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#69930 - 09/20/05 06:56 PM
Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Ladies: I'm considering cyber dating for a few months, yet am concerned about "safe" dating, pros, cons, bad apples, etc. For instance, I note that many men are looking for "any" and "all" types of women, which is rather discouraging b/c is sounds desperate. Also, I fear that "hidden agendas" exist, i.e., S-E-X! I thought that I would give it a calculated risk to overcome my fears of dating and perhaps learn how to mix w/ men again. I've only had a couple dating experiences, one of which was frightening and the other not so frightening, but not yet accustomed to the "nice guys." I've always been attracted to the "bad boys" or ambivalent men. Now, it would be nice to mingle and choose as I please. Afterall, the dates are simply "interviews". Thank you gals.
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#69931 - 09/21/05 07:38 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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MustangGal, I have had a little experience with on-line dating and didn't have much luck. I did meet some men who seemed very nice, professional and decent. You do need to take precautions and never give anyone your home phone number because they can get your address from it, use your cell phone. Meet in a public place such as a reputable restaurant. I never did give any personal information such as my employer's name. Don't believe everything they tell you. Some embellish their jobs, lifestyle, etc. Think of marketing principals when you develop your profile.
It is possible to meet someone this way, but don't go into it with expectations. Just think of it as a fun thing to do and a way to gain experience with dating.
Here are some situations I ran into: One guys picture looked about 30 years younger than he did. He was the one who was training his puppy with an electronic zapper. One guy sort of stood me up and sort of was enough for me. I was the one rejected several times for whatever reason, but I've been dating for 15 years and have learned not to take it personal. I met one guy for dinner and he wanted to hold my hand over the table and get all romantic and it was the first time I had met him - eewwww! On my profile I could see that hundreds of men looked at me and passed - not very heartening. Some emailed me, but I could tell they were bubbas or just after sex.
You are correct that many men are desperate. I think they find it more difficult to be alone than we do.
I hope this doesn't discourage you. I only want to prepare you for some possible scenarios.
Good luck! Daisygirl
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#69932 - 09/20/05 09:16 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 18
Loc: Fairfield, Ct. USA
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MustangGal..I'm glad Daisygirl gave you the sound advice of being cautious...so many people can actually "hide" their true selves online! I, however, am part of the other side of the story..I met my husband online and we've been married over 6 years now! We emailed for weeks, then phoned each other for a couple of more weeks, before meeting at a mall. We spent 10 hours in each other's company that day, browsing and talking, and the rest, as they say, was history! Sometimes you DO have to kiss a lot of cyber-toads (not literally) to find the prince, but I found mine, and I'm very thrilled I took the chance. Be careful and the best of luck to you if you try! Blessings....S. [ September 20, 2005, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: Sera ]
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#69933 - 09/20/05 11:22 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Sera, congratulations on your good fortune! I have a question for you, how many men did you have to meet before you found your Mr. Right?
Daisygirl
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#69934 - 09/21/05 12:52 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 18
Loc: Fairfield, Ct. USA
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Hey Daisygirl! Thanks for the congrats! I never physically met any of the other men I emailed or spoke with by phone...only my husband. He "struck a note" with me when we emailed and talked, so we met. I freely admit my good fortune-it's not easy finding a good man these days...ask my daughter, who's still looking. Blessings...S.
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#69935 - 09/21/05 05:57 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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I'm laughing as I type this, yet I did sign up as a free user with www.true.com a few days ago. Sadly, I took the sex compatable test and stopped halfway through the other test, thinking I would revisit them later. Last night, upon checking my email, there were several responses, I did not know why b/c did not finish the tests nor have I (nor shall I) post a photo. Well, interestingly, the sex test was available and apparantely this is all the men were interested in! Just as soon as I figure out how, I'll delete that criteria from my personality! In stitches now, but one of the guys w/ a photo ID had no teeth! One was 25! Oh dear! I'm amending my viewable personality ASAP!
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#69936 - 09/22/05 02:21 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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Mustang,
Yeeee Hawwww! You go girl!
d.
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#69937 - 09/22/05 02:50 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Some men are looking for a nursemaid, and some men are looking for a dentist!
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#69938 - 09/22/05 06:35 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 07/02/05
Posts: 173
Loc: Phoenix, Arizona
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You ladies are in sync with what our future holds. Online dating is becoming more acceptable and widespread.
I say.......YOU GO GIRLS!
Teresa
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#69940 - 09/23/05 06:19 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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I think that's why I'm not doing the cyber dating thing anymore. I was engaged to a guy I had known for 1 year - someone I met here in my town - and broke up with him because he finally confessed he had some additional children. And they were toddlers!!!! He lied to me for an entire year - AND neglected his poor children all that time!!!
Yes, it's okay to meet someone that way, but just remember that trust is something to be earned!!!
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#69942 - 09/23/05 09:15 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 7
Loc: Indiana
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Ah yes..cyber dating...another rung in the ladder of our most technology driven society. lol I have dabbled in cyber dating off and on for several years with no credible success. I think the funniest experience I had was going out with a guy I really thought could be a great match. He was an editor with a local newspaper and I have always been interested in writing and newspaper work, so I thought..this could be good. We spoke and emailed and all that and finally went to dinner. Now, I will say this...he had a picture posted and it was okay..not terrific, but I thought he would pass muster. So he came to my door and when I opened the door, I really thought I had a date with a troll. He was short, had large yellow teeth and smoked more than I do...AND left the windows UP in the car while chain smoking. It was certainly NOT a match made in cyberland heaven. We went to dinner in a dark place and made tolerable conversation for about an hour and then I had to choke when he expected a good night kiss. arghhhhhhhhhhhhh. In retrospect, I should have seen a red flag when he told me his ex-wife had come from Russia and he married her so she could keep her green card or whatever it's called.
