Your daughter has made the bad choices with her life not you. She's an adult who needs to own up to those poor choices she made without blaming others for her mistakes.

You've been the best mother you can be to her. Now it's her turn to show you some love and respect as well. You need that just as much as she does.

Oh, gross, I think my husband has some sort of infatuation with my 23 yr. old daughter. He used to frequent the strip clubs and knows all the 'tricks' of the trade if you know what I mean.
She just started working at a restaurant that is frequented by his coworkers and one of them made a comment about how 'hot' the new waitress there is and my husband told the coworker, "That's my stepdaughter'. He has verbally bemoaned his belief that, as he put it, "I'll never have a 22 yr. old again...." How would that make you feel as his wife??
Last night he told me I was old and just needed to accept that I am a senior citizen. I told him that with exercise and weight loss I could easily look ten years younger. He laughed and said, "Yeah, if the person was blind maybe."
He says the 20 and 30 yr. olds on his route flirt with him all the time. He says if a woman or girl smiles and is friendly with him what they really want is sex. I think I have married a very sick man....what do you think?

Number5, that's verbal abuse. I think you're right to think his words and actions are sick.

And if you're a senior citizen, isn't he also?

Oh my, I despise that mentality in men. Sorry, but it is so degrading. Don't you think?

My thoughts exactly Dotsie. As for those younger girls wanting to have sex with him, that's very wishful thinking on his part. They're probably thinking, who is this horny, old goat, he's giving me the creeps with all that leering. That's what my beautiful, young daughter says when I point out how some old goat is leering at her.

Unless he's got the financial portfolio that Donald Trump has all he can do is look.

Number5, the next time you speak to your husband, ask him, "And just what do you want with an old, senior citizen like me, anyhow?"
I'd be curious as to his answer.
I haven't posted much on your topic on "I don't know what to do." I am praying for God to lead you in the right direction. I know that our words may or may not change your mind. I am, however, trusting that the point of no return will hit you and when it does, there'll be no turning back. Stay close to us. Please try to be on the outside looking in(your own window at your situation)as we are. It is difficult for us to know what you are experiencing. Some of us have been there, and we fear for your safety.
Love and Hugs
chick

I believe you answered your own question.
You deserve so much better.

I also think your husband is insecure and the aging issue is really about his OWN aging, not yours. Sometimes people like this feel good putting other people down because it makes him feel superior to you. Compassionate people cannot be abusers (my own opinion).

If he truly is an alcholic, which he seems to be then his "plumbing" isn't working too well either. He should really consider that those young girls smiling at him are probably just laughing at him.

[ January 18, 2006, 03:05 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

You're husband is a jerk, living in some unrealistic place in his feeble brain and you are the scapegoat for his own self loathing....Buy him a T-shirt that reads:

GEEZER - Imaginary stud muffin.

I agree with Ladybug, those aren't flirting smiles they're polite grins to keep from cracking up laughing at the foolish old goat.

Aint' it the truth??!!!!