I know, its sad, and then the ones that really need help dont get helped because that is the one day the poilce are afraid to go out and arrest or take their time. For me, I would want someone to call, because no one deserves it.

I just couldnt let it happen, they have a son, and if the son sees that its ok or thinks that its ok , he will start , but we can only pray that he doesnt turn out like his dad.

Unfortunately, if you grew up witnessing abuse (unless you are aware of what happened, etc.) a lot of kids grow up to be abusers; that is why 1 in 3 women are being abused. It is a National disgrace. It is a recursive cycle of violence.

I broke that cycle.

I did too. I'm so glad I did,heart breaking that I'm not with my kids more , but as a cousolor told me, you loved your kids enough to leave

Anne: I wish you could meet some of the men I've known, not all of them perfect, but none would be interested in physical abuse or self-abuse (drugs, alcohol). I continue to be amazed by some of the ..jerks you've met.

Either I've been lucky and pleasantly parted ways with guys before my dearie, or there are just certain social circles I just subconsciously avoid.

With 1 in 3 women being abused, unfortunately there is no way to avoid an abuser....abuse crosses all socio-economic lines.

From the highest paid CEO to the lowest paid worker.

(((Anne))): LOL, a good blow up doll; think I will look into that; yes these "men" on the dating sites are about 15; most of them can't even spell!!

In a way I do have a male friend (he is my therapist...only man in my life) went to him for the church debacle (www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com), and fell in love with him. I could write a book (oh, wait....I have, but that story is not in there, LOL!!

Hugs, Alice (and Francesca, my evil twin)

Hurting people, hurt people. Chatty is right: With the bad economy, elder abuse, animal abuse, child abuse, and spousal abuse will skyrocket. It's already happening! God should be brought into the equation, instead of taken out!

Wow, this is an intense discussion. Rachel, I like what your counselor said about you loved your children enough to leave an abuser. I wonder why women need to take karate, and/or carry mace. I mean, I wish the world was peaceful enough that we did not have to carry potential weapons to protect ourselves from predators of our own kind! Ellem, if I recall correctly, you were saying that if a woman got assaulted by a stranger, she probably would not hesitate to press charges. There was a time when I would have thought I deserved to be assaulted. Let's say I was in a grocery store parking lot, putting my groceries in the trunk and a punk came by and knocked me to the ground, stole my purse, and ran away. I would not have reported this. I would have thought, Oh, it's my fault... I should not have been wearing these shorts, I should not have been bending over, I should not have been hungover. Yikes, what learned helplessness! After all, I was told by my very own family that I was worthless, useless, and in the way. So, maybe I would have thought that I was in the way of this punk, and I deserved to be shoved to the ground. There is way too much hurt on this planet, human to human violence.

Anne wrote: "and I often wonder if the victim ever gets arrested out of fear of acknowledging the accuser." Yes, yes, yes. I was a victim advocate at a DV shelter. OMG I remember one woman, about our age. She came in on a Monday morning, black and blue, and swollen, and limping. She had spent the night in jail. On the Sunday before, her boyfriend had been beating her, and she was able to get to the phone. When the cops came, the boyfriend was such a good charming talker and manipulator that he had the cops believing it was her fault. Apparently he showed the officer a tiny pinch mark she had made on his arm. She was so victimized, silent, hurt, confused, that she was not able to speak up for herself, so she went to jail. I am so thankful that she had the presence of mind to come to the shelter the next morning. Oh, it was someone in the criminal justice system that told her about the shelter during the victim's overnight stay.