You are all crazy...and I'm not talking about the animals!

Actually I'm just jealous because I sit here and laugh at your posts and feel so absentminded because I can't think of one clever thing to add. I even have a dog who could get in on the action!

Willow here, Mary's pit bull, terrier mix. Don't let the pit bull part scare you, I'm just trying to be honest, unlike Mary, who usually tries to pass me off as simply a terrier mix. And what's with this "Agate" name she's using?

I'm upset this morning because I got yelled at for eating the cat food. Just because I was in the barn, Mary assumed I had eaten the cat food.

OK, so I usually do eat the cat food, and yes, I was on my way to eat the cat food, but I was caught in the barn before I actually managed to eat the cat food. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?

Sure, Mary apologized, but I'm still mad at her. She actually used the "shame" word on me.

Willow

This is Shy, Mary's barn cat. Don't you dare feel sorry for that sneaky, conniving dog Willow.

If Mary hadn't stopped her, she would have eaten the cat food, just like she does every day. She not only eats my cat food, she licks the dish of every last morsel. Yuck! Like I need dog germs!

I never eat Willow's dog food. Maybe I would if it wasn't locked up in the house, but I doubt it. It obviously must not taste as good as my cat food.

If you want to take Willow with on your grand escape, feel free to do so.

Shy

This is Boots, Sherri's BIG dog. My full name is Boots Randolph Smith, and if you want to swing by and pick up Lady and take her, be my guest! She is an interloper and decided to be queen of the house. She always gets her way!!

I on the other hand, love the grandkids and people and I am so friendly, I can't believe that they back up when they see me. I am a Beagle/Lab mix and well I will admit it, I am big! About 64 lbs now, Sherri has me on a diet. Like everyone should suffer just cause she does. Yuck. Well, Lady is up here looking over my shoulder and Sherri will be home for lunch soon, just wanted to introduce myself. Pet's Rule! Yeah, woof, woof.

Boots

Yo...Trixster here.

I want everyone to stop what they are doing, take a deep breath and repeat after moi...k?

I WILL NOT TALK ABOUT MY BRO OR SISTAH...

Come on K-9's and Fees (short for felines)! UNITED WE STAND! (saw that on a Law and Order Special the other night).

Now, I want Reeta & Rosee, the Yorkshire Terriers with da good blood to be nice to the other dogs and cats taken in there, the birds, reptiles, goats but I'm here to tell ya, you get a reprieve on the burro. What tha heck is a burro? Sounds like supper. That one gotta go... Maybe let that one swim in the pool? what? Think bout this...the cock-a-too could be used as a lookout for when you wanted to use the computer and YOU KNOW WHO was expected...

Okay, moving on...Willow hon...Canine...Dog hon...we're gonna have to do some work on the cat food thing, but not to worry, we'll either get cha some help, or hey, we'll get you your own supply of cat food, how's that? Now personally, I think using the S word on you is being a tad extreme, so you might want to think bout chewing up oh say...a garden hose for starters? hm?

Now I do believe I heard anger in SHY'S voice when referring to Willow...can you say "issues?" There again, not to worry...I think we can get a two-fer if we call the Pet Psychic hotline. Whatcha think? Shy sweetie, I don't believe you can get "cooties" from Willow being in your dish, k? And listen, I think Sam could use a partner or two along the way so why not consider going with us? I'm thinking RV for traveling? Everybody having their own space? Whatcha say? You in?

Pets..Pets..Pets...anybody named Boots has my vote. Now I have to admit I don't see one bit of harm taking Lady along, but Boots! We need your company too. Come on guy. Who better to protect all of us innocent god-fearing beautiful female creatures than one handsome devil as yourself? Not to mention the 64 lbs! I ask ya! Well?

Okay, let's everybody get a grip...let's rethink this trip, and give it another shot, shall we?

Everybody hold out your paw to the screen and let's sing..."He Ain't Heavyyyyyy....He's My Brotherrrrr." Now, didn't that feel good?

Hugs and Licks, da Trixster....

Well Jaw Jaw I know now why you are the Queen, this is too funny for words.

