Candice, your post reminds me of dealing with issues when we are not directly involved with a controversial topic. Know what I mean?

I think you are so smart to post about this and work through feelings, ideas, thoughts, etc. when you aren't directly involved in a personal confrontation/discussion.

A little off the topic, but similar idea is this:
My husband and I have this book from earlier in our marriage that was a daily devotional. Every day there was a Bible verse with a little interpretation and a topic for us to discuss. The topics all had to do with raising children, in-laws, how we were raised, our coping mechanisms, how our parents managed their emotions, how we were disciplined, what would we do in a given moral/immoral situation, etc.

The idea was that we were forced to have conversations about important issues when we weren't faced with a specific one at the time. Later, as we faced similar situations (ones we had discussed), we had a feel for where each other was coming from.

A form of preventive medicine...

Well, I remember dating a Puerto Rican man in my twenties and having my mother throw a fit, and then when I dated some Venezuelan men, I never told her about it. Some of them were very dark, and we were always told to stay with our own kind, but then we were always encouraged to be friends with all races and religions.

I remember seeing Dotsie's father different places after all the grandchildren were born (and there are a slew of them!!)and having him take out his wallet and show them all off, but he would always point to the pictures of Dotsie's oldest boy and her girl (the 2 that are Korean) and say, "I think these two look the most like me, don't you?" to onlookers. It was always good for a laugh..especially because he is Irish-American to the hilt!!

Don't know the answer and don't know what I would do personally. I just know that I drive a school bus for Baltimore City and the things I see and hear from the children on the bus are just not what I want any child to be seeing, doing or hearing. These are black, white, Hispanic and Asian children...and every combination of that you can think of. It's a real shame--and I am always trying to teach them to do the right thing, but I am only one person in a sea of children that need much more supervision then they are getting.

When all of our people are mixed, that is when this mess will stop. I commend anyone who is stong enough to follow their hearts. It may be a hard path, but it is a path that must be taken.
also, do not think that everyone who stares thinks something bad of you. I often find myself staring at people. anyone. I love to look at good looking black men. so if you are with a good looking black man, well, sorry, I'm not thinking about race, I'm thinking about sugar. (But I only look, never touch another's man, that's my rule.)
Keep going, your kids will be fine. I know many interatal children and they are fine. Raise them with love and respect and self respect and they will flurish. Remember it takes two decades to raise them. by then things will be differnt. Time does change things.

Welcome back Micki!! I am so excited you are posting again. I can remember my grandfather telling my one cousin he looked more and more like him everyday. That was just his way of dealing with things, incredible positive. I can also remember when he first found out about my husband that he says, like he usually does, "Well honey, as long as your happy, just give it some time."

I think it was funny that you bring up that you were told to stick with your own kind, yet be friends with people of different races. I found out how people can say they don't think race is an issue for them until something like this happens. It was especially dissapointing for me with friends from high school who truly felt like I was doing something wrong and balmed me for breaking up our little group because some of them were uncomfortable with it. Since we didn't go to school with anyone but white suburban kids, it never came up and when it did, I found out a lot more about my friends, some of it for the worst.

SP you are so funny. Anytime people look at us, my husband always says, "Well if you weren't such a hoochie, maybe no one would stare."
Also big thanks for the encouragement about the kids and everything. I know they, like my husband and I, will be surrounded by so many supportive people that they will be secure in who they are.

Thanks for some of your replies. I will finish the story but teaching, reportcards, yearbook, exams -all time consuming. Soon.

Candice, you hoochie! I love it!

Caloona, can't wait for you to jump back in. I am thinking about the love you expressed for your daughter-in-law in your post about Easter baskets. How beautiful.