Planning is so crucial to leaving safely and prepared, not running in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on your back.

Smile, how did you eventually break it to him and what was his reaction?

The first and only Christmas with my ex was weird. He demanded that we lay all of our gifts under the tree so guests who visited could see them. A family custom for him I guess.

Of course, everytime he got upset with me, he'd take back all the gifts he bought me. It got to the point that I just told him to keep them forever, I didn't want them anymore.

He stole my wedding band from me so I took my key and went into his house while he was gone and stole it back. I sold it. I deserved something!

Your ring reminded me of my ex....

He was military and had to leave in Nov. for a oversea cruise.

He had just moved the (4) kids and I into a 120 year old house. You could lay in bed at night and literally see the stars. The only heat was a fireplace, & it was missing several bricks.

Small rickety fence lined the drive-way to the house.
Before leaving he tore the fence down and stacked it near the back door...so I would have firewood for winter.

He left without filing an allotment... (pay that goes to spouse while member is stationed overseas).

The twins were just babies, Josh 2 and Tracey 6.

Within a few weeks...funds were non-existent, I drove to town, and sold my wedding rings...
Those rings meant absolutely nothing at that point.

I received enough money to buy a goat. The twins had been diagnosed with milk allergies, the doctor recommended goat milk. I lived 1 1/2 hr. from the nearest commissary or grocery store.
The goat had to be milked morning and night, and she loved to try to ram and kick you.

Fence he left for winter firewood was gone in a night...thank goodness it was California and not as cold as it could have been.

I found work at the base in the dining hall...the chief, and fellow cooks provided me with enough food to cover till payday.

It didn't take long before a couple of the local service men showed up with truck loads of firewood for our fireplace.

Found myself working with the local ombudsman, who immediately reported him to his commanding officer. The following month I had the allotment he should have filed before leaving.

That was the turning point for me... any man who can't provide for his children isn't worth the time of day.

I kept my job and saved for the time I would be able to leave. It took longer than I predicated.

Gosh Brenda, what a horror story. But I love the ending. The compassion of others to do for you and your children that your husband should have done. The kindness of strangers.

Thanks for sharing your memory, although I'm sure it might be painful to remember.

That was only one of many horror stories I went through with him.

Funny...how one thing can jog your memory. Just mention of your wedding ring, brought it all back.

Thank God, for all the loving people he placed in my path then.

I'm thanking Him too, for helping you during this horrible time. I'm so glad you're okay now.

It seems that the holidays does bring out more of the evil in these abusers. Maybe because they have to be 'good boys' in front of so many family members that when alone all that pent up rage bursts forth, it was that way with my father towards my mom during the holidays....scary stuff too!!

I think the stress of spending money can also bring on violence. Just like when the welfare check or food stamps are running low toward the end of the month...the violence begins to increase. Actually, these guys or girls don't need an excuse--they're usually looking for one!

Excellent point, but as you have pointed out Dianne, it isn't only people who receive welfare checks and food stamps that abuse.

Years ago I worked at a department store at Christmas for the holiday season and a man and woman started fighting right there in the store!

Daisygirl

I still think its because they have to be sooo good in front of people during these holidays and the pretense is too much for them and they blow!!! Lack of money of course is no help but even the wealthy abuse....