Just thought I'd share that story...I know success stories with cyber dating, but I'm afraid I haven't attained that success as of yet.
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#69944 - 09/24/05 06:00 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 7
Loc: Indiana
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Hi Chatty and thank you for the welcome. I did post this morning on the Hi I'm New page. I am new to forum posting, but have done email chat lists in the past. As I said in my morning post, this is a great site. It is easy to navigate and I love the way the forums are categorized. Thanks for you efforts.
Jeneane
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#69945 - 09/24/05 10:42 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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Irish, welcome. I love your name. My maiden name is McNamara! My dad was the leader of the band. Do you think your date posted a picutre of someone else? Do people ever do that? This reminds me of my son who creates films. He is great at using his editing system. He takes our pictures and distorts them, puts other bodies, or faces on them. It's hysterical. We have a picture of my husband and I all dressed up for this black tie affair. He added weight to me and gave my husband a huge forehead among other distortions. We have had more laughs from that simple picture. It is so funny. We look awful, but we keep it there because it's a riot. I wonder if people make themselves look better for those dating sites. Would anyone know if they did that?
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#69946 - 10/05/05 06:02 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Okay, most of the guys who "wink" are creepy! Yet, I do find it amusing! Thus, I've not winked back! My neighbor tried to fix me up with her boyfriend's friend. Yet, he is the same age as my mother, so I told the neighbor thank you, yet I do not feel comfortable dating someone who is 60 where I'm 39. She said "I thought you were older." Geez! Will look for the "Solo Bliss" book next time in the bookstore!
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#69949 - 10/09/05 09:08 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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I've given up the "cyber dating" venue. Yeah, I've had quite a bit of experience with it, unfortunately. I live in a small town, teach middle school, don't go out to bars (yuck!), and am generally a stay-at-home type, rather shy of getting out and mingling. The men I've met thru the Internet singles' sites have been generally deceptive on various levels. I liken it to throwing a hook into the ocean and pulling out who knows what kind of monster! And, well, like Chatty, I could also write a book, only it would NOT be fiction! For now, and maybe permanently, I prefer solo bliss! Ari
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#69950 - 10/09/05 09:24 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 1
Loc: South Florida
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Hi everyone I'm new to this forum and was drawn to this thread. The best experience of my life came from a cyber introduction. I was a widow and met a man through a cyber site. We met for coffee and it was as though a magnet were pulling me in. We were together for two glorious years and finally made the decision to move in together. Three weeks after that happened he collapsed and passed away leaving me heartbroken.
I had truly finally met my soulmate and the memories will live in me forever. I do not regret at all my venture into cyber dating. Ann
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#69951 - 10/09/05 10:04 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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Ann,
What a sweet story with such a sad ending!
Welcome to the site - make yourself at home!
Danita
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#69955 - 10/10/05 10:36 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Bubelah, I'm so sorry for your loss. My blessings and prayers are with you.
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#69956 - 10/10/05 10:40 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Ariadne54:
I understand! Many of those descriptions are deceptive and sadly there are guides/web sites that benefit men and how they can "herd" women through internet dating (typical players). I've noted that men also have ads at several sites, with the same (if not more) photos of themselves with a varying degree of descriptions to entice women. Guess its like shopping for shoes sometimes, yet perhaps not as fun! You can return shoes, but men are another issue! I was informing a friend today that I wish men had bar codes so women could scan their pasts!
If you could post some of the deceptions you've encountered I would be interested and may ad a few myself. Perhaps to help others if not get a good laugh!
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#69958 - 10/11/05 12:53 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Okey dokey! Here's one: The fella posted a much younger pic on the site, saying he was 48, a college grad and a "genius." Upon meeting him in person, I noticed immediately he was much older than his pic. First thing I noticed in conversing was he wouldn't look me in the eyes while talking, but turned his head sideways! He was age 52, had less than one year of college (flunking out), and was grieving the loss of his much younger girlfriend of whom he talked the whole evening. When he broke down in tears over his "surf and turf," I realized I was with someone who was emotionally unstable. He never listened to anything I said, nor did he ask about me, my interests. He kept apologizing in a whining way about talking incesssantly about the old girlfriend, but I just said, "Oh, that's okay...Go ahead and talk about her!" We returned to the parking lot where we met, and I said goodnight. When he got home, he wrote me a nasty email because I didn't invite him up to my house to have sex!!!! In subsequent emails he told me he was driving past my house in the middle of the night (though he lived 2 hours away from me!). I responded that it sounded like "potential stalking," and he replied with more nasty emails. I removed that email account after that. ARI
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#69960 - 10/11/05 01:15 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Thanks, Jawjaw... He really was a nut! I actually have others equally as bad, LOL! ARI
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#69961 - 10/11/05 02:50 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Ariadne, I had the same experience, except that I met him at the restaurant and he didn't know where I lived. But he looked about 30 years older than his picture and about 40 lbs. heavier. He said he was an engineer, but his language skills didn't match up to his education.
I had the exgirlfriend problem with the last guy I dated. This guy was a keeper except that he wasn't over her plus he was a control freak. We ran into the ex on our first date. So we were sitting at an outdoor country music concert (which I don't like) I was sweating like a pig and feeling totally miserable plus my date was a mess. I excused myself, left and called a girlfriend to pick me up. I ended up dating him for a few months, because he called many times and sent a card with a very sincere apology, but he still wasn't over her. Mostly, it was that he couldn't control her anymore. That was the worst date I ever had......well, I should say the worst date with a man who was sober.
