up strays or abused, confiscated animals to foster.
Okay, so when does my "retirement" kick in, or is this all she wrote, geesh!!!

[ June 12, 2006, 09:04 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Chatty...you are an inspiration to us all..I wish I had half of your energy... ...and I am still so jealous that you get to do water aerobics all year long..

I quit water aerobocs in the winter months sweetie because although not really that cold I don't want to take a chance getting out of the heated pool and catching a chill. Already had the pneumonia scare a few years back, so sick, yuk....Do do the hot tub thats inside the building however.

[ June 14, 2006, 09:33 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Good thinking Chatty....that hot tub sounds very inviting..

I AM 34 AND HAVE NO SAVED RETIREMENT YET! THIS IS ALSO SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT AND FIND VERY SCARY. THAT IS WHY I BECAME AN INDEPENDENT CONSULTANT WITH A NETWORK MARKETING COMPANY FOR EXTRA INCOME. IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED PLEASE E-MAIL ME. I HOPE TO RETIRE EARLY WITH THIS OPPORTUNITY!
HEATHER

Just a thought, Anne. It depends on how bad your back pain is. Maybe you can find a job within a well-to do family, to take care of an elderly person. They may take over your retirement payments...and you have a family again.

Anne, you may want to do a google search for 'the secret' It has helped many of my friends and family. It's a DVD.