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#70741 - 05/31/06 06:15 PM
I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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I admit it, but I'm not sure he feels the same. I haven't told him, of course. My friends are telling me to "be careful" but once you're there, you might as well go for it, don't you think? It always happens when you least expect it. If you don't remember, he's the one I ran into at the grocery - we had graduated from high school together. We've been slowly getting to know each other and having a great time. One verse that has sustained me through this is "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." I didn't right down the book or verse#. Daisygirl
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#70743 - 05/31/06 08:42 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Thanks JJ,
I think in my past I've been too smart for my own good. I'm trying not to think too much and allow my past to affect this relationship. I've been single 15 years and have learned too much about the hearts of men (women, too). I've been the queen of bad experiences but hopefully that is changing. If not, I know you ladies will allow me to whine a little, then kick me in the rear, and encourage me to get over it.
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#70746 - 06/01/06 05:50 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Well, you know me. If anything, I'm too cautious. I've been done in by knowing I'm that way, then I cut a guy some slack and I end up with another sociopathic liar. I'm trying to have a balance.
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#70750 - 06/01/06 11:04 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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He lives within 15 minutes of me.
I'll try to enjoy the ride, but I have a knot in my stomach. If we decide our feelings are mutual, I'll enjoy it more.
Regardless, I don't regret having met him.
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#70752 - 06/02/06 05:51 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Chatty, that man may have no idea that he's so self-absorbed. Have you thought about telling him gently why you are backing off?
P and I are spending the weekend together (no S) 2 beds in the hotel room.
The result of all this happening is that I am allowing God into my life more. How could I not, when He answered a one line joking prayer? He conked me on the head, waved a sign in front of my face saying, "I love you and I am listening every minute of every day." Timing is everything.
I wonder if I'd ever asked before? If so, I don't remember. [ June 02, 2006, 10:52 AM: Message edited by: Daisygirl ]
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#70754 - 06/02/06 06:34 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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It would take a younger man to keep up with Chatty!
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#70756 - 06/03/06 07:03 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Writer
Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
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Well Doc is pushing 60 and his girls are 17 and 19. He calls the woman their companion. They love to be kids and run about and he chooses to rest and relax so this woman, Lily does the running. She is kind of like a mom, probably in her 30's. Its sad but he is a very well thought of surgeon and seems nice but you know me, always sizing these men up. I did calmly mention to him that he said ME alot. He laughed and said he loves himself and why not he is wonderful, all the women want him, kids like him, hes rich, successful, a self made man and good looking. He said the last night I saw him at the lodge, "aw come on, you know you are impressed by me, tell the truth now." I said, "so you want the truth huh? Well Doctor in the time we have spent together, I have found you to be a braggard, egotistical, arrogant, smug, cocky, rude, and full of yourself. I wouldn't date you if it meant turning lesbian and before you come back with a smart remark, remember those beautiful fake teeth of yours and whether they are worth keeping." My granddaughter and his eldest daughter fell out laughing as I turned and walked away. This man is really out of control.. [ June 03, 2006, 06:11 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]
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#70758 - 06/04/06 01:19 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Writer
Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
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Update.....this morning flowers arrived at the chalet with a note that read: We are leaving this morning. These are my SORRY gesture to you. It was signed, Adorable Doctor Daniel...and he drew a happy face. Oh well, it was an experience for me and I know for sure I was right about him. Even on vacation I find losers, geesh! I'll be headed home late this afternoon! [ June 03, 2006, 06:21 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]
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#70761 - 06/04/06 10:07 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Good for you Chatty - you must've given him something to think about if he sent you flowers. Maybe he'll wonder why the only women he has in his life are shallow and after his $$. I had a great weekend with P. We stayed in Cincinnati on the riverfront where there are many restaurants and activities to do. He was a gentleman and all is well. Daisygirl
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#70764 - 06/08/06 08:57 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
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Daisy....this all sounds so romantic and exciting...I am absolutely thrilled for you...can't wait to hear what comes next!!! He sounds like a keeper to me though!!
Chatty, your experience with "Doctor Daniel" sounds like the makings of a really good short story for Redbook or the like....you may as well capitalize on the jerk's obnoxious behavior toward you...I'm glad you let him "have it" before you left....Bravo!!!!
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#70765 - 06/08/06 05:35 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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This love stuff sure is difficult. I could be wrong, but I don't think this is going to work out. I'm discouraged.