Daisygirl
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#69962 - 10/11/05 03:01 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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LOL, and LOL, Daisy... Thanks for sharing. ARI
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#69964 - 10/11/05 05:12 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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J.J.,
We want an encore of your "worst story". (unless it's on this current link and I haven't gone back).
D.
P.S I looove your photo for nabbw - you are a very lovely looking lady! humor and looks - who could ask for more! no wonder the men are beating down your door!
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#69966 - 10/11/05 06:22 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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Chatty,
What a story! And a church man even!!! eeeekkkkkkk! WHAT is the world coming to?
frightened in Colorado!
d.
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#69967 - 10/11/05 06:28 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
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That is absolutely unbelievable! What a fine upstanding church going man, that was. My mouth fell open, just reading your post. Don't know how you held back....I would have been one "wild woman".
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#69968 - 10/11/05 06:34 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Da Queen
Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
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Eye to Eye wasn't what he was counting on. What a jerk Chatty! Okay girls, you've asked for it. Back by popular demand... and I do backyard parties and BBQ's too.
I'll give you the short version.
Had a date with a guy from high school that I hadn't seen in 30+ years. A "friend" set us up. He shows up in my driveway coming to a screaching halt in a brand new corvette...I'm thinking, okay, I can deal with this. Then he opens his mouth.
He is a Viet Nam vet who lives off of disability because he claims he is shell shocked. He did everything but admit right out to me there was nothing wrong, but he loved the 5000 thousand a month he got from the government. And...if they ever threatened to take it away, he would simply do something like poked a hole in his wall at home and they would declare him unfit, and his checks kept coming.
The first words out of his mouth when we left for the date were "let's go spin some of YOUR money." I of course looked puzzled AND scared, then he said, "Well, the way I see it...you work, I don't. The government take taxes out of your check to pay ME each month, so in essence, we are spending YOUR money."
I suffered thru the B O R I N G evening with him talking on and on about himself, NEVER even asking me where I worked, or if I was a serial killer (which crossed my mind) or if I had children, nutin. Not one thing.
The next day when he called and asked me out again, I said, "don't think so...We don't have anything in common." He was shocked and called me every name in the book except a good hunting dog...I ain't lying.
Two days later, he sent me a dozen roses apologizing, asking me to reconsider. When I said not NO, AND GO AWAY, he asked me to pay for my half of the dinner from the date. Since he had eaten HALF of my dinner that night AFTER he had eaten HIS entire dinner, and then had dessert, I asked him which half he wanted me to pay for, the half he had eaten, or the half of the half I had eaten...
I finally had to threaten to have my sons visit him to get him to leave me alone...and trust me, they would have.
This guy is brilliant, a member of Menza, and could have done anything he wanted with his life. Instead he chose to be a bum (in my estimation)
And this is the short version...as I told Louisa, he is about as useful as a bucket under a bull.
JJ
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#69969 - 10/11/05 06:39 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Well, they say the church is a place full of sinners!
JJ Come on with the story!
Do any of you guys have this problem? If I'm nice to them, they run. If I'm indifferent, they fall in love. And of course I'm indifferent because I don't like them. If I ever marry, it will be with someone I don't like. If I have to be with someone I don't like, I'm going to at least make sure he has a job and doesn't mind sleeping in the spare room so my dog can sleep with me.
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#69970 - 10/11/05 06:56 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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JawJaw, I hadn't heard your story before. You know, many people who are highly intellegent do not have a lick of common sense. Now, me..... I don't have that problem. he-he
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#69971 - 10/11/05 08:10 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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so daisygirl, are you saying that J.J. has no common sense?
ROTFL,
danita
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#69972 - 10/11/05 08:15 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Well, I meant to say I don't have to worry about being so intelligent that I have no common sense. See what I mean?
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#69973 - 10/11/05 08:19 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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Daisy,
You're killing me now!
D.
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#69976 - 10/11/05 06:13 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Chatty, my heavans, not only is this man a jerk, but the audacity to bring his 'jammies', geez I would have made him put them on then get out! And kept his street clothes! My goodness!
JawJaw, that guy is a double jerk! Sounds like he has a passive-aggressive personality disorder, in other words a nice way to say someone is a real pain in the ass! Also, did you know the term "passive-aggressive" was first introduced in 1945 after the War Department dubbed soldiers with this disorder? Comforting as it can be to pigeonhole our tormentors with off-the-shelf psychiatric diagnoses, sometimes it's best just to call a jerk a jerk.
Jerk(s)!
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#69977 - 10/11/05 06:13 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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It's a "laugh fest" imagine that. All of us (ahem) old women, laughing at ourselves (tounge in cheek).
Good to have levity in the forums!
You all are tarp as shacks, and YOU KNOW IT!
giggling hugs, danita
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#69978 - 10/12/05 07:05 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Dotsie, It give us hope to know that there are good men in the world who are loyal and able to contribute to a stable marriage. I, for one, will not settle for anything less.
It's good to laugh about our dating exploits and to know I'm not the only one meeting so many losers! Wouldn't it be cool if we could meet up and trade war stories over a couple of bottles of good wine?
Daisygirl
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#69979 - 10/11/05 10:12 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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Chatty, I am so desperately trying to picture a distiguished, grey haired man, saying "jammies"!!! I haven't dated for almost 30 years...YIKES...what goes on...
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#69980 - 10/11/05 10:40 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Da Queen
Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
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Don't you just love the commericals on e-harmony.com and they way they are trying to convince singles everywhere that all you have to do is take their personality test and you'll meet Mr. Right? And of course I'm sure not one person who takes those quizzes LIES. Nu uh. Not one.
