Eagleheart, I think I could get addicted to games too, so I won’t even start playing them.

I think it’s easier for women to treat online friendships more lightly than ‘live’ friendships. It’s so easy to disappear in the cyberspace, without anyone chasing after you. I certainly noticed that on BWS. Many ladies just disappeared without a word. Me? I’m one of the loyal ones. Facebook or the other sites can’t replace the conversations we have here. I’m on Facebook, and oddly enough most of my friends on Facebook come right from this forum. If I weren’t a member here…I would have only three or four friends on Facebook. So I might as well correspond here. I think it’s easier, and we can post photos here just as well.

I respect you wanting to keep your privacy and not share photos, as many here feel as you do. But at the same time, opening up to your friends and showing them who you are and how you live does help bond. In my opinion it’s easier to keep a friend if you share more about yourself.

So many friends have come and gone in my life. I’ve changed too, and tend to seek friends with whom I have things in common with. If you welcome new people in your life with an open heart and mind, you will find that can be a pretty exciting and interesting road to take. The old road doesn’t always have to be the better one.

One of my 3 friends(the one I cherished the most) on facebook had something like 150 friends. They just kept growing each day. I just don't think you can have close bonds with that many people?? She always told me I was "her best bud" but then I'd see she told others that too, so I don't know if it was ever the relationship that I believed it was.

I'm ready to move on. Like Edelweiss said "the old road doesnt have to be the better one" I feel so much better today because each of you have been so helpful and kind and full of wisdom.

Hi to each of you I havent met yet. I'm really happy to be here and hope I can contribute and be your friend. I have read each reply and truly think you are all wonderful ladies.

Thanks Again

Nora

Edelweiss, the addictive part of the games is the requirement to collect gifts and bonuses every few hours...I have a friend who plays all of the games that I do, and she used to actually set her alarm clock to wake up in the middle of the night to collect those nightly gifts. I talked to her about it, and helped her to see the craziness of that behaviour, especially when it was causing symptoms of sleep deprivation. Now she shuts her computer down at bedtime and doesn't open it again until she wakes up.

I think that I'm not as addicted to the games as I am to the people who play them with me. I've met WONDERFUL real people who are housebound for various reasons, one in a wheelchair, one due to severe anxiety (worse than mine), another because of chronic pain and fatigue (worse than mine). Since I'm home most of the time, and have the time and enjoy their presence in my life, the games provide us with a forum to chat and keep each other company through the day.

I don't see it as a "them vs us" thing, I see both filling different voids and needs in my life. I love this place, but when I'm crawling through one of my dark patches, which unfortunately is my reality with chronic depression and especially with all the grief over the past few years, I don't want to inflict that on anyone and here, it's impossible for me not to leak when I speak. At Facebook, playing games provides escape from the mangled thoughts and gives me a chance to provide companionship for others who also feel dark and alone.

I like having both outlets/forums in my life...when I can contribute meaningfully here without leaking pain and angst all over the place, I do. When the grief is too heavy and I'm in a mangled place, it's better for me to find ways to refocus.

There are people on FB who need me these days. I've tried to bring them here, but it's too soon. There's one woman in particular who I've come to love so much, I cannot even consider leaving her; she is perhaps my number 1 reason for spending so much time there.

I love BWS, and I really love seeing so many of my sisters on FB as well as here. It's true, a lot of FB is superficial, but not all of it...I'm not a fake, I can vouch for that. But when it comes to true heart connections, nothing can take the place of this place!

I was up again last night until nearly 4:30 a.m. trying to figure out some of the stuff on Facebook. I have an apartment there with tons of gifts and things I have purchased but can't find out how to decorate/incoporaqte them into my apartment. I went to bed last night all ticked off, so I may drop the darn thing and concentrate on something else, something simpler and profitable...geesh!

Chatty, what game is that? There is probably a link to the instructions for that game.

The only ones I play regularly are Farm Town and Scrabble. Most of my time on Facebook is spent with friends but I don't go overboard. I log on in the morning and post, then go about my day and if I have time mid-day, I post again. Then not until late at night, like now. LOL.