Daisygirl
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#70769 - 06/09/06 12:16 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Actually, I'm not so smart or I wouldn't be in this situation again.
I'm having a poor me day. Thanks for your encouragement.
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#70773 - 06/09/06 05:38 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Chatty, so true, so true. It's the ones who know how to trick you without really lying. I don't know if this one is a bad one, just that everything was fine and then - wham - he's gone with no explanation.
Sugaree, I been down your road also, only I married the jerk. Right before I bought my house, he suggested I help him refinance his house so he could get a better rate with my good credit. Fat chance. I was house hunting!
I am feeling better now than I was earlier. It's the initial let down of the phone calls stopping and a person who I considered a friend is just gone. I realize my heart will heal and my little disappointment is nothing compared to the burdens of some of you ladies.
I started seeing a counselor last week because I really want to discover why this happens to me so often.
Your support is very appreciated.
Daisygirl [ June 08, 2006, 10:39 PM: Message edited by: Daisygirl ]
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#70774 - 06/09/06 06:28 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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okay, I realize I'm obsessing.....however. The man just called me and we chatted for maybe 5 minutes - he didn't ask me for a date this weekend. What is going on here? I have a leaking tire and he said be sure to call him if it goes flat. Is he playing me?
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#70778 - 06/11/06 06:02 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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He called at 10:00 Friday eve., I was busy celebrating my bd w/friends. He didn't leave a message. I didn't return his call and won't. He called me every day last week except Tuesday and Saturday. I'm confused. Thursday when I told him I had to put air in a leaking tire, he said be sure to call him if I need rescuing. ????? But that's the kind of stuff they say to keep you hanging on, isn't it?
I've had a very busy weekend. Went out w/friends Friday, Saturday I went shopping w/gf, then my DGS spent the night. Today I'm going to church, then helping for a few hours at another church event in the afternoon.
Still, it has been difficult. I don't play games or hard to get. I have a full life and I'm doing things I normally would do. I don't carry my cell with me every moment (I guess that's a game, isn't it).
Believe me, I won't do anything stupid, but at the same time, I haven't given up on this guy just yet. I will date someone else if anyone interesting asks - but how likely is that to happen? Not very.
Daisygirl
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#70781 - 06/12/06 02:35 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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JJ, Maybe I am overreacting. He called and/or emailed every day except 2 last week after we returned. The conversations were short and he seemed a little distant. This weekend he didn't ask me out and I haven't heard from him, except for a phone call on Friday, with no message.
I am really confused and hurt, but maybe I am expecting too much, too soon. I'm sure he has no idea I feel this way, although he does have an idea that I like him a lot lot.
Would you guys please pray for me tonight?
Daisygirl [ June 11, 2006, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Daisygirl ]
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#70784 - 06/12/06 04:06 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Thanks a heap you guys! JJ, I need a good sermon right now, I think. You are right, all the worrying and analyzing doesn't change a thing.
Thanks for your friendship.
Daisygirl
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#70786 - 06/13/06 07:36 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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I was so disconbobulated today that I went to see my counselor. She helped me to realize that it has been me who backed off from this relationship and not him. When I explained the details, which is too much to put in writing (and maybe too personal), I discovered that the ball was in my court and I just didn't return it. I put the big wall up.
I talked to him today and he asked me why I didn't return his call because he wanted to go out on Saturday. I apologized and explained that it seems I have post-traumatic-stress syndrome (per my shrink), from the horrible experience I had with my x - I have the same feelings although P hasn't done anything to deserve it. I'm expecting lies, abuse and more lies, but I have NO evidence that he would do so.
My counselor advised me to lay most of the cards on the table and be open about what is going on. I risked it and tried to be as honest as I could - I'm not going to tell EVERYTHING, you know.
I cannot imagine how messed up I would be if there had been physical abuse also.
We are okay at this point.
Daisygirl
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#70789 - 06/14/06 07:13 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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My counselor asks me some very difficult questions. I've learned that once I am aware of what my subconsious has been doing, it doesn't work anymore, but whatever my issue is, it will try to protect itself in some other way.
I'm not sure if I'm really in love but I would like to find out. I just hope that P will not give up on me.
Daisygirl
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#70791 - 06/14/06 03:29 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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I had no idea I could have something like post-traumatic stress syndrome because of my divorce. It was final 3 years ago! I suppose it didn't come out until now because I haven't dated anyone I really cared for until now. Love = Misery......that was what I've experienced so far in life.