What I hate are people who try to "fix me up." By the way, if someone, ANYONE, tells you they have a nice personality, RUN. This means you couldn't drink um pretty.
They think since I'm single, I must not have a life at all. I'm sad...lonely, depressed, and desperate. And that's just my Mother talking. Give me a break! I love being single. And I've even had people say, "that is sooo weird." Yet in the course of the conversation, they will admit how UNHAPPY they are married. And when you tell a guy you're dating that you never want to re-marry, they look at you like "uh huh..sure." They don't believe you.
WHY?
JJ
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#69981 - 10/11/05 11:09 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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I was on e-harmony for 1 month. I only was in contact with one man and he wanted to be sure I would be willing to travel to remote, primitive areas for his hobby, which was something like model airplanes. My response was that my idea of roughing it is staying in a Paris hotel without air conditioning. He then stated that he and I were incompatible - no kidding Dick Tracy! What really got me was that before he had even met me, he was already finding out what I could do for HIM!
JJ I'm sorry to say these men get their ideas from women who are desperate to get married and think they can't live without a man. Well, it doesn't help that some men are narrow minded and not open to new ways of thinking.
I have a few friends who are happily married, but even they will say they don't think they'd get married again if anything happened to their husbands. Marriage does not guarantee happiness, it's all about making the best of the situation we are in.
DG
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#69982 - 10/11/05 11:18 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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I don't think you're crazy for enjoying being single. There's no one to argue with over every single decision!!! It's soooooooo tiring...
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#69983 - 10/11/05 11:19 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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The last post wwas for JJ
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#69986 - 10/12/05 12:55 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Hi, all, I have read all the posts and enjoyed the levity! Dianne, a "wink" is usually something you can do for free, without actually paying to join the website. You can still search and read the profiles, send and receive "winks," but if you want to correspond thru the site, you have to pay money. About Eharmony...It's a crock, and I speak from experience. Don't waste your money or your time. The test is long, and you may think it actually does match you with someone compatible, but NOT!!! Chatty, your story was funny, but also disheartening to know you met a "church" guy who behaved so outrageously! I'll post some other nightmare Internet meetings soon. ARI
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#69987 - 10/12/05 01:11 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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I've decided the only way I would have a man in my life is if he made my life better.......not worse. Traveling somewhere to play with toy airplanes is NOT something I would want to do., unless I was on safari or something adventurous like that.
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#69989 - 10/12/05 02:18 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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Short, fluffy, FUNNY women!
Amen sister!
D.
P.S ...I know this guy...he's really nice.......
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#69990 - 10/12/05 02:23 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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#69991 - 10/12/05 02:24 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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Sometimes I feel puffy...and stuffy...but,fluffy?
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#69993 - 10/12/05 02:41 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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This was what JJ said a man would have to like....
"Oh yeah, and he like short, fluffy women. How's that?
JJ"
I think it is a sweet way to describe ones' self!
d.
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#69994 - 10/12/05 03:03 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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#69996 - 10/12/05 04:19 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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LOL - chatty, you are just too much!!
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#69997 - 10/12/05 04:49 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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So, I was going to mention all of your names, but I got confused with so many,
As some of you know, my daughter just recently passed away, but what you don't know is that I was at home caring for her for many years - and completely out of the dating circuit - I was just thinking that (it will be 6 months on the 20th )it might be nice to get out, be with someone attractive and have a nice dinner, but after reading all this, I believe I have a proposal-- any prospective date must be interviewed by all of you, plus any family members available and if you attend a church, them too. You know, a board. Since most of us don't have Dad anymore, we'll just have to use each other. I'm not at all sure that prearranged marriages (or at least dates) should ever have been dumped in the first place. At least prospective suitors were pre-screened!!!! Well, I'm only half joking, but it must be a jungle out there!
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#69998 - 10/12/05 10:28 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
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I think it would be a bit better if we could confine all these horror dates to men in a certain age group. Maybe, they were...wild and ran with wolves, who knows... But, it doesn't seem to be confined to a certain age. Take for instance...my daughter is 21, talkative, personality plus, sensitive, caring, beautiful, size 5....(yes, I'm bragging)...having the hardest time finding a decent male friend her age. Most either have a ex-wife, ex-boyfriend, babies that they don't support, other unknown girlfriends, man friend priority's (baseball, football, mud-bog). Several with out jobs, one sat on my couch on 3 different occasions without speaking at all, one drove a late model Porche and no job, one lied everytime he opened his mouth, her last told her he was 26 (he looked it) come to find out he was 40. So now...everytime she brings a man home, the questions in order are: Do you have a: ex wife ex boyfriend girlfriend (that follows you, or... your still together with)? men friends, you can spend time away from current drivers license (let's see it) job criminal record Sad, because she is really looking for a meaningful relationship. I would really dislike being in the dating field today. Brenda [ October 12, 2005, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Brenda ]
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#69999 - 10/12/05 11:04 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Searcher, I like your idea of a dating board. The men would have to fill out a questionaire, including their SS# so we could do a background check on him. If they pass that section, they would have to be interviewed by "the board" and then we could take a vote. If he passes, well, then he would be authorized to meet said Boomer Woman for a cocktail, but only if they drive seperately.
I'm very sorry about your daughter, Searcher, you must be going through a difficult period. It would be good for you to go out and socialize a little. I do believe there are some good guys out there and you don't have to marry them, just have fun.
I used to think I was a weirdo magnet, but after hearing y'all's stories, I'm beginning to see I'm not alone.