Oh, Rosee and Reeta here, sneaking this in while she visits the bathroom again. A burro is a very small donkey or if you are allowed to use profanity, a jackass. He's alot bigger then Boots but wouldn't make a good watch thing, he was dumber than a stick...Our mom found him a home on a nice pigmy goat farm up in the hills with the Mormons. We're looking forward to your arrival, extra bowls, blankets and food stashed and ready. There are usually so many strangers around here, our person probably won't even notice a few more. I agree,in the infamous words of Rodney Rabbit;
"can't we all just get along?"

Hey Trixie Babe....sounds like we've got a great big old PAR-TAY going down with a HUGE load of fellow people-owners who are ready to fly the coop (no offense to you chickens out there). I think your idea of an RV (does that stand for Rescue Vehicle???) to chauffeur us around as we pick up the members of our traveling party is grand.

I've already got my backpack packed (say that five times fast)....and I'm ready to roll - just let me know what day you plan on getting to my human's house and I'll be waiting at the bottom of the driveway ready to join the gang!

Trixster - YOU DA BOMB!
Sammy

Well allll righty then...It sounds like to me we got ourselves a RT in the RV, am I right? Oh and for you lay-9's (in human talk that lay person) that would be Road Trip (RT) in the RV (Rescue Vehicle, as Sammy pointed out).

Now...before we take off into the wild blue yonder, I think it is best we get some rules in place for this RT. Don't You?

First of all:

1. No Chickens, no short goats, and definitely no Jackasses...and don't think for a minute I don't know what those are too. One pulled out in front of da Queen the utter day, and that's what she hollered at um..

2. Each animal is responsible for labeling their own dish and puleaseeeee no "pet" names (no pun intended)...any dish labeled "princess" or "precious" will be considered fair game...capice?

3. Be courteous of your fellow traveler, k? If they say they DON'T want to scratch your belly, it means they DON'T. No mean no. Don't make me pull over.

4. Leaving a ransom note for your people-owner will not be considered in good taste, even though YOU think it's funny.

This trip is for fun, and possible relocation which, will be determined at a later date. Airline or bus tickets home can be purchased at a minimal cost for anyone wishing to return home earlier than scheduled; however if you feel you might not be able to endure, don't EVEN go you big sissy! If you can't run with the big dogs, so to speak, stay on the porch, nuff said.

5. Yes, we WILL stop for every one to pee. End of story.

If you can think of anything else we need to bring out in the open, please add yours to the list.

"pigmy goat farm up in the hills with the Mormons"??? Is it me or is this funny? I mean who raises pigmy goats? and WHY? Do you sell them to short farmers? What?

Trix that list of "rules of the road" is el perfecto. Only thing I might add is:

6. Bring your own food...I won't nibble on your Fancy Feast and you don't get any of my Purina Dental Diet...(speaking from the feline point of view of course). That gourmet stuff gives me the - well let's just say it doesn't agree with me and you DON'T WANNA GO THERE OK???

Other than that, we are ready to rock-n-roll. Lemme know when to expect the Rescue Vehicle.

PAWSOME....I mean AWESOME!
Sammy

WEEELLLL, Trixster those of us canines in the know are aware that the Mormons at the foot of the mountains raise tiny and I must admit very cute little goats, they are multi colors and called Pigmys, usually about 20 lbs. I'm sure that person who runs that Thistle farm would know what they are. They are used for milk as far as I know and some use them as, if you can believe this, lawnmowers. They just adore eating grass. Of course they aren't as cute as we are, really darling, and then who is? But make a nice pet. I don't believe the cannibal persons eat them, but I'm not sure about that. Gastly business, eating animals. The thought gives us adija. When you all arrive pull onto the property and around back so the RV isn't visible and Rosee and I will take you all to the strip to partay. Later that night we'll hit the pool, no suits needed we do the nude thing. Oh, we're all a flutter that for once it'll be our friends staying over, the T.A.P.G. are a comin. Oh, in case you're not psychic that stands for the, TAKE A POWDER GANG......Ta ta big boy!!