A marriage is a partnership, it doesn't sound like your husband understands that. I've been home rasing kids for over 24 years and if my husband even hinted that the money was his because he earned it, I wouldn't stay with him for 1 more minute. Then most of "his" money would be mine, since I'd have all the kids.

LSmith5434, Obviously you DID contribute a whole lot, and his not acknowledging it is emotionally stingy on his part. He sounds very selfish, even if he provides for you materially. Your post says a lot about his value system, or lack thereof.

"Everything is your fault" because he's unhappy and you're the nearest emotional punching bag. Arguing with him is useless, because this is not about logic -- it's about his self-imposed martyr status. Sounds too much like the situation here, unfortunately, and I consider myself the expert on this crap.

When he leaves to live in the 2nd home full-time, he'll blame it all on you. Count your blessings because he'll be gone.

In the mean time, I agree with Beachlady -- find something that interests you. You've invested 41 years in this marraige and an ungrateful husband. Now it's time to invest in yourself.

Lynne, give yourself a break from his sadness. YOu are a worthy individual and you know it. Start looking out for yourself. Gat together with friends, make new friends, step out and create your dreams! You are so deserving!