Another story - My pastor fixed me up with his ex-brother-in-law who he and his wife loved dearly. He lived out of town, about 5 hrs away so we talked on the phone for a few months before I met him. He seemed very intelligent, was a Christian and I was interested, until he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him - yes, before we ever laid eyes on each other. When he came to town I met him and he was very shabby and had a couple of teeth missing, and they were in the front. Like JJ said......buh bye.....
Daisygirl
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#70000 - 10/12/05 11:05 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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I should add, if it seems like I have a lot of dating stories, I do, because I've been single for 15 years.
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#70003 - 10/13/05 12:52 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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4. Do you carry your "jammies" with you?
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#70004 - 10/13/05 12:59 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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5. Do you wear jammies?
eeeekkkkk!
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#70005 - 10/13/05 01:00 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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It's almost embarrassing to continue to post these disaster Internet dating stories. I've actually written about this one here before in another thread. Here goes:
This fella and I hooked up thru Match.com. We corresponded sporadically for months, and finally agreed to meet for dinner. He wasn't bad, and the conversation was even okay. He brought me rocks from New Zealand, since he knew I create and sell art on rocks, and he also brought several CD's of his fav music as a gift. That was pretty nice, I thought, though I felt no attraction to him. During the week after the dinner, I decided to go online and see how many singles' sites this man was posted on. On one site, Mingles, I think, there was a link to "Adult single." I had never visited such a site and didn't realize what it was about, but I went there. Whoa! It's very pornographic, with most members showing pics of their genetalia instead of their faces, but there was this guy with whom I'd just had dinner, posting his face! He stated he was looking for "discrete" relationships. He continued to call and email me numerous times, which I didn't answer, but finally I sent him a brief email stating I had seen him on the pornographic site, and please not contact me again. It was quite a revelation to me to see that in my little state alone there were some 80,000 members in that site. ARI
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#70006 - 10/13/05 01:08 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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#70008 - 10/13/05 01:40 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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I've weeded through several responses, and didn't like any! So, I winked to someone in another city, yet same state, and we've corresponded via email only. I answer w/in 48 hours so as not to appear desperate.
Recently, he wanted to know more about me and sent me a pix. Well, I know he is posted on at least half a dozen singles sites, and the pictures get progressively older (yet he is still attractive). So, in response to his question, I state that I note that in his varios posts he indicates he works for one of the big 4 accounting firms and that I work for a large firm, too. I do not provide names of the firms. I also mentioned that I love to travel. Also, that in his postings, he does not mention travel at all, and if he has traveled, what was his favorite place?
Have not heard from him! Must be looking for one of those snow bunny types!
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#70009 - 10/13/05 01:53 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Mustang, this is another reason I no longer visit the singles' Internet sites. I really don't know what these men are looking for. ARI
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#70012 - 10/13/05 05:12 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Dianne, you can literally send a wink to someone you are interested in, but maybe don't feel comfortable emailing. The guy sends it and you get an email saying so and so is interested in YOU! Aren't you the HOTTIE of the moment!! You better hurry up and email him, or he will GET AWAY! My questions: Are you an available man? (covers married, engaged, in a relationship?) Are you a believer? Do you have teeth - for sure! Would you mind sleeping with a dog? Do you like kids? Do you have any? Are you able to trust people? Have you ever hit a woman? Do you think there is ever a time when it's okay to lie? When? Have you ever been arrested? Have you ever done any sort of illegal drugs? How often do you have a cocktail or beer? Are you addicted to sports, food, work, exercise, alcohol, drugs, sex, church, etc. Are you adventurous and passionate about life? Is that your real hair? (I prefer bald to fake) Do you have a job? Do you make more than minimum wage? Do you keep your house in good condition? Do you bathe and change your undies daily? Do you like your mother? (like, not love) Do you smoke? Do you have a healthy relationship with your adult children and are they self sufficient? Do you know how to use a mitre saw? Are you over your last relationship? Do you like R & B and blues? Do you like to travel? Are you willing to give foot massages? JMO Daisygirl
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#70014 - 10/13/05 07:12 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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Chatty,
Do you know how you can tell when a man is lying
(I Knooooooowwww - we aren't saposed to be male bashing here!)
his LIPS are MOVING!
danita quick writer [ October 13, 2005, 12:21 AM: Message edited by: Danita ]
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#70017 - 10/13/05 05:01 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Dotsie, the problem that we single women have to contend with is that the good men stay married to their original wives and do not stray. I just heard a statistic that 65% of the divorces are instigated by the woman.
JJ, I love your multiple choice idea. That way, the responders would not have to think too hard and if they couldn't figure out the answer, they could guess.
Chatty, we would definitely have to administer a drug that would compel the truth to come out. Any doctors or nurses out there?
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#70019 - 10/14/05 07:28 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Dianne, you got that right. Some men find out what women want....they bring flowers, are generous, wine and dine you.....but they are really bubbas in disguise. Sometimes they just like the chase.
I think many of us single women have been disappointed and we are just having a little fun here - if we don't laugh, we would cry and be horrified! I think we realize there are good men, although few. I enjoy hearing about your husbands who are true and good - it gives me hope that maybe someday it could happen to me or one of us.
I have dated some really nice men who treated me very good. But I would find out a little detail that would make me run.....such as the guy who had 2 additional children he confessed to after we dated a year....or the pilot I dated who confessed he had an affair with a married co-pilot and didn't take responsibility for it, it was her fault....one guy I loved a lot, just couldn't connect emotionally with other people, including me....one guy I discovered was a compulsive liar and even lied about how great his kids were in sports.....one guy couldn't make up his mind so I made it up for him.....one guy chased and chased me and when he caught me, he let go of me and ran. All these men were gentlemen and treated me very good - they were nice men and I was attracted to them. But there was something I could not live with - maybe I'm too picky. I just know I need honesty, integrity, stability and didn't think I could get it from any of them.
