Deb, don't give up, but maybe you should take a break. Back off and see what happens. Pray for your daughter's heart to soften. I will do the same.

I do think you are right. It's very hard but I also feel that I have a right to have a good life, and if they are hurting me then I should back away. I hope the grandchildren will remember me. My daughter and her husband have not been to visit us in five years. We would go and pick up the kids and bring them to stay with us over holiday and summer school vacations.
I know I said my husband is a rice cake. He is really a very good man, I just cannot understand his lack of emotion when I am in such turmoil. He is trying. He does not want to cause any more waves because he wants to keep an avenue open to see the grandchildren. He is right, but I do believe they will shut him out as soon as they think they have a reason to be angry with him. I am just thankful that I found this website. I am doing well right now, but whenever there is any contact with them I go down hill again. Thanks again.

Deb, by cutting you out of their lives this gives them their own reason to think they don't have to pay you back.

I would leave them alone for awhile too. They are treating you like a doormat because they know they are wrong for not honoring their fiscal responsibilities.

My husband never likes to make waves with others who treat us poorly. It use to irk me too but people just do not bother him and he's able to laugh off people like this.

These really are thoughtless, rude people. I think they would at least have their children write thank you notes for the gifts you send them. I'd stop any gifts there too. If you feel you must have contact with your grandchildren send them a card with a short note asking them about their lives.

Your grandchildren are fast coming to the age where they'll be able to see who's wrong here just as I finally did. I saw that my own mom was wrong in how she treated her family and my dad's side of the family.

You're a good person, just keep up your faith.

[ December 20, 2005, 12:51 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]