Yes it is a very sad thing to see, thank goodness there are people like you Lynnie who care enough to volunteer to help. I have seen many women walk through the door of my Martial Arts studio when I taught, that had black eyes, twisted fingers, it was terrible, just turned my stomach. My book, No Going Back, though fiction touches on women finding their strength to get out, it isn't easy.
I think what Brenda did was very brave at least the man found out a lesson that day. If she hadn't of done what she did and everyone pitched in to help that poor woman, then she would have been brought to beleive that if everyone witnessing the abuse did nothing then it really was her fault, only causing her to be weaker and the abuser more confident. We can only do so much, the abused has to find their power.

We also need to teach our sons and daughters never to tolerate this behavior from anyone as soon as it starts.

Lynnie... not all of the 18 pumps were being pumped at the time. Out of the one's that were being used...no one bothered to help the girl.
I'm in an area that is very fast paced... more than not, people will not involve themselves, if it isn't a priority for them.
Sad to say....but true.

I'm sure all of those ladies at the center are grateful for your assistance.
Such a frightening time for them, not to mention the children.

You have my admiration.

It was just so sad when I had to go downstairs to the donation pantry for size 1 diapers. The woman fled with her infant and didn't even have a change of diapers. Most of the women say that they could take the abuse themselves, but when it comes to the men hurting the children, then they have to leave. And why do the women have to leave? Why don't these guys just go away? There were a few men who came to the agency yesterday who had been abused by women. One was an older man who had married a younger woman, and she took advantage of him and abused him terribly. He was only looking for a loving companion. What he got was a restraining order against her. I slept for 12 hours!

Lynnie, the work you do is amazing. I'm do grateful their are women like you in the world.

My husband's sister stayed with an abusive husband for years. He also physically abused her daughters (his step-daughters). She threw this man out of her house many times, but he always managed to charm his way back. And she dealt with his abuse of the girl with denial and rejection of her own children. This man died last year, and Chuck and I had to bite our tongues not to say we were relieved, since the rest of his family was as deep in denial as his sister.

I taught my kids from an early age that abusive behavior of any kind was never acceptable. When my daughter was in high school when one of her male classmates decided he had a right to put his hands anywhere he wanted on any girl who was passing. Laura told him that if he touched her or her friends inappropriately again, she would first break his fingers and then report his behavior to the administration. He never touched another girl like that -- at least in front of her. The fact that many of her classmates regraded this guy's behavior as funny was a sad commentary on our society.

I don't think the volunteer work is admirable or amazing. I think it is sadly necessary. I wish it was not necessary. I applaud girls like Laura who are able to confront inappropriate behavior rather than laughing it off. Harassment is not a joke, and it often is a stepping stone to see what he can get away with, and how far he can go.

I used to say the same thing when I was a volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center. I didn't mind doing it but wished it wasn't needed. Especially when I did post abortion counseling...

Blue, the thing is I love doing it. Like I explain in the prologue of my book, I spent over 20 years in the corporate environment, selling real estate and being a property manager. I felt so unfulfilled. I wanted to reach people, especially women, on a deeper level. I do that as a volunteer, and I feel fulfilled. Post abortion counseling...that's got to be tough.

[ January 05, 2006, 10:01 PM: Message edited by: Lynnie ]

I am just glad that verbal abuse is getting more attention. People used to minimize verbal abuse, as if it did not "hurt" like physical violence. But verbal abuse is damaging to the ego, empowerment, and self-esteem. I must confess that I learned too well from my family and my first husband what verbal abuse is. I had to go to counseling to un learn verbal abuse because I found my self saying terrible things to my current loving husband that I didn't mean to say that were repetitions of what I heard in childhood that were verbally abusive. For example, I made a dental appointment for my husband. When I got home from work, he told me that he had gone to the appointment. In fact, I did not see the complimentary toothbrush and toothpaste, so I knew he had not gone. When he admitted that he had blown it off, I said, "I hope you suffer." My hand flew to my mouth in shock that I had said that! It is something I heard many times in my childhood. It pains me just to admit that I said it, can you imagine the pain he must have felt to have heard it? Granted, he lied to me, but no lie deserves a retaliation like that.

Sometimes these things we feel are so awful just roll of the other persons back because they are not as good as we are nor do they feel the guilt when they hurt us as we do when we think we may have hurt them. Your husband behaved like a bad child and your words were like a slap on his insulent fanny. He probably needed to hear it too.