The problem, Anne, is science just does not know much about the brain. And, this, no matter what it ends up being labeled, is a disease of the brain. I am thankful it is not affecting his thinking.

Right now, we are covering Dennis with COBRA through his insurance at IKEA. It's not cheap, but it is great coverage. (Dennis lost his job right about the time he began to show signs of a parkisonian type disease and went to work for IKEA parttime.) In July, Medicaid should take over and the payments should decrease. We are so very lucky - we have good insurance and we both know how to find out the information we need to fight his disease.

It is rotten, but I feel lucky to have met this great guy. It came very late in life (late 40's), but every minute we are together has been a complete blessing. I hate to gush, but I love this man. And, better than that, this guy loves me. How lucky I am.

Love does conquer all. You and Dennis are living proof.

If it doesn't conquer all, it sure makes the tough stuff easier.

Life never gets dull in this house.

I went to work this morning and withing an hour, the school secretary told me she had put a call into my voice mail. She must have dialed the wrong vm, because nothing was there.

A few hours later there was another call for me. This time she found me. It was Raquel, Dennis' PCA. Dennis had fallen and broken a window. Thankfully he did not get hurt.

In addition, the appointment for tomorrow at the Mayo has been cancelled because the drug required had not arrived from Japan. (The drug is illegal here, but since it is a research project, they are able to use it).

Dennis won't get out of bed. He is so down about falling, and almost passing out at my parents on Sunday. I came home early from work to put a call into his doctor about his depression.

I know this post is a ramble, but I needed to get it all out.

Oh honey...so much on your shoulders, isn't there?

I'm sorry, I truly am. Please know I'm holding you and Dennis in prayer and sending love t you.

Ramble away dear, ramble away.

Anno, never a ramble. All makes sense to me. I think talking to the doctor about depression is a good thing. Good Lord, of course he's getting depressed. And I believe anti-depressants can really move the clouds.

When the medicine arrives, can you get another appointment quickly, or do you have to wait?

Has the doctor said anything about increasing Dennis' medication for his low BP, Anno? A relief he did not hurt himself in the fall.

I suppose that falling must seem so demoralizing for Dennis, as if it's some sort of concrete proof that his body is not under his own control. There's as much grief in that as in any loss. He may just need to hide himself "under the covers" while he regroups and finds his courage again. The cancellation of this much-anticipated appointment at the Mayo Clinic must also be akin to yet another setback for him.

Anno, this is probably the safest place for you to come and "ramble" and vent and grieve and worry...we're here for you. I don't participate in this thread all the time, but I read every entry and follow Dennis' progress with interest, care and prayer. I hope you always feel safe to come here and just "be" and breathe with us.

The doctor called back and told me he was sending in a prescription. I will pick it up tomorrow.

He does take a medication for maintaining his bp, but some of the meds he takes for movement counteract that medication. It's complex. That's why we are anxious to see the specialists at Mayo.

You are right, Eagle, about the fall being mentally debilitating. It's always one more reminder that he is not in full control.

I am happy that I can say what I need to say here. If people respond, or not, it's great knowing that I have a safe place to tell the truth.

Anno, I don't respond to every post but every time I read of you and Dennis, I say a prayer.