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#70022 - 10/13/05 08:44 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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jawjaw,
O lemme lemme do it - I want to do the questionaire !!!! And, yes, Dotsie can be chair because I want to be chief whiner.
Now, let's see, we have job, teeth, residents of the local police station, jammies, girlfriends, boyfriends,driver's license, and men buddies, that's a good start.....
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#70023 - 10/13/05 09:04 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Okay, so if I post a potential date's postings and the sites he's posted at, would you gals be willing to "check him out" for me!
i.e.:
wera453 posting at true.com and date.com
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#70024 - 10/13/05 09:25 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
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Okay JJ, I'll bite: I'm thinking I should elaborate on daisygirl's questionaire a little. Here's my comments to her questions.
Are you an available man? (covers married, engaged, in a relationship?) First question for an online guy might be "ARE you a man? I mean online you might not be able to tell (Unless you have chatty on duty of course) Then you have to clarify "available." Like available for what? I mean some might be available for an affair or a roll in the hay or... Well, you get the picture.
Are you a believer? Better ask in what? There's a lot of stuff guys believe in, like beer, football, one night stands, Hooters restaurants, strippers--well you get the picture.
Do you have teeth - for sure! Better ask if they are in their head and if they stay there all night. If the teeth sleep in a glass, it can be a problem.
Would you mind sleeping with a dog? Now that one is just waaay too wide open. It could mean 1. YOU are a dog, 2. You have a dog 3. You sleep with a dog 4. And of course all the crude jokes in between. Oh that one is way too full of trouble.
Do you like kids? Do you have any? Now that might be a good one. Of course it might also reveal no end of problems.
Are you able to trust people? Hmmm. Trust people with what? Sounds like one of those financial scams, you know "Trust me, you'll love this ocean front property in Arizona."
Have you ever hit a woman? Now there's a good one. It might also be revealing to know if they've ever been hit by a woman and why.
Do you think there is ever a time when it's okay to lie? When? Now that's really a good one, but if the guy says he would "never" lie dump him. I mean if I've got a new pair of jeans and I ask if they make me look fat, he better have enough sense to LIE.
Have you ever been arrested? Now that one's a great one. Of course if he's a criminal, he's probably a liar too so he would never tell you he had been arrested.
Have you ever done any sort of illegal drugs? Oh boy, another good one. Of course he might be prone to lie. And you might want to know what 'medicines' he takes too. Some of that 'medicine' stuff can be very revealing.
How often do you have a cocktail or beer? Ah ha! Another good one. Very specific.
Are you addicted to sports, food, work, exercise, alcohol, drugs, sex, church, etc.? Boy that about covers it all. Of course based on some of the other topics on here, I guess you could add internet, porn, etc.
Are you adventurous and passionate about life? Good question, but how does he know?
Is that your real hair? (I prefer bald to fake) Very good question. I agree! I guess it could be hair implants though. I'm not sure if I like those or not. Don't know if I know anyone with them.
Do you have a job? Do you make more than minimum wage? Oh boy is that ever a good one. Excellent.
Do you keep your house in good condition? Maybe it would be good to know if he will keep your house in good condition too. It's always nice to have a real handy guy around.
Do you bathe and change your undies daily? Oh my gosh. Boy is that ever a good one. Very personal though. Some guys might not know they are supposed to change undies daily.
Do you like your mother? (like, not love) Another good one. I think it's okay for them to love their mother, but not be 'in love' with the old girl.
Do you smoke? Another good one. I kind of hate smokers worse than drinkers. At least the alcohol doesn't cause your hair to smell bad.
Do you have a healthy relationship with your adult children and are they self sufficient? Boy another good question. You don't want to date the whole family for heaven's sake.
Do you know how to use a mitre saw? Oh yeaaaah! That's my kind of man. I like those helpful types. I'm all for it. Of course they all think they are handy. You might want to administer some kind of test. You know like remodeling your kitchen or something.
Are you over your last relationship? I'm too tired to even elaborate on that. By now the guy might be in a coma.
Do you like R & B and blues? Now that might be a little picky, but...
Do you like to travel? Okay, that's a good one.
Are you willing to give foot massages? Boy that ranks right up there with the mitre saw. Essential. Of course foot massages don't last remodel jobs do.
Boy that was a lot of questions. Not to be negative or anything, but if I was a guy, I might be too exhausted to date. Then you add JJ's multiple choice. Shucks, I might just stay home and watch football. smile
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#70026 - 10/13/05 11:17 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Da Queen
Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
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Ah, well-L, ye-ah...I mean, what kind of question is that? Yell-o? Isn't that a given? Everyyyyyybody knows he's alive and living in Arizona. Don't you ever eat at Burger Kings?
Okay, I think we have a good start for this questionaire, and SMILES did help to clear up a few things, but I for one want to see the mitre saw thing stay in, k? Also, it wouldn't hurt to find out if he can do plumbing... NO, not that kind...geeish, you women! The kind you need worked on in your bathrooms/kitchens. Just ask them how many Lowe's or Home Depots are located in their town. If they don't know, dump um.
I think the "do you lie" may be redundant anyway. I mean, you ask, "do you breathe?" and if they answer "yes" there you go...see? (This is fun...)
I think we should ask them at least ONCE if they've ever sat thru the entire movie, "Gone With the Wind." If the answer is no, dump um...
