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#44979 - 03/12/04 07:10 PM couple weeks
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Ladies, what's the matter here? It's been since Feb. 23 since someone posted in this forum. Where's the queen when you need her? Are we losing our sense of humor? Gonna have to do something about that. [Big Grin]

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#44980 - 03/14/04 01:49 AM Re: couple weeks
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
In answer to your call for HUMOR, I have decided to offer these two Rhymes I wrote for The Washington Times newspapers lunchroom when the items covered became a problem.....

RESPECT THE WORKPLACE..... [Razz]

Micro wave gadget, makes micro wave magic,
A potato bakes in three.
Yet micro wave gadget with all of it's magic,
is not self cleaning you see.
So if you use it, please don't abuse it,
clean up the drips inside.
Because if you forget to, the dirt fairy will get you and she's going to tan your hide. [Embarrassed]

OFFICE ICE ETTIQUETTE.... [Roll Eyes]

This makes twice, I've needed some ice...and found all the ice trays bare.
If your the "ice mouse" remember this isn't your house, it's our office a place we all share.
Lets start fresh from today, if you use, fill the tray, even if you just take a few pieces.
But if you must be a louse mouse, we're not going to grouse, there are better ways to deal with bad mieces. [Mad]

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#44981 - 03/15/04 04:49 PM Re: couple weeks
Candice Johnson Offline
Member

Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 416
Loc: Alexandria, VA
I am going to tape it to the microwave. We definitely have some gross people at the office.

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#44982 - 03/15/04 10:52 PM Re: couple weeks
Thistle Cove Farm Offline
Member

Registered: 01/01/04
Posts: 678
Loc: Tazewell County, VA, USA
A man was returning home a day early from his business trip because he'd suspected his wife was having an affair. It was after midnight when he caught a cab at the airport. While in route to his home, he asked the driver if he'd go into his home with him for $100., as he suspected his wife was having an affair and if he caught her with another man, he'd need a witness. For $100, the cabby agreed.

The husband & cabby tiptoed into the bedroom and sure enough his wife was with another man. The husband put a gun to the man's head.

The wife shouted, "Don't, Edward, this man has been too generous! I didn't inherit any money as I said I did - he paid for the new Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our home at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head, the husband lowered the gun & asked the cab driver, "What would you do?"

The cabby said, "I'd cover him up with that blanket before he catches a cold."

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#44983 - 03/15/04 11:05 PM Re: couple weeks
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Chatty, I should post the first one on our microwave at home! [Eek!]

Someone told me they have these cloths that you put in the microwave and hit a few seconds and poof...all clean. Anyone know who makes them?

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#44984 - 03/15/04 11:07 PM Re: couple weeks
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Thistle, for the love of money...ha! [Razz]

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#44985 - 03/16/04 02:11 AM Re: couple weeks
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
This joke warranted calling Mom and sharing. She laughed so loud and it reminded me how much I love to hear her laughter. Thanks Thistle woman...your like milk, you do a body good!

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#44986 - 03/16/04 03:44 AM Re: couple weeks
Thistle Cove Farm Offline
Member

Registered: 01/01/04
Posts: 678
Loc: Tazewell County, VA, USA
Someone sent me some doctor stories...this one made me laugh -

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
--won't admit his name

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#44987 - 03/18/04 05:32 AM Re: couple weeks
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
A little 85 year old woman who was afraid of the dentist had to go to have her remaining teeth worked on. She was half asleep in the chair when the young handsome dentist entered the room. He began looking into her mouth and probing about when suddenly she reached out and grabbed him by his privates. He took a deep breathe saying, madame do you know what your doing? She smiled sweetly and said, yes sonny, and if you don't hurt me, I won't hurt you. [Big Grin]

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#44988 - 03/18/04 12:22 PM Re: couple weeks
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Love it Chatty! I think I'll try that next Dentist app't! [Big Grin]

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