Thank you Jabber. We are getting ready for the drive to my parents hometown for the memorial service. It's so surreal - two funerals in 6 months. It will be almost the exact same service as dads.

Love to all of my boomer girl friends. You are all a very important part of my life - my circle of online friends.

Anno, I thought this might be interesting for you. I spoke to a lady in my mother's senior home. The ladies husband has Alzheimer, and she visits him every afternoon. She told me that her husband had left the home yesterday, and couldn't be found anywhere. Finally some people brought him back to the home. He was walking aimlessly around the underground garage, which is miles long. Then the lady said, this is what happens when the facility is an "open" one. She has to decide now whether to put her husband in a confined one. And she said it's her responsibility to decide where he should be, and therefore can't blame the nurses if they don't control who comes and goes.
It sort of made sense to me. I just wanted to share this with you, as food for thought. And maybe save you from spending high lawyer fees.

Anno,
I think gims lost her parents rather close together, too. gims has a wonderful spirit; perhaps she can say something that would
help. When I lost my dad and mom, I felt like my heart had dropped out of my chest. So words wisdom escape me. Just let yourself grieve, I guess. God love ya! We love ya!

I think you are right, Edelweiss. We chose to have mother in an open facility. I do not lay any blame on them for her wandering out and about. What I do take issue with is that no one looked for her for 16-20 hours after she left the facility. She had med checks 3 times a day, and was reported missing at dinner time.

I am sure she was dead by that time. But why wasn't 911 called by the end of dinner time, when she was found not in her apartment. She died in a very undignified way - and then lay there for an entire night exposed to the elements and the animals.

This was and is negligence on the part of the facility.

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking that now I would need to find a new place for mother. I must have been dreaming.

I am grieving, and finding peace. As I have stated before, I am in acceptance - I would prefer an early death than a miserable one. Both of my parents were lucky that way.

Gims always has words of wisdom for me....

No one looking for your mother for 16-20 hours is unforgivable. Yes, I think without a doubt, you have a case here.
I just want you to know that I think of you daily. Sending a warm loving hug from Germany!
Edelweiss

Anno, as always you have my love and prayers during this trying time for you and your family. Darling please know you are always in my thoughts. Blessings and faith!

Anno, I can't believe this. That is unheard of. My FIL is an an Alzheimer's facility. The night he fell and banged his head in the common area, they found him sleeping on the floor, bleeding, within an hour. That is when we learned that they check on every patient, every hour, night and day. One of the staff does a run through of the 15 patients on their unit. This place is unlocked during the day so the patients can walk in an outdoor area with benches and gardens, tables, etc that is totally locked off to the rest of the world. The only way they could excape is to climb a fence that's about 9-12 feet high, and it's a wooden picket type fence.

I am so sorry this happened to your mom. What a pitiful shame. However, I'm so grateful that you are finding peace that she is with your dad, and that she is no longer suffering.

My MIL died in the hospital, and it never should have happened. Because she wanted off this earth so badly, we decided it was God's way of taking her home to Him. Pitiful becasue it was negligence on the hospital staff, but in her best interest. That's the only way to look at it.

New Jersey hugs for Anno! I am so sorry for your loss.

Having lost just about my entire family, I struggle every day to accept that they are all in a much better place, and with God's grace, we will all be re-united one day.

May your parents rest in eternal peace!

Your God is already with you in spirit. Helping you to maintain your health too...thats 'vital. You both are a truly amazing family without,your compassion and sweetness, we will Pops foea pint and sausauge and mash!!! He loved it!!

My heart is with you

Poppie

Anno, I spoke with the woman who works on my FIL's unit last night. I shared what happened to your mom and she was shocked that patients didn't have to be accounted for throughout the day. Here's what they do. You might find it helpful.

Now you have to remember that this is a place for all Alzheimer's patients who are known to wander.

Every hour, a staff member has to account for everyone on their unit. Each unit has 15 patients. They have a book where they have to post the location of the patient, then initial. If they aren't in their room, then they have to look for them until they can record their where-abouts.

Just thought it might be helpful to know the practices of other care facilities.

I continue to think about, and pray for you.