Daisygirl, you live by the same rule as I do. I never, ever, date anyone who has been divorced less than a year. Before I realized that they (the ones under a year) were simply looking for a replacement, I did and found out really quick that the emotional baggage left behind, whether their fault or the spouses, needed time to heal and they weren't prepared or even wanted a new, budding, and healthy relationship. They simply wanted a replacement, fast. If you dated them several times, they were immediately ready to move it to the next level. Whoa Nellie! Not so fast partner (pun was NOT intended)...

I also agree with Dotsie's comments that men AND women have been thrust into a different mold and roles since the baby boomers have become of age because the choices are soooo diverse in this generation. Not what your Mamma and Daddy had. There are so many more ways to do things, and this means growing in different ways and re-learing or breaking the "molds" from our childhood.

JJ

Yes, I got tired of being Dr. Laura (my real name). lol

My daughter has a term for the first relationship after a breakup. She calls it "A getting out girl--or getting out guy." I think she's right. And I think everyone ending a relationship needs one--or maybe several-- in order 'get out.'

My policy was never to invest any emotion in a guy out of a long term relationship less than a year. Now that's not to say I didn't enjoy being "a getting out girl" once in a while. At that stage men are so "maleable" if you get my drift, but I sure didn't expect them to be responsible in any way.

I just had to remember it getting out girl is a sort of bandaid and be prepared to move on when he emotionally healed from his previous relationship.

A couple of those guys are still my friends.

smile