Smile, I agree there is a big difference between confession and repentence. Anybody can confess to doing something but that doesn't mean they are sorry.--and there's even a difference between I'm sorry I got caught and I'm sorry I hurt someone. If they aren't grieved over what's been done then I don't think it's genuine.

Norma--yes there will be days when you may feel you have to go back and start over at the beginning. that's OK. Forgiveness is a process. If you can imagine the roots of a plant for a moment. A plant doesn't just have one root. There are many roots and tons of tiny, tiny roots that shoot off the main roots. When unforgiveness (or bitterness, jealousy etc) have been allowed to take root there will be this kind of 'root system' all over your heart and mind. You may think you've dug out the root, but when you feel you have to go back and start over it just means that God has shown you that there was another little root that you need to deal with before it grows any bigger.

I know it's easy to get discouraged, but take heart! Starting over and working through again just means you are one step closer to being totally free of this once and for all!

Starting Over ..... as i think more on your description i cant help but smile ..... understanding is as warm sunshine eh ... For me, certain incidences which have happened, were poisonous plants and some kept reseeding ..... but now while the tap roots have been removed, evidence of their presence does still remain... if i say, you have given me a new 'trowel' and a good new seed, i think, you will quickly know how much it's appreciated .

i was just thinking also, you have given me a new word to possibly identify my faith ... 'gardener'.
Or would that be too presumptious ?

<small>[ March 14, 2006, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: norma ]</small>

I do see the difference between confession and repentence. Repentence, as I understand it, is turning over a new leaf and we may have to turn over a new leaf daily. For some of us it is a struggle. I try each day to take a moment to give up or cede that day to Christ and let him take the wheel.

Which reminds me, Carrie Underwood just released a song which touches my heart and brings a tear to my eye called, "Jesus take the wheel." I love it and I'm not a country western fan.

Today I asked God to forgive me if I have been arrogant or hurtful to anyone and asked him to take control of me and my life and help me find a way out of the prison I am in.

There are all kinds of incarceration. Some are physical and some are emotional and mental. My prison is of my own making, but in all temptations, Christ has made a way out. I asked him to show me the way out or help me to find peace where I am. I want to be strong for my daughter and GD.

I have confessed my sin and repented of it and am now trusting God to help me find a healthy way out besides crawling into a bottle.

Norma, I'm not sure what you are referring to at the end of your message, "a new word to identify your faith--gardener". ?

Are you feeling like your faith is just now being planted in good soil where it can root?

Or are you meaning that you feel your position in the Kingdom is gardener--ie nurturer?

I'm curious as to what you meant there--fill me in please!

hi Starting Over.. well .... i have come to some definite beliefs through the years ....but i am no longer christian and wont be 'converting' to another faith group, so how can i identify myself ? How can i put in words, the various things i think life is all about ? How do i express a "way' ..... which i am always learning more about? Seems like 'gardener' can descripe what i mean .... within our own bodies, is a physical structure, not unlike a seedling, young or mature tree .... and each tree is a world in itself, absorbing, putting forth, giving shelter, providing nourishment, stabalizing the ground around it .... and every single tree is part of the greater forest or garden..... and yet we are more than trees as we can bend down and pick up, we can plant and root out ... we can plant flowers so scentful and colourful, butterflys and bees will come, birds will sing.... or we can throw garbage out onto the moss, old furniture into the creek .... let the dandelions take over .... you know what i mean ?

This planet is a garden, a forest, a desert and much much more ... who am i while here ?

<small>[ March 15, 2006, 04:52 AM: Message edited by: norma ]</small>

That's beautifully put, Norma. We are referred to in God's Word as husbandmen. That means caretakers of all that has been given to us.

I think we can find "lessons" in a lot of activities. God speaks to us using just about any medium he can. The Bible says that even nature recognizes the presence of their creator. God knows when even one little sparrow falls to the ground and knows each and every hair on your head. It even says he collects your tears and cherishes them.

That makes you very special to him whether or not you choose to accept his love and the sacrifice he made for you. That's good news, eh?

You are a nice lady.

Forgiveness is always a choice.

Corrie ten Boom was born in Holland. Her father gave Jews refuge in their home and he and his family were eventually caught and imprisoned in concentration camps. Actually, I think her father had a heart attack and died before imprisonment but Corrie and her older sister were sent to one of the more well known dreadful camps...Auschwitz maybe? Can't remember.

Anyway, Corrie survived, her sister died. While in the camp, she and her sister started a Bible study. They lived in fear of the guards finding out about the Bible study but God sent them fleas.

Yes...fleas. The guards wouldn't go into the sleeping rooms because the fleas were so bad so Corrie and her sister could share the Gospel without fear of being caught.

Corrie called herself a "tramp for the Lord" as she went across the world telling others about Jesus. She never had her own home after leaving the concentration camp; she always stayed with other people.

At some point in her travels, she found herself in the USA, the midwest. In the audience was one of the German guards at her concentration camp. She began to struggle with God...why did you let him be here? Surely he's not a Christian!?

She said God told her, "he's my child and I love him just as I love you." She continued to struggle wth God, "I can't believe you would let him be here tonight. Why tonight?" God said to her, "so you can forgive him."

ME!? Why should I forgive HIM?

She talks of her struggle with God and how God told her, "if you can't forgive him, how can I forgive you?" Corrie said after she finished talking, she went to the guard and told him how they knew each other and he was seized with fear. She told him she forgave him because Christ had forgiven her and they were now brother and sister in Christ. She said he began to cry, she began to cry, everyone around them began to cry.

Don't you know angles were rejoicing in that room with them? Don't you know the great heart of God was overwhelmed with those two people? I've often wondered how many lives were changed in that room that night. How many people will be in eternity because they witnessed such great love that was only possible because of Christ?

The end of the story...the last five years of Corrie's life were spent in bed, being tended to by others. She had a stroke and could only move her eyes and eyelids. She could respond only by blinking her eyes or turning her eyes. She spent her last five years in prayer, tramping in her mind "for her Lord".

I love Corrie's story. I think people like her have a special calling on their lives. God knows who can handle a life like that and who can't. I don't think just anyone could have withstood the harshness of her life or had the faith to sustain her through it.

What a positive story. Makes one really stop and think. Thanks for sharing Sandra....

Thistle, I read her book Don't Wrestle, Just Nestle last year. It's an oldie but a goodie.

I recall one of my favorite lines. It's something like this...and all the while God is waiting for us to calm down so He can be at work within us.

I can picture Him sitting there patiently and waiting for our craziness to pass.

We can get so wrapped up in worry and fear when all we need to do is STOP and turn to Him.

She also shared that though she traveled the world being a tramp for God, she was safest when at the center of the will of God!

I love her. What books of hers have you read?