I still have some of those bad feelings, but I refuse to allow them to affect my life like that any longer.
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#70793 - 06/14/06 10:00 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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He is coming over this evening and I am going to talk to him about us. I am going to ask him to help me with my fear of intimacy by understanding I am struggling and working on growing, by just being himself and by not giving up on us. I read a few articles from the Cloud & Townsend website and learned that it is important to be honest and truthful about what I feel. Mature love does not happen without risk.
This is going to take some time, I think. I hope P will be willing to hang in there with me, but if he doesn't I'll move on. Daisygirl
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#70794 - 06/14/06 10:10 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Daisygirl, I think Chatty's advise is very good. Although no one likes to be on pins and needles, nonchalance is best and relax and allow opportunities to occur naturally within the relationship. Perhaps you could talk to him "along the way" in the relationship, thus keeping him intrigued?
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#70795 - 06/14/06 10:12 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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Maybe you could ask him what it is he's looking for or what he expects from a relationship. Just be honest, it is always the best way to go.
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#70796 - 06/15/06 12:11 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Mustang, I caused this man some grief by not returning his phone call and appearing to be uninterested. Two weeks ago I got angry at him inappropriately and it was very upsetting to him. I think he needs to know I care and that I am doing everything I can to grow past my limitations. My counselor believes I need to let him know that much.
Bluebird, One thing I know is that he would expect his friends to return his phonecalls. I will ask him that question - that's an important one.
Let me tell you, this will be very hard, because my normal MO would be to well.....move on and not deal with it. One thing - I cannot pretend to be happy and carefree when I'm not. He sees right through me and sometimes surprises me by what he knows without me saying a word about it.
I appreciate you ladies so much. This has been a very difficult time and knowing you care means a lot.
Daisygirl
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#70797 - 06/15/06 12:45 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Daisygirl, thanks for clarifying -- I did not read the thread in its entirety! Perhaps you could explain and then offer to take him to dinner or a movie or both?
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#70798 - 06/15/06 12:53 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Mustang, I think I'm going to make a grilled chicken salad for dinner and hopefully he will stay. Here's a link to a great article re love from the cloudtownsend site in case anyone would like to read it. There are other topics like family, dating, depression, and faith issues. They are a well-known Christian counseling organization and have a radio program. Their books and philosophy is all Bible based. http://www.cloudtownsend.com/Articles/7articles8.htm Daisygirl [ June 14, 2006, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: Daisygirl ]
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#70799 - 06/15/06 03:19 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Update: I did talk to him and I am okay with the results. He was not very open with me, but I can't blame him for that, I would be leary also. We "like" each other and will continue to date and if that doesn't work out, we will be friends.
Daisygirl
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#70802 - 06/15/06 07:06 AM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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The thing is, I feel so much better. After a bad relationship years ago, I became distant from God. This relationship with P caused me to look at how self-centered I've been always protecting myself. I know God forgives me and I am praying I will have a chance to ask others from my past to forgive me.
I found a box of letters I received through the years from friends and acquaintances (sp?) appreciating my friendship and the love they received from me. But they were all from years ago, because I became a closed up person, with walls all around me. I haven't received any letters or cards like that in years. I really want to go back to being me. With God's help, it can happen!
Daisygirl [ June 15, 2006, 12:09 AM: Message edited by: Daisygirl ]
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#70804 - 06/15/06 11:10 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Thank you Chatty! Today I do feel loved - and it's so nice.
JJ, I'm very glad you have someone like that in your life.
I've been single a long time and now realize I have probably been repelling the good guys away. Although, you know there are very few good ones out there at our age.
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#70805 - 06/20/06 09:52 PM
Re: I'm in love
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Update: I haven't seen P since I backed off and all that, but you ladies won't believe what happened again.
I have run into him accidently 2 times at the grocery, the first time I met him again and another time soon after I got angry because he changed his plans. Well, last night I was in Hobby Lobby and heard someone say "hey there lady" but didn't think it was meant for me. Yes, it was him. I went ahead and left without knowing he was there, but he tried to call (cell phone was in the car). We've emailed today, but I still haven't talked to him.
Does anyone not think this is a God thing? How often do you run into someone you know while out running errands? I do realize that it does take 2 and I'm not sure he gets it yet. Although he did tell me he thought it was no accident that we met. The reason is yet to be determined. [ June 20, 2006, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: Daisygirl ]
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