JJ
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#70028 - 10/14/05 12:46 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Well, now that I'm a handy woman I just CANNOT have an un-handy man in my life! I refuse to clean the clogged up commode while he sits on his arse. See,I am a very optimistic "desperate woman" and that's why I already have my honey-do list made up. I'm pretty handy, but there are some things even I won't do. He should be able to plumb, wire, make furniture, garden, cook, support me and last but certainly not least, be handy in the sack.
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#70029 - 10/14/05 12:56 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Hi, Mustang, I took a peek at the fella whose ID you specified. It all sounds and looks good except the "relationship status" question, which he left unspecified. What does that mean? It should have stated, divorced, single, separated, married, etc. You need to know that, huh! ARI
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#70030 - 10/14/05 01:27 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Hey Ariadne54! Thanks for checking, wow good observation! I'll go back and check his postings again. He did send me another email today -- he is apparantly on business in NASHVILLE. Hmmm, . . .
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#70031 - 10/14/05 02:07 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Mustang...I think the relationship status is very important! Have the two of you discussed this? It seems odd that he would not have posted that up front! Ari
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#70033 - 10/14/05 03:23 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Da Queen
Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
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I too took a look at him and saw contrary statements. I'm guessing he is in the technical area with the headset he was wearing in the photo, yes?
He said in one place he didn't care about body type, hair color, whether or not the person smoke, drank, etc.. then in the statement below he says:
I'm looking for someone who is in charge of every aspect of their life, takes care of themselves (physically, mentally, spiritually), and has checked all their baggage before boarding the relationship express.
See now that statement about the "baggage" bothers me. Who doesn't have baggage?
He also says he looking for someone between the ages of 25 to 45. What could someone 37 have in common with someone 25? Anyway, I don't believe he is 37, he looks much older to me. Just my two cents worth.
JJ
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#70038 - 10/14/05 06:40 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Apparantly, he was a professional racer, yet quit a few years ago. I've only joined true.com, but not a paying member. I googled him as "wera453" and was able to discovery these various profiles! Yet, the one link I posted will exhibit on of his pictures. http://augusta.date.com/men-single/georgia.htm
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#70040 - 10/14/05 08:08 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Scroll down to the 6th photo!
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#70042 - 10/15/05 02:52 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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I do want to warn all of you about this: all of my posts here show up on a Google search. Mustang, if you have any concerns about this, for instance, if you are using the same name in your Singles' sites, be warned. If you have used the same name you use here, they will show up on a Google search. I had the very humiliating revelation that all of my posts on a previous forum, discussing personal matters had been viewed by the Psychology Ph.D. because I had naively used my same ID as he had found on my Ebay account! My ID here is different, but I'm still paranoid from that experience! ARI
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#70044 - 10/15/05 10:14 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Thx AR54, you're correct, yet I do not use the same login. However, yep, I searched using my login here and some of my post were available. Sorry about that professor fella. Its rather an oxy moron when we research a potential partner/date, women do it for safety and security reasons, men do it to take advantage of women. I've sent my last response to his inquiries and again have heard nothing, which is most probably for the better. Afterall, he had profiles on at least 6 dating sites.
Gosh, wish us single gals lived closer to each other! Most people I know are married or in a relationship, which is awkward for me. Also, some single women are not easy to make friends w/ b/c they think other women are in competition with potential men.
So, me, my dog and cat seem to entertain ourselves!
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#70045 - 10/15/05 11:41 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
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Where do you live MustangGal? I know we've all answered this before, but I can't find the post.
I'm in Georgia...
Whirlwind
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#70047 - 10/16/05 02:11 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Whirlwind, I'm in SC near the state capital.
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#70048 - 10/18/05 12:57 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 8
Loc: New Jersey, USA
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I am new here and single. I was intrigued and curious about the topic because when I was younger (30's) I placed a personal ad in New York magazine and met several really nice men that I dated for awhile. I see that there are 8 pages of the topic, so cyber must be the way to go these days.
p.s. I plan to read all 8 pages of this interesting topic :-)
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#70050 - 10/21/05 01:55 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Yep, I tried it! Now, not to certain about it!
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#70051 - 10/21/05 10:55 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 8
Loc: New Jersey, USA
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Hi Chatty Lady,
Thanks for the welcome and advice. I read the pages here and also took a look at some of the cyber sites. I think I will probably not go that way, but I did enjoy reading the posts. (smile)
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#70052 - 10/23/05 08:45 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2
Loc: Florida
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Sadly, none of these sites screen the members. Guess for liability reasons. I did it half heartedly for a while..met a few men...they actually were rather decent but there was no chemistry...it felt like a job interview very stressful making conversation with a stranger on the phone and then having to meet them etc. Two of the men were decent gentlemen who took me for dinner. I called both of them back and thanked them but told them it didn't look like we had enough chemistry for dating. they both took it well. One experience was awful..a guy who met me, then pretended he had a family emergency and had to leave( guess he didn't like the way I looked? ) so the experiences can vary widely. I had met and dated a man for two years from an expensive dating service who turned out to be a con man who borrowed money from me. People do get married and find love from these services and just as many or more find frustration, heartbreak, boredom...the whole gammet.. for now I find it too stressful and distracting so am giving it a pass.
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#70056 - 10/24/05 06:01 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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No, Dotsie, it is not hokey at all, I know people who met their spouse through good friends. Both friends and family know your strengths and weaknesses, thus they can determine if the person is a good fit, too.
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#70057 - 10/24/05 06:02 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Chatty, Ditto! People in general, not just men, are the same no matter where you meet them. You can find good and bad anywhere!
Dotsie, I think that is better, but what if you never meet anyone that way?
A single woman needs a private investigator fund so if you meet Mr. Right, you can be sure he didn't just get out of prison.