Most on my list are family and friends locally, so we also do a lot of things together in person; many know each other so it is like one big party. Facebook is a neat place for us to meet when we are at home doing other things (yay for multitasking LOL).

Scrabble... I really love the Facebook version! Keeps the score for you and your friends. : )

Hilarious... when they are at restaurants my friends post pictures of the dishes they are about to eat (with the iPhone), and it becomes mouth-watering. Shortly after that, we all dash out for similar food!
Last night's Dallas game... they were posting live stuff from the game and more. Awesome!

About the only things I do on Facebook is announce a new blog or some other writing-related thing, visit with my family group of STAGGERS (my maiden name), and my high school class, about 167 people.

I do play Bejeweled some, but I DO NOT participate in any of the farm town, mafia, or whatever those things are. I have no desire to do that. To each his own, yes? I also DO NOT send hearts, flowers, kisses, or any of that other stuff...nor do I accept them. And events...nope. So please do not be offended if I don't send you back something like that. I always click "ignore," and the reason I do is a friend, actually two friends, got a virus on their computer from those things. Or at least they believe that is where it came from....so I don't take chances.

I've had one...and let me tell you, if you ever do, you will not want another one.

I just use it like a telephone, if you will...to reach out and touch my friends, then hang up. LOL!

Welcome, Nora. I am a long time BWS gal, albiet absent quite a bit lately. I come and go in spurts, depending on my time constraints and my needs. I joined NABBW because I was trying to promote my life coaching business. What I found was BWS, a group of genuine, warm, helpful and loving women who are truly concerned about each other. I no longer have time in my life for coaching, but that has not stopped me from staying a member, here.

I do facebook, but only with people I already know. I have fellow teachers, BWS ladies, and a few family members that I communicate with. I don't play the games, or post pictures or any of that other jazz. Like JJ, I also ignore all gifts, etc. If someone sends me a friend request, and I do not know them, I will send them an email and ask why they want to be my friend. Sometimes it's legit (a woman whose husband has MSA, like my husband), but most of the time we simply went to the same college, or something.

I have had many friends, come and go, in my life. Some have been in person friends, and some have been virtual. It's difficult not to take it personally, but sometimes we just need to accept what we cannot change. I have met 3 women from here, and have become closer because of the personal meeting. I hope to meet more.

And let me take this opportunity to thank, once again, all of the boomer women that have rallied around me over the past two years. You have enriched my life in ways that you will never, ever know.

Let me add one more thing to my loooooong post above (forgive) and that is if you are a bud of mine on FB, and you use it for your political agenda, more than likely, I will block your post.

FB is my safe haven, just like BWS, to come and be with friends and family...and yes, tell a bit about my writing, my passion for writing, and all that it involves but mostly to socialize and that does not include political crap. I get so tired of it!

Forgive me if I've stepped on any political toes...I mean it. I am not telling this to offend anyone, but to let you know what I use FACEBOOK for; and my feelings on it.

It is definitely a "to each his own" place there and I think everyone should post whatever their little old hearts desire, but for me, it isn't a forum for the aforementioned. At least, not for my home there.

I'm going to get hate mail...I just know it. But there you have it.

JJ, I've had to block people's feeds from my FB wall too, because of language, political agendas and weird behaviour. We do have to create a safe place for ourselves there, because it's inherently unsafe without our actively creating boundaries. There are many "gifts" that I refuse to open because of the fear of a computer virus. For a long time I rarely posted any of my activities online, not wanting to add to the clutter, especially since it all shows up on other people's walls too. But then I realized that some of those postings connect other people to each other...I still try to "keep it down" to bare miniumum, but get carried away with some of the other girls I play with.

It's fun, but not without its risks. If I didn't ignore half of the gifts, requests and causes people sent me, it would take me days just to open one day's worth! Not fun.

I like FB for certain holes in my life, but BWS is my home-away-from-home.

Hubby's drilling a BIG hole in the bedroom ceiling - hard to concentrate. Looks awefully big to me...

And what's interesting is that some use it for their political agenda only. Not me! Some use Twitter for that purpose too.

I use it for work and I think that ticks some people off. Whatever makes us happy.