Dianne, you don't need her. She has the traits of any abusive person: creating guilt trips, throwing things back in our face, dishonoring your success, disrespecting your space, insulting you, jealousy, and possessiveness. You would not keep an abusive man, so you have every right to end a friendship with an abusive woman. A friend who turned out to be toxic I ignored her calls and letters. In retrospect, I realized I should have given her the reasons for my need to distance myself from her. A decade later I developed a friendship with some one who was as toxic. She told me everything about me that irritated her, just like an unkind man would. When I realized this, I wrote her a letter telling her why I wanted to end the friendship. I don't know which way is the "right" way. Perhaps you could write a letter and not send it, just so that you have aired your feelings. During cancer, I had a bad fight with a good friend. We were both nasty. She said, "I've never seen you this way before." I said, "I never had cancer before." This friend and I were able to return to our real love for each other, and after surviving my cancer, I know we will survive anything. You deserve friends who support your success, not degrade it due to HER envy. Love and Light, Lynn

You're all right. She's always snooping around, looking for problems in my life, which I suppose, makes her feel better about her own life. I think I will write that letter and never send it. Thanks.

The saying is true,"misery loves company" that's why I ditched my toxic friend. The better my life became the worse she acted.

It sounds like you have a good solution. Writing the letter will let you say what you want and purge your anger but not sending it will not play into her hands.

Dianne,write the letter and don't send it. But be prepared for the next email.

Lynn, I appreciate your honesty. Maybe it was my Catholic upbringing, but I have a hard time cutting people out of my life. Your words made me realize it's okay to do so. Thank you.

Hi Dotsie, I grew up Catholic too, and I'm still in recovery. I don't think that shaped my notion that I could end relationships. It's within the last decade that I became able to pick and choose my friends, versus the other way around. I do think that the people we meet make an impression for eternity. That does not mean we have to be with them when the time has come that a relationship has gone bad. It wouldn't be healthy, would it? Love and Light, Lynn

Dianne -

I agree with these smart ladies -- write the letter for YOU -- ignore the email.

Throwing a prayer in your face is abusive and an attempt to "guilt you" back into her life -- she has stepped over the boundaries -- people like that wont understand an explaination anyway -- they'll just twist it around to fit their needs

If she emails again - post it and we'll offer suggestions on where to go from there -- but for now -- I'm sure you have better things to do ;-)

Want me to send Luwanda (Bubba and Earl's first cousin, removed several times) to pay her visit?

It would be no prob...just let me know.

JJ

JJ, you're too funny. I think I'm over this person and her stupid email. I let it simmer on a back burner for a few days and decided I'm not going to respond to her snide message, not even in love. It's time for her to move on and her email pretty well shows me she has run through other friends just like she did with me and must be needing to come back to me...starting all over again. Full circle girlfriend usage or something like that.

I too had a friendship go south on me all because I was dating a person who from a different culture. The grandmother of this family passed and they rented me her place after I had separated from my first marriage. When they found out I was seeing someone who wasn't white enough for them they came to the house and
had me remove my personal belongings right then and there. Then sent me a very nasty letter afterwards about my pick of men to date.
Many of my friends wanted me to sue them for the eviction, take it to the media and so on.
I totally ignored them. My feelings were what goes around comes around. Guess what, it did!
The husband fell off their roof about a year later and died. The girlfriend was divorced with 2 years from her perfect little marriage. I haven't heard a word about them in years and they simply don't exsist in my world anymore. Me, I married that man and have a wonderful marriage of 14 years. Of course right now I do have that stepson problem that many of you know about, but that too shall pass.
Diane, I would write the letter to vent it out and not send it. Then let sleeping dogs lie.
Also say another prayer...
Let Go...Let God
Perhaps writing the letter in this forum may be a great way to help you make the right decision.
Hope that I have been able to help you as others here have helped me.
Mary

Maybe it's my age. But I have no patience anymore for people who try to "guilt trip" you into being their friend (or boyfriend).

True friends, when the winds of life blow, are willing to sway with you through both the stormy days and the calm ones.

Just my two cents...

Whirlwind