Daisygirl
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#70059 - 10/25/05 02:21 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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This is all very helpful and interesting. I particularly like Quitstar's characherization of a "job interview, and stressful making conversation." I've "been there, done that" more times than I care to recount, as well as actually becoming involved with a few of them.
Now, here's the latest episode: I am not searching on Internet Singles' sites, but in the past week, I met a man on Pogo, where I play Internet games. There is chat on there while games are going on. This man is in Maine; I'm in WV. He's divorced 5 years, very handsome, and has attended to the care of his ailing parents who have now recently passed away. He has been emailing me incessantly, is incredibly handsome and articulate. His plans are, now that his parents are deceased, to move to FL and a warmer climate. I have to admit, that a relationship with a retiree summering in Maine and wintering in Florida is appealing! At the same time, I am very reticent and even a bit annoyed at his constant contact with me. Why is that? Have I become a recluse? Shallow? Probably. ARI
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#70062 - 10/25/05 04:59 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 3
Loc: long island ny
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Mustang, while my message might be an older one, I must admit, my experience with dating from online have been fruitful, I see on and off again a guy who is 11 months my senior, while I want to call what "we" have an open relationship, there is that respect between the two of us also. I have dated along with he, but, in the end we come back to one another. While for me, I have learned to take each day as it is presented, as really there is nothing more any of us can do, good luck and smile
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#70064 - 10/26/05 07:27 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Ariadne54, I want you to be safe both emotionally and financially b/c desperate men are out there looking for women who will take care of them. Although your choice, please do not pursue this relationship.
I will tell ya'll a story:
I once worked w/ a secretary who was Scottish w/ auburn hair (not her natural color!) who was then married to her 2nd husband (both military) and had a child from each marriage. She divorced no. 2 to marry no. 3 who she met on line and he moved from another state. He was very flattering to her. She quite her job to be near him, when that did not work, she came back to our firm and worked. Well, after nearly 6 months of marriage to no. 3, she came home to find that he had moved out, took what he wanted, to include $$$$. She was devasted. She finally tracked him down and he was in Hawaii, when she contacted him (he did not contact her) he asked her to move there with him. She asked why had he done this, he said he was embarrased b/c he lost his job. This man was consistently desperate and would do/say/take (not pinned down) anything. This woman had to live in a co-workers garage for nearly a year while awaiting the divorce -- and to save some of the $$$$ she had lost.
She divorced no. 3 and found no. 4 on line. She moved away -- never heard from her again.
Now, I've toyed w/ on-line dating, but shall no longer pursue that avenue much longer. I don't "get out there" to advertise myself either, yet I will continue to pursue my interests and if I find someone . . . who knows!
But, if it feels right, then go with the on-line dating.
I was watching either the Today Show or something over the weekend and a website regarding "don't date that guy" .com or something was presented, if I find the website, I'll post in a new thread. Apparantly, you can view those who are liars or cheaters at these various dating sites!
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#70065 - 10/26/05 06:21 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Update: I asked this man from Maine to share some of his personal and professional history. He stated that he had been married three times, recounting the history of each. His work history has been working in various and dissimilar occupations, and apparently for the past 5 years unemployed while caring for his elderly parents. I suspect he is on a very limited income, though I have no real way of knowing this. Today, I sent him an ambivalent sounding letter, hoping to distance myself from him, and rec'd a nice letter in response, not offended or pressuring in any way. I'm relieved! I hate to hurt someone's feelings, but, in truth, this sounds like pulling another creature from the vast ocean of the Internet. Thanks all of you. ARI
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#70066 - 10/26/05 06:35 PM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Queen of Shoes
Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
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#70068 - 10/27/05 01:03 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 04/02/05
Posts: 233
Loc: WV
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Hi, Boomers, I haven't written since my ambivalent reply to him, and came home from work today feeling relieved not to be hearing from him. I simply don't want to deal with a relationship now, possible ever again. I was talking to my daughter this past weekend telling her how happy and content I'm feeling, and equating that to being "man-free," to which she acknowledged she had seen the patterns I've repeated over the past 8 years. At long last, I seem to be seeing the patterns too! It's an odd and new feeling not to be stressed over some man! I like it! ARI
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#70070 - 10/27/05 01:40 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
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#70071 - 11/11/05 05:02 AM
Re: Cyber Dating
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Member
Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 99
Loc: San Francisco
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I'm having a great time today going to all the forums I haven't seen yet and finding topics of interest. I've been doing the internet dating thing for 2 1/2 years (after 18 years of being absolutely alone, no dates, no nothin'). I ended up dating the very first guy for 8 months until I realized I couldn't deal with his fiscal irresponsibility, the litter on the floor, and his political views. There have been a number of other connections since but nothing beyond 3-5 dates. Thought I had a winner a year ago (at least he had most of the characteristics I was looking for in a man and was "swept away" by me, a nice feeling)...but his former girlfriend got cancer and he went back to care for her. But every couple of months a new prospect pops up, we do some e-mailing, some phone conversations, meet for coffee. Haven't had one run off in the middle but a couple made a pretty hasty exit at the end!! Only scary one, surprisingly, was one with my same profession (a clinical psychologist). Thank goodness we never met. He got exceptionally weird on me after a chatty little phone conversation.
I just haven't found any other way to meet men. Nobody sets me up, there are no single men at church, I can't date my patients!, no single men as colleagues. Have never met someone in a class. And have given up the bars (that's where I met the two husbands...both alcoholics surprise, surprise).
Have a hot prospect I'm meeting this weekend. Hope reigns eternal. He almost sounds TOO good to be true. I have learned to be very cautious and very skeptical. My dating mantra is ... ah, well.
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