Ohhh Chickadee that is truly beautifully depicted.
I think my husbands behaviours were a cry for help, not to mention a nearly 50 year old man thing, although the red sports car would have been less hurtful to myself!! We had another reminder of the affair recently which coinicided with my Dads death. If things had happened differently then we may have actually seperated, but my husband was deeply supportive through Dads death. Recently, I was able to tell him that I was a lot stronger now, I was able to tell him that I had considered seperating (I would not have been strong enough to admit to this 2 years ago) and the outcome has been good. He is talking the talk and behaving like a truly committed husband. I have gone through the self talk, you know how can I stay with this man etc but it is all looking good lately. And I said in another thread that I believe this site has helped so thanks mates!!

Chick, are you a graphic artist? If not, you should be? Marvelous girlfriend!

Deb, I'm happy to hear your hubby is behaving. I saw a pice on an early morning news show this week that encouraged couples to stay in marriages unless there was abuse. I appreciated a positive message. I wish you all the best.

Don't you agree that sometimes when embroiled in a bad situation, we can't see the 'forrest for the trees' and it takes someone else, someone not involved to step back and see the forrest and then helpead us through it?...Friends Helping Friends.

I want to announce to the forum what a wonderful friend Chatty lady has been to me. She is the light beam that helped me see through the dark forest. I had some questions about my marriage. With just a few words she majically moved everything into place and helped me see through the forest. I'm so glad I discoved Boomer women and all the new friends, especially Chatty lady, who has helped change my marriage to the better.
I thank you, Chatty lady, from the bottom of my heart.
***Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.***
-- Gladys Bronwyn Stern

Hannelore, thanks so much for letting us in on your secret. And thanks chatty for always going out of your way to help another woman. May God return the goodness you give others through His grace.

Hannelore, enjoy that hubby of yours!

Yes, Dotsie, I am, and he's enjoying the new me.

I love Chatty too and always have. Sometimes, people don't want to hear the truth and often, it's not hearing it that keeps us bound to the old thoughts and ways. I'm glad everything is going so much better for you.

I have felt the same way about my rings - and have told my husband that I would put them back on when he asked me to marry him again. HE broke our vows - and I need him humbled enough to ask me back into his life.

I also understand the forgivenss v.s. forgetting thing. I am a VERY forgiving and gracious person, however, when trust has been broken there is an element that will never be the same again.

I went away this week fully trusting my husband, NOT worrying, and I got a phone call from my daughter at home - alerting me to a situation.

How could I EVER trust a man who continues to lie, manipulate, and make bad choices?

I have started going to a "co-dependancy" group - I would highly suggest that others who struggle with relationships check out a local group. I never realized that I was "co-dependant" but once things came to "light", I started to see how I was reacting to the insanity in my life.

D.

Never knew groups like that existed for relationships. America is so far ahead, in that respect, compared to Germany. Sounds like just the right thing to do. I'm sure it will give you the strength to make the right decisions.